The Sacrifice Under the Weight of Power

This is a record of an interview with the spirit known as Mo Nan Si, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. Having been subdued and purified, he now resides in the Western Dharma-Nature Land. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent time in the Demon Realm. It was recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxin, on September 7, 2021.

Shi Dingkai (formerly Mo Nan Si) speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Mo Nan Si—a name I adopted after I entered the Demon Realm. It reflects the horrific, agonizing way my brothers and I perished, all because of the senseless power struggles between races. This tragedy remains a deep, festering wound in my heart. Carrying this pain, I transformed myself into the size of a needle, darting rapidly into the people of the race I held a grudge against. My speed was terrifying; I was a needle forged from grief and fury. I would pierce a person, pull myself out in an instant, and hunt for the next target. One after another, they fell. Many died rapidly under the plague I transmitted. This was my method, my singular purpose for seeking revenge against humanity.

The Vicious Cycle of Human Hatred

This is a catastrophe for humanity. Are you afraid? You should be. It is absolutely terrifying, isn't it? But tell me, why were humans not afraid when they were harming others? It is only when the flames finally lick their own skin that they realise they should be afraid. If you had shown us even a shred of mercy back then, I would never have chosen to participate in this pandemic. I feel so stifled; my heart is incredibly heavy. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but if humanity is not taught a lesson, their arrogance will only grow more rampant.

When I heard there was a power capable of resolving this pandemic, I came here quickly. I came to ask this place not to intervene, because this is the karmic retribution of humanity. This place should not interfere. I had to summon all my courage, turning my grief and fury into strength, to decide to participate in this pandemic. I did not want to be disturbed.

A Life Cut Short by Chemical Warfare

I transformed myself into a needle and entered this place, darting toward the person sitting before me. I pierced them and tried to pull away instantly, desperate to leave. But the moment that thought of leaving crossed my mind, I was blocked by layers of resistance. A massive, overwhelming force of righteousness covered me, rendering me unable to move. I expanded, and expanded again. My ugly form from the Demon Realm was being purified, and my respiratory tract, which had been damaged and suffocated, began to heal. What kind of power is this? How could it possibly restore me? I looked around in curiosity and saw that this place was filled with golden light.

Suddenly, someone called out to me. It was my brother from long ago. Like me, he had entered the Demon Realm due to the anger and hatred he felt after being victimised. We had met once after entering the Demon Realm, but we had gone our separate ways to develop our own paths. I never expected to meet him in this Buddha-land. His face looked peaceful, and he seemed to have returned to his original appearance. His voice was so gentle when he spoke to me. Seeing him restored, I was genuinely happy for him. But the moment I felt that joy, a cool, refreshing sensation washed over my burning esophagus, and my heart finally calmed down. I still had many needles on me, prepared for spreading the plague to tens of thousands of people I had already marked. How could I have known that by coming here, I would never be able to leave again?

Finding Hope in the Dharma

Every day here, there are grand, magnificent scenes, and there are lectures on the Dharma. Listening to the truth, bit by bit, the hatred in my heart has gradually subsided. Here, there is only compassion; there is no past, no hatred. The future is an even more beautiful Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, free from all suffering. This has ignited hope in my heart once again.

I was born in Germany during a chaotic era. I was still a student. One day, while sleeping in my dormitory, a chaotic, deafening noise erupted outside. With a loud 'bang,' my door was suddenly kicked open. My roommate and I sat up in bed immediately, only to see several men in military uniforms. They shouted at us, 'Come with us!' It happened so suddenly that we were taken away without even having time to dress properly. Every male student the soldiers encountered at the school was rounded up and taken to a military concentration camp.

From Victim to Plague-Spreader

We were ordered to put on identical uniforms. No one explained what was happening; we were simply thrown into a series of grueling military training sessions. The training began before dawn and lasted until nightfall. We crawled through muddy ground, ran with rifles on our backs, slithered through grass, hid in jungles in camouflage, and underwent long-distance running and shooting drills. Every single task pushed the limits of the human body. Everyone captured became stronger and stronger because of this training. Beyond the physical drills, they reinforced our racial beliefs. After several years, we became full-fledged soldiers, formidable in physique, marksmanship, and nationalistic fervor.

They told us that since the state was feeding us, the safety of the nation was more important than our own families. If one day we had to sacrifice ourselves for the country, it would be a glorious death. In the army, I was just a small soldier who followed orders. From the moment I was taken, I could never return home. Fortunately, I kept an old photograph of my family with me. Sometimes I would take it out and wonder how they were doing. Were they looking for me? Were they worried about me?

Day after day passed, until one day, an emergency order arrived. We were told to arm ourselves immediately. We were ordered to march toward the German border, and the war broke out. I was in the middle-rear ranks, so the front lines had already engaged in battle. As the war escalated, the tide of battle shifted back and forth, and more and more countries were dragged into the conflict. I heard from my superiors that this was a war for territory and regional dominance. Whoever gained the most land would win and earn the title of a great power in Europe. I could feel the ambition of the leaders of every nation. Months had passed, and there was no sign of the war stopping.

