This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Qu Bangren, who sought Spiritual Deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his transition from the human realm to the . Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on October 18, 2024.
Qu Bangren speaks:
". I am Qu Bangren. I am filled with such gratitude to the compassionate Practitioner Su for reaching out and guiding me; I have finally arrived at the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.
I find myself struggling to find the right words to express what I am feeling right now. It is as if I have suddenly lost the ability to speak, overwhelmed by such deep emotion and gratitude that I simply do not know where to begin. Please, everyone, do not laugh at me for my clumsiness."
The Bewildering Transition of Death
"To be completely honest, I was never entirely clear that I had actually died. My spirit felt as though it were in a state of half-sleep, half-wakefulness—a strange, hazy existence where I knew something had happened, yet I did not fully grasp the reality of it. My physical body had long since turned to ash, yet here I was, my spirit still intact. It is truly difficult for people in the world to believe such things, and even now, as I sit here speaking to you, I find it hard to believe myself.
After Practitioner Su rescued me, I spent time listening to the in the Western Dharma-Nature Land. I had never heard such Dharma talks before; it was as if every word struck a chord, instantly me. In the world, I suppose I was considered a man of some ability. I do not know exactly how others perceived me—perhaps some thought well of me, while others did not—but at the very least, my wife thought I was a good man, which is why she was willing to become my wife in the first place.
So many things from my life in the world have become blurred, and for us spirits who no longer possess a physical body, those memories belong to an entirely different existence. Once is gone, the entire world changes. This is a sensation that perhaps only those who have shed their physical form can truly understand; I find it impossible to describe the feeling in words."
Reflections on a Life Once Lived
"While I was listening to Practitioner Su deliver the Dharma, there were moments when my heart became incredibly still—so still that I began to see visions. I saw scenes from my past lives, and I saw scenes from this lifetime. Everything that had happened in the past appeared before me with startling clarity. Looking back at my own history, I was filled with so many emotions, and I felt a profound sense of lament.
People often ask, 'What is the purpose of living?' Most ordinary people have no idea, and I was certainly one of them. I was among those who were completely lost, and it feels as though those decades of my life were simply wasted. When I say this, I know many people will not understand, and they will be puzzled. If my friends and family were to hear me, they would be even more confused as to why I would speak this way.
When I was alive, I worked so hard to study, to secure the job I wanted, and to climb to the position I had dreamed of. That was my achievement; it was what everyone else was chasing. How could I possibly have been confused about what I was doing? To the people of the world—and to the man I was back then—these were indeed my goals, including getting married and building a family. These were the things I wanted, the things I pursued and hoped for. But now? What has become of them?"
The Illusion of Earthly Bonds
"Today, my wife and I have both arrived at the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. We did not plan to come here together; perhaps the Causal Conditions were arranged in such a subtle and clever way that we both felt the desire to reach the Western Pure Land on this very day. Perhaps this is the destiny of our lifetime—to be joined in marriage and then, eventually, to be reborn in the Western Pure Land together.
What I want to say is this: my wife and I had not spoken for such a long time. Ever since we lost our bodies, we had no opportunity to communicate. I passed away, and then she passed away; we went to different places, and neither of us knew where the other was. Strangely, I did not even think to look for her. It seems that once the body is gone, the feeling of being a husband and wife fades away. We were originally two independent spirits who happened to have a connection in this life, which led our 'bodies' to become husband and wife. But our 'spirits' remained independent. It is not the case that because we were married in the body, we remain a married couple after death. That is not how it works. Once our spirits left our bodies, we were simply two spirits with no inherent connection, merely acknowledging the affinity that allowed us to be husband and wife in the world.
Who would have known such a thing? I certainly did not know it while I was alive. I have heard so many lovers make grand vows of eternal love, but now I know that those are all illusions. Once you die, there are no more vows; everyone goes off to face their own . It is absolutely terrifying."
The True Nature of
"So, after Practitioner Su brought my wife and me to the Western Dharma-Nature Land, we did not speak. It was very natural; we simply had no desire to talk, though we were aware of each other's presence. That was all. We did not dwell on the past. If I were not required to speak now, I truly would not mention these things, because they feel so incredibly distant from us.
Returning to what I mentioned earlier—what is the purpose of living? Now that I have lost my body, I have suddenly awakened. If living is only about doing things within the scope of the physical body, then it is truly not worth it. Look at me: I spent my life doing things for my body—studying, marrying, working. My life revolved entirely around myself and my family. And where is my body now? It is gone. Where is my family now? I have left them behind. Which of those things followed me to this point? Nothing. It is all gone.
My heart is so stirred. How could I have been so foolish? I never understood that the body was an illusion. Although everyone knows that people die—that everyone has a day when they must pass—we never stop to think about ourselves after death. We never stop to consider the existence of our own 'spirit'. If we had realised early on that the 'true self' is this spirit, and if we could clearly see how much this spirit suffers, and know where this true self—this spirit—is headed to suffer in the cycle of reincarnated life after the body dies, perhaps we would not have treated this body as if it were real. At the very least, we would not have been so devoted to it, obeying its every whim. It loved this, wanted that, disliked this other thing—I listened to it all, and in the end, I harmed my true self. I gained nothing, and I only accumulated ."
Gratitude and the Path to Deliverance
"I am truly ashamed. I lived for so many years, and yet I only understood these truths after I died. If Practitioner Su had not rescued me, I might not have had such a deep realisation, because I would still be trapped in the space of my own attachments. Look at how ignorant I was.
Now that I see Shuling, I am so happy for her. She truly has great ; she followed the Buddha early on and no longer lives the life of an ordinary person in this world. She is truly intelligent and possesses great Wisdom. I admire her deeply.
This time, both my wife and I must express our gratitude to Shuling. If it were not for her resolve to save us, we would never have had the chance to come to the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss today. I see that Shuling is doing very well in the Buddha-land; she has the Buddha there every day, which is equivalent to living with the Buddha every single day. How many people would envy that!
I know that for modern people, it is not easy to let go of everything and step into the Buddha’s gate, but I must say that this is the only way to save oneself. I lived in the world, and I know very well that the pull of worldly life is incredibly strong. To ask someone to work and practice at the same time, or to care for a family and practice at the same time—that is truly difficult. Often, the pull of life causes one's balance to shift, and most people lean toward the side of worldly life, with practice occupying only a tiny fraction of their time, or perhaps only thinking of chanting Namo Amituofo occasionally.
Therefore, someone like Shuling, who devotes her entire heart to the Buddha’s path, is truly worthy of admiration and envy. I hope that more people can do the same, so that they can save their true selves—the spirit within the body. I thank Shuling once again. I will never forget this kindness, and I believe my wife will also keep it in her heart. We will record it in our Dharma affinity, and I believe we will certainly meet again in the future. We will be waiting for you in the West, and when the time comes, we will surely come to welcome you and repay your kindness.
