From Prison Guard to the Western Pure Land

This is a record of an interview with Yan Huaming, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent spiritual journey. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on May 21, 2022.

Yan Huaming speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. Upon arriving in the Western Pure Land, the surge of emotion and gratitude within my heart compelled me to kneel immediately before the Buddha. In that single moment of clarity, I shaved my head, fully resolved to walk the path of monastic practice.

What was the driving force behind such a firm resolve? It was the deep insight I gained after so many years of contemplating life and the cycle of reincarnated existence. Now that I have been granted such a magnificent opportunity to return to the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss and attain eternal liberation, I have vowed to become a monastic. If the opportunity arises in the future, I am absolutely willing to dedicate my heart to save beings.

The Burden of a Name

When this life of mine still existed in the human world, my physical shell was named 'Yan Huaming.' This name represents who I was in that lifetime. Everything that happened to the shell of Yan Huaming is connected to the spirit I am now, because I was the one who used that body to live my life in the world.

When I was five years old, I had a dream that left a profound impression on me. In the dream, it was incredibly noisy, and someone was shouting loudly: 'Hurry, hurry, hurry! The master is in a rush to eat beef, bring it over quickly!' As soon as I heard this voice in the dream, I was so terrified that I wanted to run, but my legs had gone weak with fear; no matter how hard I tried, I could not move. Very quickly, the group of people ran over and dragged me away. A sharp knife was ruthlessly drawn before my eyes, and I woke up from the dream in a state of shock.

A Childhood of Premonition

This dream was so vivid; it did not feel like a dream at all. It felt as if this event had truly happened. As a five-year-old, I described this dream to the adults, but they dismissed it. After all, I was just a child who often talked in his sleep. They treated it as if they were listening to a story and felt nothing. But for me, this dream caused me to start contemplating one thing even at such a young age: 'So, I was once a cow, and now I am a human. Therefore, I cannot be a human forever. What happens after this? Where will I be born next?'

I had this awareness at five years old, but I had no way to make choices for my own life because I was born into a despotic family.

The Shadow of Authority

In our home, whatever my father said was like an imperial decree. Everyone had to listen, obey, and comply. From my mother to my eldest brother, second brother, third brother, and my two elder sisters, no one ever dared to resist. Even I, the youngest, dared not defy him. My father had been extremely strict since I was young. The entire family environment made me afraid to have any opinions or thoughts of my own; everything had to follow my father's arrangements.

Our family environment was quite good. My grandfather left a large inheritance to my father, and my father had been doing business since he was young, earning a great deal of money. We had more than enough to cover our annual expenses, and we never had to worry about food or clothing.

To my father, we children represented him. If we performed well, my father had 'face'; if we performed poorly, we brought shame upon him. My father was a man who placed immense importance on reputation and dignity.

The Illusion of Success

My mother was beautiful and virtuous. No matter what kind of occasion my father took her to, she was always praised, so my father loved taking her out. My mother would cooperate, always dressing herself to look as young and beautiful as possible.

My brothers and sisters were also very outstanding. My eldest brother, in particular, began learning business from my father at the age of fifteen. From childhood to adulthood, every business tactic was second nature to him. He performed brilliantly, which made my father very satisfied.

My eldest brother became a role model for my second and third brothers. They followed in his footsteps, wanting to become as capable as him—to be able to receive a large sum of money just by speaking a few words on the phone, without any effort at all.

Among all the children, it was unexpected that I was the one my father had the highest hopes for. Yet, my performance was the most disappointing to him because my heart was not in running the business. To me, that was not the most important thing in life. My father knew I did not want to walk this path, but in his understanding, only by walking this path could one be successful. Therefore, he used his authority to suppress me, forcing me to listen and obey.

The Simplicity of the Heart

I was forced to learn alongside my brothers. Whatever they taught me, I learned. I had a sharp mind, and I could learn anything quickly—except for one thing: 'scheming.' I could never learn it.

My brothers learned to scheme very early on. They taught me: 'In the business world, you must compete with other companies. You cannot be without schemes, because the other side will certainly have them. You must be more cunning than them and understand their every move to win.' I understood what my brothers said, but I truly could not learn it. That was a simplicity that remained in my character.

