Awakening from the Darkness of a Stolen Life

This is a record of an interview with Fu Yangbi, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his experiences in the human world and the hell realms. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on January 21, 2023.

Fu Yangbi speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. The Western Land of Ultimate Bliss is truly a place of such profound ease, peace, and dignity. Upon arriving here, the cycle of rebirth has finally come to a temporary rest. I am filled with gratitude to Namo Amituofo for His compassion in creating such a magnificent Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. I am also deeply grateful to Practitioner Su, who leads us—the former prison guards of the hell realms—to the Western Pure Land every week. We all carry this gratitude in our hearts, offering our sincerest bows and thanks.

The Illusion of Happiness

I am Fu Yangbi. I would like to begin by asking the people of the world today: what is the happiest thing about being alive? I imagine everyone would give a different answer, as everyone has their own version of happiness. I also know that many people might not be able to answer at all, as they cannot feel anything in this world that brings them true joy. This is quite normal, for I have experienced those very same feelings myself.

I am no longer a human being now. Without a physical body, the sensation of existence is entirely different. My spirit has been travelling through the hell realms and has now arrived in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. Having experienced the stark contrast between these two realms, my heart is filled with a much more intense and profound realisation.

The Search for Liberation

I want to say to those who are still enjoying their lives: 'Life can be lived happily, but one must never forget to seek liberation.' What is a 'good life'? In my past, I suppose it meant having a spiritual anchor while living in material abundance. That seemed like a decent way to live. But that was only my perspective before I turned twenty-eight. After that age, I discovered that such a life could no longer satisfy me.

I believe many people must feel exactly as I did. This physical body is always plagued by endless desires waiting to be satisfied. I used my wealth to indulge these cravings, which was quite easy for me. However, the easier a desire is to satisfy, the less satisfaction one actually feels. Because it was obtained so effortlessly, it felt as if it meant nothing at all.

A Life of Excess and Emptiness

What other pleasures were left in life? By the time I was twenty-eight, I was truly lost. I did not know how else to live my life. So, I began to travel everywhere, hoping to find the answers I wanted and needed. I drove fast cars across the vast lands of America, turning the music up to the maximum volume, relishing the feeling of wildness, freedom, excitement, and joy. It felt as if the entire car—or perhaps my whole being—was about to fly off the ground.

I lived this way for nearly half a year, going to different places every day, letting myself indulge completely. I constantly used these intense sensations to stimulate my body, trying to force it to feel pleasure and happiness. But after six months, I became numb again. I stopped driving and began walking alone through bustling cities, staring at the colourful, flashing signs. I would walk into shops that caught my interest and walk out of those that did not. My body felt wooden, devoid of any real sensation. I did not even know what I was doing.

I also frequented nightclubs, singing, dancing, and drinking with the crowds. Many women who were interested in me would approach me; I would dance with them, chat with them, and take home those who caught my eye. That lifestyle allowed me to find a fleeting sense of pleasure for a while.

The Dark Void

At the age of thirty-two, a traffic accident on the highway pulled me into a dark, desolate space. In that void, I was terrified and panicked. No matter how much I ran, I could not find an exit. I did not know where to go. For six full months, my physical body lay in a coma in the hospital's intensive care unit, never waking up.

My parents worried for me and shed tears, but I could not feel their heartache at all, because I was trapped in that dark space, completely unaware of what was happening in the world outside my body. Six months later, my body unexpectedly woke up. My parents were overjoyed, but what about me? I was still in that dark space, unable to find an exit. How could my body have woken up? Who had replaced me? I had absolutely no idea.

In the darkness, I stopped struggling. Because no matter how agitated or anxious I became, I remained in the same void with no chance of escape. So, I gave up. I just sat in that dark space, feeling depressed and sorrowful. I have no idea how long I sat there.

The Power of the Holy Name

While I sat in that darkness, many scenes from my past lives kept appearing before me. I clearly saw my many lifetimes—one after another. Each life was different; sometimes I was a human, sometimes an animal. I had done everything. I wondered, 'Who am I, really?'

I kept looking back, until I saw a lifetime where I was a practitioner of the Buddha's teachings. In that life, I had distanced myself from the noise of the world, practising in a temple, chanting the Buddha's name with a pure heart every day, and feeling the joy of the Dharma within. At that moment, I remembered the name 'Namo Amituofo.' Tears immediately streamed down my face, and I shouted this holy name aloud. In an instant, the entire space began to vibrate, shattering the darkness. I was rapidly pulled out of that space and returned to where I belonged.

'I am back,' I said. The person who said this was me, speaking to a woman and three children. My spirit was confused for a moment, and only then did I realise I had returned to my body.

A Stolen Life

A familiar yet strange world appeared before my eyes. It turned out that ever since I had fallen into a coma, I had been trapped in that dark space, while another spirit had taken over my body, living from the age of thirty-two to forty-five. For those thirteen years, that spirit had also been enjoying life—marrying a wife, having three children, and inheriting my father's business. He often worked overseas, and life seemed to have entered a stable state. But that was not me living my life; it was another spirit who had replaced me, living the life he desired.

Who was this spirit? I wanted to look closely, but he quickly retreated. My intuition told me he was my elder brother from a past life, and also my karmic creditor. That was another story from the past; he had come into this world with resentment to find me, using my body to live the life he had once wanted for himself.

I felt a deep sense of lamentation and a profound realisation. Did I still have any attachment to this life? Probably not. The wife and children before me were strangers, yet they were indeed my wife and children, and I had to be responsible for them. That holy name, 'Namo Amituofo,' which had saved me, guided me to the Buddha's teachings. I no longer used this body to pursue the satisfaction of desires; instead, I wanted to immerse myself in the purity of practising the Buddha's path.

Deliverance from the Hell Realms

For the sake of my family, I did not become a monk, but I led my whole family to practice the Buddha's teachings together. I also introduced the Dharma to my friends and relatives. Through the insights of my own life, I constantly helped those who were trapped in their own difficulties, leading them to know the Buddha, to practice, and to slowly step out of their predicaments. I lived out the rest of my life quietly. By 'quietly,' I mean that my heart did not have great fluctuations. I was still living, but I lived each day in a state of calm.

After my spirit left the body, I entered the hell realms and served as a prison guard. I never expected that I would not be reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. It was my inability to completely let go that prevented me from going there. Looking back now, the human body is truly foolish. Even when one knows the truth of things, one still cannot fully let go. That is what we call karma.

In the hell realms, I constantly helped the suffering beings, hoping they would have a chance to be saved. The method of salvation is nothing more than the two words: 'repentance.' It was not until Practitioner Su's Dharma Body came to the hell realms that I realised a human could actually enter hell and use the six-character holy name to save the beings there. I was filled with immense admiration. I also began to listen to Practitioner Su's Dharma talks while in hell. Through the teachings in the sutras, I learned how to guide these beings, helping them to develop a heart of renunciation, to chant the Buddha's name, and to find liberation from suffering.

I am grateful for this opportunity today to be led by Practitioner Su to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. We, the sixty prison guards, bow once again to Namo Amituofo and pay our deepest respects to Practitioner Su.

Namo Amituofo."