This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Yongning, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Buddhist Centre in Australia. She now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon her life as a woman who once identified solely with her fleeting beauty and the eventual liberation she found. Recorded by the disciple Shi Faxin on August 7, 2019.
Yongning speaks:
". I am Yongning. Looking back at my life, I see a peony flower, vibrant and charming, blooming before the eyes of the world. Beauty was the only thing I ever sought, yet I did not realise that the beauty I craved would eventually demand that I taste every drop of suffering. I suffered for emotion, and I suffered because of emotion. I often found myself asking: 'What was the purpose of this life?' My parents adored me for my appearance; strangers on the street were captivated by me; my husband was proud and delighted to have won such a prize. My beauty felt like a sharp, powerful weapon, but beneath that exterior, how was I to solve the riddle of a lonely, aching heart? It is not enough to have a life that appears perfect on the surface.
The Weight of a Life Script
After I gave birth to my child, it felt as though my life had reached its midpoint, and suddenly, I was being chased by the relentless passage of time. My heart remained heavy, and the sorrow did not dissipate. It felt as if my life was following a pre-written script, and I desperately wanted someone to give me the answers. I remember passing by a temple once and hearing the words, 'Namo Amituofo.' The tremor in my heart at that moment was beyond words. I could not help but walk inside. When I saw the Buddha statue, my heart felt a sudden, profound peace and comfort. For many days after returning home, the image of that Buddha lingered in my mind. But the pressures of reality were relentless. I was chased by the demands of daily life—serving those above me, caring for those below me. A woman is often kept so busy that she forgets what she truly wanted to pursue in the first place.
The Fading Petals of Time
As I grew older, I became accustomed to this pattern. My youthful beauty gradually transformed into white hair and deep wrinkles, much like a flower that has withered and is on the verge of falling apart. Finally, I saw my children grow up and succeed, and because of that success, they gradually left my side to pursue their own paths. The husband whose hand I had once held was now an old man, and the hand I held in return was dry and covered in wrinkles. At that moment, being able to hold those two old hands together was a blessing. I knew that when even those old hands could no longer touch, it would truly be the final separation of life and death. My body had aged, and my heart had aged with it. I felt that my life was nearing its end.
A Lifeline in the Buddha-name
I stood at the doorway, watching the sunset, my heart finally at peace. Occasionally, I would recall the events of the past. My life had been a journey through wind, frost, rain, and dew—a flower blooming and then fading, destined to return to the earth. I saw the image of myself and my husband admiring flowers together. I had once been a bright, eye-catching bloom, but I had always kept my head bowed. No one knew that the end of this life would be so quiet. No matter how beautifully I had bloomed in that garden of life, my spirit felt as though it were trapped, unable to move. It was not until I heard that Buddha-name again—the same one that had brought me such deep peace in my youth—that I was moved to tears. I finally remembered what I had truly been seeking all along.
to the Western Pure Land
This time, I chanted the Buddha-name aloud with all my heart. To my surprise, my body suddenly felt incredibly light. I had broken free from the space of the flower, and I found myself restored to the appearance of my youthful, beautiful self. In that space, I saw many others just like me, all of us revealing radiant smiles. Only then did I realise that this Buddha-name was exactly what had saved me. My heart was filled with and clarity; the stifling bitterness and suffering that had been buried deep within me were finally dissolved. Through the blessing of the Buddha, I am grateful for everything. A flower is merely one of the countless beings in this world. There are still immeasurable and boundless sentient beings being saved by Practitioner Su, transforming their bodies and rushing toward the West. With the compassionate protection of Namo Amituofo, the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss is right before my eyes—it is of such incomparable dignity. I am grateful for everything. At this moment, sounds of boundless gratitude are rising everywhere. The number of beings saved by Practitioner Su is immeasurable, and we are all gathered here in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.