In the company, the positions for us four brothers had long been arranged by my father. As for my two sisters, their work in this life was to marry into high-ranking families that would be most beneficial to our company, such as the wealthy heirs of other firms. Thus, my sisters were arranged for matchmaking very early. Many wealthy merchants liked them because they were beautiful and had been trained by my parents to be very elegant, which men found quite attractive.

In such a family environment, I was not happy at all. Every time I recalled the dream I had at five years old, I would rethink: 'Is this really how I am to spend my life? If I become a cow in my next life, what then?'

The Collapse of a Dynasty

To pursue the life I truly wanted, I constantly observed the people around me, watching how they lived and how they ended up. Each person was like a teacher, providing me with many different inspirations and insights.

When I was twenty-three, my father suddenly passed away from a myocardial infarction. Unexpectedly, as soon as he was gone, my three brothers immediately turned against each other to fight for the company's shares. I chose to give up everything and withdraw completely. To my brothers, my choice was a good thing—one less person to divide the wealth.

After my father left, my brothers all changed. I had never seen them like that; it was as if I did not know them at all. This made me see through life: the affection of a family is only this much. They could disregard blood relations for the sake of wealth, fame, and status. This was the family everyone cared so much about.

After the family split, my brothers all moved out. Only my mother and I remained in the house. I was not the child my mother loved the most, but I was the only one left by her side. From time to time, I could see the loneliness in her eyes. Even though she could still wear expensive clothes, one could see from her eyes that she was not happy at all. To see my brothers, my mother had to make many phone calls. I knew my brothers would sometimes deliberately not answer, but I dared not tell her. Seeing my mother like that, my heart truly ached.

Finding Value in Charity

My mother often scolded me in front of others, saying I was stupid for not knowing how to run the company with my brothers and for choosing to do charity work instead. In truth, my mother did not understand that when I was doing this work to help others, I felt a sense of value in being alive. Otherwise, my previous life had been very painful; I could not see any hope for life, and I only felt that my life would soon end, and I did not know where I would go next.

Although I still do not know where my soul will stop next, at least I am seizing my limited life to help those in need in society. I am doing my best to leave a little love and warmth in the world. To me, this is a very meaningful thing.

To help more people, I often went to many underdeveloped countries, sending resources into particularly impoverished areas so that the poor could receive help.

The Final Years

When I was thirty-seven, my mother fell ill and lay in bed in a coma. I had expected my brothers to come back to see her, but I never waited for them even once. I only heard that they had fallen out and opened separate branch companies to manage individually.

I went to the hospital every day to see my mother, sitting by her side and talking to her. During that time, I met a fellow practitioner who studied Buddhism. She introduced the Dharma to me, and I felt such joy that I decided to follow the Buddha's teachings. Afterward, I spent my days introducing the Dharma to my mother and chanting sutras for her.

I accompanied my mother for twenty full years. During these twenty years, I knew she lived in great pain, yet she could not leave the human world. On the day my mother passed away, my brothers came to see her for the last time, but they quickly said the company was busy and all left. Even my sisters said they had children to take care of at home and soon left as well. In the end, I was the only one left alone again.

For the forty-nine days after my mother passed, I chanted sutras every day to dedicate the merit to her, hoping she would have a smooth journey.

From Hell to the Pure Land

Looking at my father and mother, looking at the changes in this family, I had many reflections. Is this what life is? After sending my mother on her final journey, I continued to run my charity work while studying Buddhism. On holidays, I would go to the temple to attend Dharma assemblies or do volunteer service. I maintained this lifestyle for the rest of my life.

After my life ended, my spirit served as a prison guard in hell. Watching those suffering criminals every day, my heart was very heavy, and I did not know how to help them. About six or seven years ago, by a stroke of Causal Conditions, I saw the Dharma Body of Practitioner Su enter hell. When I heard the holy name of Namo Amituofo, I was so happy that I rushed out to watch. That was when I began to know Practitioner Su and learned that she compassionately uses her Dharma Body to save beings in hell.

Only after that did I truly understand what it means to practice Buddhism. It is a great pity that I did not know this while I was alive, blindly chanting and serving without knowing that one must seek awakening and liberation in the practice of Buddhism.

Now, I have been guided by Practitioner Su to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, and I have resolutely decided to become a monastic. This is a dream I never had the chance to complete while I was alive. This ordination is absolutely the right choice. I will strive to listen to the sutras in the Western Pure Land, change myself, and accumulate merit for the path of saving beings.

Namo Amituofo.

Yan Huaming"