Letting Go and Finding One's True Self

This is a record of an interview with Feng Chunli, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent service as a spirit in the underworld. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on May 31, 2024.

Feng Chunli speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am deeply grateful to Practitioner Su for helping me reach the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This is a day of liberation from the sea of suffering for myself, my sixty fellow prison guards, and countless other sentient beings. Upon arriving in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, I heard the celestial music of Namo Amituofo constantly surrounding me. It washed over my entire being, leaving me feeling incredibly refreshed and cool. I am profoundly grateful for this magnificent Causal Conditions.

My name is Feng Chunli. I chose this name for myself as a child, hoping it would help me escape the painful memories of my early life.

A Childhood Lost in the Flames of War

I was born into a chaotic era, a time when the world was engulfed in the fires of war. I remember being only nine years old, seeing people fleeing in terror everywhere I looked. I recall my mother holding my hand tightly, leading me as we ran from place to place. I asked her, 'Mother, where are we going?' She did not actually know, but she replied, 'To a safe place.'

My mother pulled me along, following the surging crowds. Suddenly, an explosion erupted ahead of us. Everyone began to scream, and the tension became unbearable. In an instant, the crowd surged, pushing and shoving violently. My mother tried her best to hold onto me, but to my horror, she was ripped away by the sheer force of the panicked masses.

I heard my mother calling my name loudly from somewhere in the distance, but I could not see her. I was so terrified, looking everywhere, searching frantically. After searching for a long time, I still could not find her. I cried and cried, calling out, 'Mother! Mother! Where are you?'

The Seeds of Vengeance

From that day on, I began to wander. My heart ached with longing for my mother, but I had to face the harsh reality of the present. When I was hungry, I scavenged for anything to eat. Sometimes, kind-hearted people would give me food, allowing me to fill my stomach just a little.

I saw so many people fleeing for their lives, and I saw many men in military uniforms bullying the civilians. Even when the people begged for mercy, those officers showed no compassion. I witnessed those officers take the lives of several civilians, and my heart burned with rage. I thought to myself, 'Even though I am just a child, I hope that one day I can take revenge for those who have been harmed.'

From that moment, my heart was filled with hatred. Many nights, as I slept on the roadside, I dreamed of the scenes where the civilians were harmed. Because of this, my desire for justice became the driving force that kept me alive through those difficult times. I was determined to seek justice for the people.

The Path to Power and the Turning Point

Those arduous days passed, one by one. I transformed from a homeless street child into a young man, capable of working and supporting myself. I had strong convictions, and countless times I thought to myself that when I had the power, I would use high-pressure, forceful means to retaliate against those officers. As I grew older and more aware, I realised that the ruling authorities were constantly suppressing those beneath them. I decided then that I must climb the ladder of power; only by reaching the top could I one day change everything.

When I finally attained the position I had sought, I planned a series of actions intended to catch the high-level officials off guard and shake the entire establishment. I did not know what the consequences would be, but I did not want to think about them anymore. I just wanted to resolve the hatred that had festered in my heart for so many years using my own methods.

One day, while walking down the street, I was mentally mapping out my plan for revenge. My eyes were fierce, and countless images of violence flashed through my mind. Suddenly, an old man called out to me. He said he had difficulty walking and hoped I could help him get home. In that instant, all the thoughts of my revenge plan vanished into thin air. Looking at the old man's kind expression, I supported him and walked slowly in the direction he indicated.

The Wisdom of Letting Go

As we walked, he could tell I was deep in thought. He said, 'Sigh! Time passes, and over twenty years have gone by. The instability of the times back then caused me to lose my family, leaving me all alone. My beloved older brother was taken away by soldiers, and not long after, I received the tragic news of his death.' Hearing this, I asked the old man, 'Do you not feel resentment?'

The old man replied, 'I once felt great resentment, but later I realised that this resentment was too heavy. It weighed me down until I had no smile left, no self left. So, I decided to let it go. The moment I let go, my whole body felt so light, and even my face changed. Since the events have already passed and everyone's life has returned to peace, there is no need to create more waves to hurt others.'

After I saw the old man home, I pondered every word he had said. I discovered that his words had struck a chord in my heart, causing me to reflect bit by bit. If I had proceeded with my planned act of revenge, I would have truly harmed many people. Moreover, that harm would likely not have ended in the present; it might have extended to future generations. Thinking of this, I realised that my thoughts over the years had been truly wrong.

A New Life and the Land Deity

Upon realising this, I truly pulled the black grass of hatred from my heart. Only then did I feel I had truly become myself again. I wanted to share this feeling of relief with the old man. I bought a lot of fruit and wanted to visit him again. To my surprise, I walked around and around, relying on my memory, but I only saw a local Earth Deity temple. I walked inside and saw the statue of the Earth Deity; it looked remarkably like the old man I had met that day. I was so astonished—it turned out the Earth Deity had saved me. I gratefully offered the fruit, and with great emotion, I lit incense and bowed, filled with gratitude.

From that time on, I gained a brand-new life—a life that was entirely my own. I dedicated the rest of my life to community service, giving without complaint or regret to everyone. In the process of giving, I found happiness and hope for life. I never imagined that letting go and changing my mindset could change my entire life.

From Air Particles to the Underworld

I know clearly that if it were not for the appearance of that old man, I would have thrown the country into chaos, and I might have ended up in prison, with my spirit suffering in the hells. To thank the Earth Deity, I offered fruit every month. When I had the financial means, I collaborated with others to expand the temple.

The end of my life was happy and fulfilling. I lived to be sixty-one, and after a strong wind blew, my life faded away. My soul drifted endlessly in the air, becoming air particles, wandering everywhere without a home, just like the experiences of my life. I did not know that my drifting heart left my spirit without a place to rely upon.

As an air particle, I could see many spirits attached to different forms—in animals, in the earth, in the rivers. When I saw these scenes, I was truly astonished; it turned out this was the true reality of life at its end. I could not believe it, yet it was so real. I collided with many other air particles, and I realised that everyone had a different story. Many sighs arose in my heart. Seeing some spirits suffering, I thought, 'If I had the ability, I would certainly help them.' With just this one thought, not long after, my spirit left the space of air particles and arrived before the throne of King Yama.

A Final Redemption

King Yama said, 'Child, you must cherish this. A single thought of Goodness, a willingness to help others, has allowed you to arrive at the court of King Yama to report. Now, I give you an opportunity to serve as a prison guard to help sentient beings. You must do your best.' After hearing King Yama's judgment, I knelt and bowed in gratitude.

While serving as a prison guard, I saw many suffering spirits who had created karma due to their own personalities. Besides taking this as a warning for myself, I also hoped that these suffering spirits could wake up and change. During my duty, I was fortunate enough to hear Practitioner Su giving Dharma talks. Every teaching was an awakening for me. I knew that following the Buddha was the only true ultimate path, and I prayed that I might have this day.

Finally, today, my wish has been fulfilled. Under the guidance of Practitioner Su, I have attained rebirth in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. I am grateful for the Buddha's compassion toward us, and I am grateful to Practitioner Su. Now, Feng Chunli has found his original self in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. Gratitude.

Feng Chunli, kneeling and bowing."