The Burden of Cellular Vengeance

This is a record of an interview with Venerable Changgao, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He reflects upon his past as a spirit trapped within the cellular structure of a human body, driven by centuries of vengeance, before finding liberation through the Buddha’s teachings. This testimony was recorded by the disciple Shi Faxin on December 14, 2019.

Venerable Changgao speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Venerable Changgao. I remember the moment I was lifted from the depths, soaring high above the horizon, bathed in that brilliant, transformative light. The agonizing, burning spirit that had been consumed by flames for so long finally vanished. The sacred water of the Buddha washed away the deep scars upon my being. I knew, deep down, that I was a person full of heavy sins; the suffering I endured was only what I deserved. When the King of Hell asked me if I regretted the sins I had committed, I answered with a heart of iron: I did not regret them. Hatred had long ago devoured my entire heart, carving itself deeply into the very memories of my soul.

A History Written in Vengeance

I had been betrayed, framed, and stripped of all dignity. In those moments of profound injury, I was powerless to act, so I swore that life after life, I would follow my tormentor. From the moment that tragedy occurred, my heart was filled with a rage that burned like a wildfire, accompanied by an unbearable, crushing heartache. Twelve lifetimes have passed since that day. For twelve long lifetimes, I watched him coldly as he suffered the consequences of his actions in the cycle of rebirth. Seeing him in such pain, I would burst into hysterical, joyful laughter. That laughter—it was so cruel, so devoid of humanity, that I could hardly recognise myself. It was a heartless, savage smile.

Whenever he seemed to be doing well, I would wait. I would watch closely to see if he would falter. I tortured my own soul just to ensure I was torturing his. The misery he felt in his heart could not be satisfied by any worldly success or outward smoothness. Many times, people around him could not understand why he could not smile, why he seemed so hollow. It was because our collective suffering was anchored upon his physical body, preventing him from ever finding true joy. The pain of the body and the soul—that was my chosen method of revenge. After my vengeance was successful, the lingering hatred dragged me straight into the burning hells.

The Cold Reality of the Fifty Trillion

I was one of the beings residing within the fifty trillion cells of a human body. Every single being within that physical form who is there to seek revenge is just like me. Depending on the degree of their desire for retribution and the specific laws of karma and cause and effect, they fall back into the depths of suffering, harming themselves while trying to harm others. Those who are willing to let go of their grudges are able to move on and be reincarnated. But those who refuse to let go? They are like a surging tide, believing they are the masters of their own revenge, only to be completely swallowed and destroyed by the very waves they created.

Everyone carries these fifty trillion cellular beings within their own bodies. Right now, you might be one of the fifty trillion beings within someone else, and in the future, you will have your own fifty trillion cellular beings to contend with. If you are willing to let go of your hatred today, then in the future, others will be willing to let you go as well. It is a simple, yet profound truth.

The Light of Deliverance

Once you encounter the Buddha’s teachings, the path ahead becomes a vast expanse of light. In that light, there is no hatred—only a profound, unshakable peace. There is no burning fire, only the soft, cooling touch of the lotus. As the Dharma assembly gathers, endless rays of light reach out from the front to lead us home. No matter which realm you currently inhabit—whether you are in the hells, the ghost realm, the realm of the asuras, or if you are one of the cellular beings within a human body—everyone can choose to let go at this very moment. You can achieve the perfection of seeing the Buddha.

Namo Amituofo."