A Nine-Year-Old's Journey from Suffering to Deliverance

This is a record of an interview with Fang Jin-an, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent service in the hells. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on January 27, 2023.

Fang Jin-an speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. Being able to see such a magnificent, towering Namo Amituofo, my heart is filled with profound emotion. Kneeling before the Buddha, I sincerely vowed to follow Him forever. The Buddha looked at me with such compassionate, gentle eyes, and in that moment, I knew I had finally found my home—my true destination. I am deeply grateful to Practitioner Su for personally leading me and fifty-nine other prison guards to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

I am Fang Jin-an. I lived in the human world for only nine years. Throughout those nine years, my body was tormented by the agonies of illness.

A Fragile Beginning

At birth, doctors diagnosed me with a congenital heart condition and predicted I would not live past five years of age. My entire family was devastated, for I was a child my parents had prayed for and struggled to conceive for many years. Although my parents were wealthy, they longed for a child of their own. They waited nine years after their marriage before I was finally born. Yet, amidst the joy of welcoming a new life, my complexion immediately signaled that something was wrong. I was rushed into the neonatal intensive care unit for observation. My mother was terrified and heartbroken, fearing that if I did not survive, she would not be able to go on either. During my first month, I faced death several times, only to be pulled back through emergency resuscitation. My parents lived in constant terror, dreading every phone call from the hospital, fearing news that I had taken a turn for the worse or had passed away.

After returning home from the hospital, my mother wept daily. She would kneel before Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, praying for my safety and blaming herself for not giving me a healthy body, forcing me to suffer from the moment I entered this world. After three months of hospitalization and being connected to tubes, I was finally allowed to go home. When my mother held me in her arms, she could not take her eyes off me, weeping with relief and gratitude.

Living on the Edge

My body remained frail and thin. I cried often, and the wounds from the medical procedures caused me unbearable pain. My mother guarded me day and night, barely sleeping. The doctors warned that I must not cry too hard, as my heart was underdeveloped and different from others; excessive exertion could cause oxygen deprivation and lead to collapse. My parents were always on edge. No matter where she was, the moment I began to cry, my mother would rush to my side to soothe me. It is no exaggeration to say that my every breath and movement held my parents' hearts in a vice of anxiety.

I was held in the palm of their hands, living past the age of five. When I was about to turn six, our whole family celebrated with a grand meal, photos, and festivities. My parents looked at me with eyes full of emotion, praying to the heavens throughout the celebration that I would be safe for the rest of my life. But just days later, I suddenly experienced difficulty breathing, gasping for air, and was rushed back to the hospital. That day, my consciousness drifted. I saw many spirits floating around me, and beyond that, I could hear my parents crying out my name. My consciousness kept searching for them, but no matter where I turned, I felt trapped, unable to find an exit. I grew terrified and began to weep, searching endlessly.

The Compassion of a Child

Finally, time returned to the present. I slowly opened my eyes and my fingers twitched. Seeing this, my mother wept with joy and called out, 'Jin-an!' I gave her a faint, weak smile. That time, due to a persistent high fever, the doctors kept me hospitalized for quite a while to prevent a systemic infection. I was in the pediatric ward, watching other children with heart conditions like mine. Each of them was fighting for their lives, struggling to overcome their illnesses. I saw some families receive notices of unpaid medical bills, and seeing the sorrow on the parents' faces, I knew they could not afford the treatment. My heart ached for them. Even though these children were in pain, they tried so hard to get better, knowing they were a heavy burden on their parents.

One night, I could not sleep, and the child in the next bed was awake too. We talked about our lives. He envied the care I received, saying I didn't have to worry about anything. For them, one parent had to work while the other cared for them, and they had been struggling to afford even one meal a day; now, they had to borrow money for medical expenses. People would come to the bedside to ask when the money would be repaid. Although his family tried to shield him, he knew everything. Many times, he wished his life would end so he wouldn't be a burden to his parents. He told me there were many children in the hospital in the same situation. I felt so sad and hoped I could do something to help.

The next day, when I saw my parents, I told them about the suffering of these children and the help they needed. I asked if we could help them. My parents understood my heart and held my hand, saying, 'You are a kind child. We will help you fulfill your wish.' I was overjoyed.

A Short Life Well-Lived

A few days later, those children came to my room to thank my parents for covering all their medical expenses. Seeing the worry vanish from their faces and their parents' faces, I felt so grateful for what my parents had done. As the children recovered and prepared to leave, I was so happy for them. I asked my parents to host a party for everyone with delicious food and drinks. It was a day of true joy for us. After we were discharged, they would visit our home regularly. We became like a family; my parents treated them as their own, and I gained many brothers and sisters. On holidays, I would ask my parents to take us to the pediatric ward to encourage the sick children, giving them the confidence to stand up again. Those were the happiest days of my life.

When I was eight, one morning, a sudden, sharp pain struck my chest and heart. I was rushed to the hospital. The doctors were baffled as to why my heart function had deteriorated so severely despite regular check-ups. My parents were worried, but after years of encouraging other sick children, my heart had grown strong and I was not afraid. I comforted my parents, telling them to believe in me, that I would pull through. They were comforted by my words, yet their hearts remained heavy with worry. From that day on, I never left the hospital again. Many children came to visit me. As my condition worsened, I prepared myself. I asked those who had walked the path of pain with me to continue helping others, to carry on the work in my stead. They promised they would. I also asked them to visit my parents often after I was gone, and they agreed.

The Truth of Cause and Effect

Having settled these matters, I felt at peace, even though I could not bear to let my parents know I might leave them. Life has an end; living each day happily is a positive attitude. After lingering in the hospital for half a year, I died of heart failure at the age of nine. I could feel my parents' immense grief. At first, I lingered by their side, wanting to comfort them, but my time had come, and I had to leave to report to the underworld.

Before me, I saw Yama, the King of Hell. He looked stern, which frightened me. Yama spoke: 'Fang Jin-an, do you know your sins?' I was confused and could not answer. Yama continued: 'The illness you suffered in this life was the result of the collective karma you and your parents shared, which harmed an entire village. The people lost their peaceful lives, and in their resentment, they have come to collect their debt from you, the mastermind.' Hearing this, I had an 'Aha!' moment. I realized I had hurt so many people in the past and owed such a great debt. I repented thoroughly before Yama and my karmic creditors. Yama said: 'If not for the good deeds you performed for those children in this life, you would have suffered a much more painful death.' I knelt and thanked Yama. Seeing my sincerity, after my repentance, he granted me the position of a prison guard.

Deliverance to the Western Pure Land

During my service in the hells, I witnessed the rise and fall of human hearts, which left a deep impression on me. I longed for the opportunity to help beings. While in the hells, I would periodically see a powerful light descend. Some hell-beings who were willing to repent would be led away by this light, instantly restored to peace. I was astonished. Later, I learned it was Practitioner Su from the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. Listening to Practitioner Su's Dharma talks, every word of which was Truth, I learned of the Western Pure Land and longed to be liberated. Today, I stood in line with fifty-nine other prison guards to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. Our hearts are filled with gratitude and thanksgiving.

Namo Amituofo.

With palms joined, Fang Jin-an."