From the Depths of Hell to the Western Pure Land

This is a record of an interview with Tang Benshan, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent journey through the realms of existence. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxin, on February 16, 2024.

Tang Benshan speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. That I am able to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss today is something I feel incredibly fortunate to have achieved. I am deeply grateful for all the Causal Conditions that allowed my spirit to transform, and I offer my heartfelt thanks to Practitioner Su for leading me here. Arriving in the Western Pure Land has provided me with an entirely new level of understanding. I am truly grateful.

My name is Tang Benshan. In my memories, I began to suffer from a very young age. It was a chaotic era. My parents were working away from home when a sudden social uprising broke out. They were simply there to earn a living, yet they were seized by government officials and never returned home. My two sisters and I only learned of this tragedy through the whispers of our neighbours. From that day forward, our entire existence relied on the charity of those around us.

A Childhood Defined by Fear

Looking back, I was only six years old at the time. My two sisters were ten and twelve—we were all still at an age where we desperately needed our parents. Every night, as the darkness descended, the three of us would hold hands, trembling with fear as we tried to survive until dawn. I have lost count of how many nights we spent like that. When my eldest sister turned fifteen, she began working outside the home. The meagre wages she brought back each month had to be stretched and divided again and again—so much for food, so much for necessities. Even though it was never enough, my sister tried so hard.

Before leaving for work every day, my eldest sister would instruct us just as our mother used to: keep the house in order, don't wander out, and stay safe. We were very obedient and listened to her every word. With barely enough to survive, there was no question of schooling. Before our parents were taken, we had been students, but after they were gone, our only focus was solving the immediate problem of staying alive. Our relatives once tried to separate us, suggesting that each of them take one of us in, but my eldest sister insisted that we stay together. We could not be separated, so we remained strong and continued to live on our own.

The Burden of Isolation

When I reached my teens, I found manual labour and began to work with everything I had. Because the factory saw that I was young and inexperienced, they piled endless tasks upon me while paying me a pittance. I kept working, day after day, utterly exhausted. It wasn't until an older man in the factory couldn't bear to watch anymore that he stood up for me and fought for a pay rise. I felt such immense gratitude toward him. Every cent I earned went back to our household. As I grew older and gained the ability to earn more, I felt an even greater responsibility to protect my sisters.

We grew up clinging to one another. Our hearts were so full of bitterness that we eventually forgot what it felt like to be anything else. Growing up in such an environment fostered a deep-seated need to protect my family and a habit of extreme frugality. Once our lives finally stabilised, these traits had become etched into my very bones. I became so frugal that I was stingy, and my mind-capacity became incredibly narrow. I became accustomed to protecting only myself. When others tried to show me kindness, my first instinct was to judge their motives. I do not know when it happened, but I had consumed my own sincerity.

A Lonely End and a New Beginning

Because I treated others with such suspicion, few wanted to be close to me, which left me feeling deeply saddened. My heart remained heavy throughout my entire life. After my two sisters married, they both invited me to live with them, but I refused. I closed my heart off more and more, becoming increasingly reclusive. By the time I was forty, my body was failing, and for five years, I was often bedridden. At forty-five, I passed away in total solitude, ending a life that I had never been able to find happiness in.

While I possessed a human body, I harboured so many negative thoughts and feelings, which caused my heart to shrink until it contained nothing but myself. Consequently, after death, my spirit continued to contract until I entered the body of a tiny insect. I crawled and crawled, aimlessly, just as I had lived my human life without a true goal. My spirit still felt the weight of suffering. As an insect, I lived in a garden—a truly beautiful garden. But because my heart remained closed, I could not see the beauty around me; I could not see that I, too, could have lived a beautiful life.

The Bird and the Wider World

When I looked up at the flowers, they seemed to greet me, and I saw many bees circling them, which told me how popular they were. I glanced at a flower and thought, 'You are so beautiful, so radiant, while I am so dark and ugly. We are worlds apart.' Looking at the flower only deepened my sense of inferiority. After a moment, I crawled away. Along the way, many things spoke to me. A large rock said, 'Hello,' but I nodded without even looking at it. The grass was happy to let me walk upon them, and they could still laugh joyfully. Compared to my state, I felt truly pathetic and pitiable.

One day, as I was crawling, a bird snatched me up. I was terrified and struggled with all my might, but no matter how hard I fought, I could not escape. Finally, I lost all strength and went limp, believing I was about to kick the bucket. To my surprise, the bird soon landed on a high tree branch and placed me there. For the first time, I climbed to such a height and saw scenery I had never imagined. In that instant, I realised that my world was not just what I had seen before me. The world was vast and boundless.

A Spark of Compassion

Just as I had this small realisation, the bird picked me up again. This time, it flew lower, allowing me to see the entire landscape clearly. Among all things, there were many sounds, and I heard cries of agony. These sounds drew me in, and I saw that the entire space was filled with spirits of animals. Some were dismembered, missing limbs or internal organs. The heart-wrenching suffering emitted by their spirits made me feel their pain as if it were my own. At that moment, a powerful intention arose in my heart: I wished that one day I could save them. Although this wish was just a fleeting thought, it was incredibly sincere. I truly hoped they would no longer have to suffer.

As the bird flew higher, it accidentally dropped me, and I fell from a great height into the water. Since I could not swim, I died in the water. After death, my spirit left the insect body and entered the Hall of Yama. Yama struck his gavel, and I felt the atmosphere turn solemn. Yama said, 'Your experiences in this life were the result of cause and effect. If not for that final thought of compassion, you would have entered the animal realm. Now that you have a heart that wishes to help beings, you may take the position of a prison guard. Serve well.' I was deeply grateful and repented for my past.

The Final Deliverance

During my time serving in the hells, I encountered many stubborn beings who refused to admit their faults even after being punished. Even when their bodies were scorched black by fire, they still refused to yield. I realised that this was exactly why they had created such karma. I reflected on myself and understood that such intense, rigid temperaments are not to be desired. One day, while on duty, I was fortunate enough to hear Practitioner Su giving Dharma talks. Only then did I learn that the ultimate destination for our spirits is the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, and that everything before me was merely temporary. I began to look forward to that day with hope.

Because of the compassion of the Buddha, the compassion of Practitioner Su, and the compassion of Yama, I am able to be reborn in the Western Pure Land today alongside other prison guards. The brilliance of the Western Land leaves me in endless awe. The purity of the Western Land fills me with gratitude. I am grateful for all these Causal Conditions. Tang Benshan, with palms joined in prayer. Namo Amituofo."