The Moment of Surrender

We were a group of well-trained soldiers. On the battlefield, we only knew how to charge forward, looking ahead, never asking why. Many of my brothers had already sacrificed their lives. We had no time to cry; we could only dig a large hole on the spot and bury the bodies. Sometimes, when our army was ambushed, we had to flee or protect ourselves, and those fallen brothers could not be properly laid to rest. They became wandering spirits with no one to collect their bodies. Every battle claimed countless lives. The people in the invaded regions began to flee and relocate. The entire European continent was plunged into chaos.

During an invasion, we ran into a village in a neighbouring country, preparing to launch a surprise attack on the enemy forces. It was a village nestled in the jungle with many places to hide. We were very confident that we could break through their lines in one fell swoop and force them to cede their land. We were well-hidden, waiting for them to pass, from morning until afternoon. Just as our vigilance began to wane, we suddenly heard a loud noise in the sky. Several planes flew toward the thicket where we were hiding. As they flew, they released a yellow mist, circling the area several times. The mist gradually descended with the air. At first, we didn't think much of it, but soon, the yellow mist entered our respiratory tracts. We couldn't breathe, and our bodies felt like they were about to explode. The horrific poison ravaged our internal organs, and within minutes, we were dead.

I had a strong will. Even after inhaling the poison, I struggled to maintain my consciousness, but I could feel the gas burrowing into my body, destroying me in a violent, explosive way. I watched with my own eyes as my brothers fell one by one, twisting and struggling, dying right in front of me. Even the villagers hiding in the village were poisoned to death by this heartless act. I was the last to fall, unable to understand why such cruel methods were used to kill people so quickly.

I was only thirty-one when I died. My young life was sacrificed in that war. Of course, it wasn't just me; countless lives were lost due to those power struggles. My life was not worth it at all; in fact, I had spent my time harming others. I could not bear the pain my body suffered at that time, nor could I forgive such cruel methods. All those intense, violent emotions drove my spirit, fueled by grief and fury, into the Demon Realm.

In the Demon Realm, I controlled those who craved power. I would let them achieve the power they desired, only to have them fall heavily from their satisfied state. I participated in many struggles between nations. People love to play these games, so I accompanied them. As the times progressed, I progressed too. I could accompany humanity in playing money games and online games. I have been involved in many things, so there are many 'demon children and grandchildren' scattered everywhere now.

If I hadn't been locked up after coming to this Buddha-land, I would still be doing these things. After being illuminated by the Buddha-light here, I finally saw how stifled my heart truly was. I realised that everything I did after entering the Demon Realm brought me no happiness at all. I realised that everything I did was creating karma, and the karma I created would have to be repaid in the future. Knowing this, I felt nervous and afraid. I didn't know what would happen to me.

Since I cannot leave and have been subdued by the Buddha-land, I can only listen to the Dharma and, with a shred of repentance, repent for my past deeds. The Buddha has given Mo Nan Si the Dharma name Shi Dingkai.

A New Path as a Dharma Protector

Coming to this Buddha-land has been a series of surprises for me. Beyond the countless beings gathered here, there are many former Demon Kings from all over who have changed their appearances and become Dharma protectors of this place. Why were they willing to let go of everything? After watching for a while, I finally understood: it is the compassion of the Buddha. The Buddha compassionately accepts all spirits, regardless of beauty or ugliness, good or evil. As long as one is willing to let go of the past, the Buddha accepts them. Seeing the Buddha's compassion, how could I still insist on doing what I wanted to do? My spirit is but a tiny speck in this Buddha-land. Why then did I feel defiance or a desire to return to the past? How foolish I was!

Seeing the scenes in this Buddha-land, I am purifying my mental notes bit by bit, correcting my biased, erroneous thoughts. I used to think a lot, and I still think now, but what I think about is how I should change.

During the Dharma assembly, it is as if Practitioner Su is turning the heavens and the earth, even the entire Milky Way. When many spirits see the light of Practitioner Su's Chao Du, it is as if they have seen hope, and they follow it forward. The Buddha stands in front, reaching out to lead them, surrounded by the pure Ocean-Wide Assembly of Bodhisattvas, filled with golden light. The speed of the deliverance is so fast, saving immeasurable and boundless beings.

After attending several Dharma assemblies, I have been deeply moved. I am now working hard at chanting Namo Amituofo, helping beings be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, hoping to repay some of the debts I owe from the karma I created in the past. Today, I can have such a great change, and I must thank the Buddha and Practitioner Su for their compassionate acceptance of me. Namo Amituofo."

Shi Dingkai (formerly Mo Nan Si)