A Female Body with a Man's Heart

This is a record of an interview with Takatomi Meiko, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. She now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon her life approximately eighty years ago. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on March 11, 2023.

Takatomi Meiko speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. Although I was born a Japanese woman, I never quite felt comfortable in a kimono. Today, I have changed into a simple white tunic and trousers, paired with traditional wooden sandals. In this attire, I led fifty-nine other prison guards, guided by the immense compassion of Practitioner Su, to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

The moment I arrived in the West, I was so moved that I burst into tears. It is truly beautiful, so incredibly dignified! The Western Trinity stood right before our eyes. We immediately knelt and bowed our heads, offering our deepest gratitude to the Buddha for His compassion, and to Practitioner Su for His mercy in granting us the opportunity to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. This is something we never even dared to imagine. My heart is filled with an indescribable sense of gratitude."

Growing Up with a Man's Heart

"My name is Takatomi Meiko, and I am Japanese. I inherited my mother's beautiful features; I was naturally attractive, and to the men around me, I was certainly a sight to behold. However, I never once felt drawn to any man. Why? Because my heart was far more like that of a man than theirs ever were.

My father was a soldier, a man possessing true masculine spirit. He was broad-shouldered and tall, while my mother would nestle beside him, looking as small and delicate as a little bird. Many people say that Japanese men of that era were chauvinistic, and in our time, that was certainly true. In most matters, the men had the final say. Women were expected to obey without question. Our daily lives were confined to managing the household, serving our husbands, listening to their every command, and caring for the children. We were not permitted to concern ourselves with anything else. That was the reality of our home, and I saw that it was much the same in every other household. It was simply the way of the world.

My parents had only me. My mother’s health was fragile, and she nearly lost her life giving birth to me. Fearing for her well-being, my father decided that I would be their only child. Consequently, I was their precious daughter, and they cherished me deeply."

The Dream of a Soldier's Life

"My father went off to war for the sake of our country. Every time I watched him in his military uniform, I felt a profound sense of admiration. I longed for the day when I, too, could be like him. But alas, I was a woman, and that dream could only ever remain a dream.

Even though I was beautiful on the outside, my inner spirit was incredibly heroic. Whenever there were tasks to be done in the village, no matter how large or small, I would be the first to step forward. Even if it were work typically reserved for men, I would rush to do it before them. In my heart, I always identified as a man; I never once viewed myself as a woman.

Someone once asked me, 'Why is your mother so gentle and soft, yet you are like a man?' I replied, 'If I were to be a soft, weak woman, I would have to live like these other Japanese women, spending every day confined to the home. Only by acting like a man can I go out and help others. Even if people whisper behind my back, I do not care. I love helping people, and doing this manual labour makes me truly happy.' He then asked, 'Will you marry in this lifetime?' I answered loudly and clearly, 'Of course not! If I married a man, could I still be a man? Certainly not!'"

The Burden of Leadership

"My determination did not mean my father allowed me to act as I pleased. Although I loved being like a man, my father held traditional views. He wanted me to be as gentle as my mother, speaking in a voice so soft it was barely audible. I, however, was always loud—a trait that didn't match my face at all. But this was who I was. No matter how many times my father asked me to change, I could not, and frankly, I did not want to. Being myself was the only way I felt comfortable and happy.

When I was twenty-eight, all the men in our village were conscripted. A great war was unfolding, and the nation needed every available soldier. I was eager to join, but I was a woman. Even if I dressed as a man, it was far too easy to be discovered, so I had to accept my fate. The men of our village said their goodbyes to their families, determined to succeed in the battle.

However, that battle was not a success. Most of the men who were conscripted never returned. My father was among those who perished, and our entire village was plunged into grief. In a very short time, we had lost all our men, leaving only a few elderly people behind. Seeing that the village needed someone to step up, I took the initiative and assumed the vital role of village head. I began to serve the villagers, becoming the first female village head in our history."

Protecting the Village

"Shortly after I took office, the war reached our village. I threw myself into the fray without a second thought, determined to protect my people. I led every villager through the night to a safe shelter. During that journey, I carried children, women, and the elderly on my back. As long as I had the strength, I helped anyone who could not walk, hoping only that every villager would reach safety.

Despite my efforts, some accidents occurred during the escape. I blamed myself deeply for not being able to protect everyone, but my capacity as a single person was limited. To those families, I could only offer my deepest apologies.

At the shelter, I barely slept. I had to stand guard to protect everyone. While they slept, I kept watch, ensuring no outsiders discovered our presence. If there was the slightest sound, I would immediately alert the villagers to be on guard. For that entire period, I did not sleep a single day, nor did I eat much. Yet, my spirit remained strong. It was as if a hidden power was helping me, giving me endless energy to protect my people."

A Life Cut Short

"My father had contributed so much to the village, protecting us with his life. Now that he was gone, the responsibility fell to me. Although I felt I hadn't done perfectly during that escape, my heart never wavered for a moment. I was truly protecting the villagers with my very life.

Life was incredibly arduous, but we walked through it bravely. After the war was declared over, we slowly began to return to a peaceful life, though everyone had to adapt to the new reality. As for me, I continued to serve as the village head. I used every method I could to help the villagers gain more welfare and rebuilt the infrastructure that had been destroyed. For a woman, this was no easy task, but I carried it on my shoulders. No matter how difficult it was, I gave my all, because it was my responsibility.

However, my life did not last long. After a heavy rain, I went into the mountains to inspect the road conditions and accidentally fell to the foot of the mountain. Just like that, I never returned to the human world, ending my life at the young age of thirty-five."

The Path to Deliverance

"My spirit originally had the chance to ascend, but when I saw so many people who had sacrificed themselves for the war suffering in the hells—simply because they had taken lives during the war, an act not of their own intent but of loyalty to their country—I felt such deep sorrow. I petitioned the King of Hell to let me serve as a prison guard, hoping that one day I might be able to help these souls.

In the hells, I also saw my own past. My sudden fall from the mountain was the result of karmic retribution from a past life. Originally, the debt was meant to be collected from both my mother and me. But I saw that before I died in that past life, I had sworn to heaven that if I were to be reborn as a human, I would be a good person, and that the debt should be collected from me alone, not my family. When I came to the human world this time, I truly lived as a good person. The debt that should have been collected from both my mother and me was eventually collected from me alone. Seeing this, my heart was filled with infinite gratitude.

About five years ago, I heard Practitioner Su giving a Dharma talk in the hells. The moment I heard it, I was overjoyed. I immediately shared the teachings with the other prison guards, and they, too, felt the joy of the Dharma. I then hurried to share these words with the beings in the hells, hoping they would all awaken a heart of sincere repentance and soon find liberation from their suffering.

With the help of the Buddha’s power, when Practitioner Su’s Dharma Body came to perform Chao Du, many beings in the hells began to chant Namo Amituofo loudly. They repented with all their hearts, some weeping uncontrollably. In the end, all those who truly repented were delivered by the compassion of Practitioner Su, following the Buddha-light out of the hellish space.

Not long ago, I received the news that I would be led to the West. I was so happy! Today, I have finally arrived in the Western Pure Land. All sixty of us prison guards are filled with gratitude. We kneel and thank the Buddha for His compassion, and thank Practitioner Su for His mercy.

Namo Amituofo."

Takatomi Meiko