The Burden of Loyalty: A Reflection on the Life of Yu Rang

This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Yu Rang, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Dharma Nature. This account reflects upon his life approximately 2,479 years ago. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faru, on March 31, 2026.

Yu Rang speaks:

"I never expected that after so many years, someone would still remember my existence. Back then, in the State of Jin, the only person who truly valued me and gave me heavy responsibilities was Zhi Bo. His treatment of me was extraordinary. I knew that Zhi Bo had his own deep, far-reaching plans; he hoped to use me to consolidate his position within the State of Jin and eventually unify the entire state. And I was more than willing to give everything I had. As a scholar-warrior, as long as someone was willing to entrust me with important tasks and allow me to utilise my talents, I was ready to serve. In this life, one must always strive to make the most of one's abilities. Although my capabilities were limited, I made good use of them. I considered myself a commander, capable of fighting bravely against the enemy. Regarding the situation in the State of Jin, the six great families—the six ministers of Jin—should have avoided unnecessary internal strife, focusing instead on stabilising their own strength and preventing conflict.

The Ambition of Zhi Bo and the State of Jin

The internal situation in the State of Jin was extremely severe. There was constant backstabbing and secret maneuvering; the various ministers and grandees were not at peace with one another. Everyone was obsessed with swallowing up their rivals to become the supreme hegemon of Jin. Zhi Bo shared this ambition; he hoped to annex all the other ministers and become the new ruler of the State of Jin. I understood his convictions, and I believed that I could help him dominate the state. When he destroyed the Fan and Zhonghang clans, I saw his ambition clearly. At that time, it was indeed only Zhi Bo's faction that had a genuine chance to unify the State of Jin.

I had been buried for too long, drifting anonymously between various families without ever being truly valued. I believed that this time, by following Zhi Bo, I would finally be able to turn my life around. Zhi Bo saw that I shared his ambition; he knew I was willing to help him complete his grand goal of unifying the State of Jin. Because of this, he trusted me deeply and was willing to put me in charge. In the execution of political orders and missions, I demonstrated a ruthless determination. I was a person who would stop at nothing to achieve my goals, even to the point of sacrificing my own life.

A Misguided Sense of Loyalty

However, I did not abandon my moral code; I always adhered to a set of principles. I was a person who clearly distinguished between gratitude and resentment. To those who showed me kindness, I would surely repay them; to those who were my enemies, I would pursue them even to the ends of the earth. This was the 'way of the knight-errant' as I envisioned it, and it was the pursuit that defined my standing among the ministers. Whenever the families clashed, I was always the first to step forward, taking on the most difficult missions. Whether it was leading an attack on the front lines or travelling alone to persuade other families, I was always proactive in providing strategies.

My goal was to serve as a scholar and strategist, doing my utmost to help Zhi Bo and support him in becoming the new ruler of Jin. I never expected that when Zhi Bo demanded land from the three families, they would refuse and eventually unite to destroy him. This was completely unexpected for me. I had never imagined that the three families could unite to oppose Zhi Bo, but looking back, Zhi Bo himself relied too heavily on his military strength and was blinded by his own arrogance. In truth, there was no need to provoke all three families at once; he should have broken them one by one to avoid triggering a joint counterattack. This was surely a result of Zhi Bo's excessive self-confidence, believing that apart from Zhao Xiangzi, no one dared to oppose him or betray him.

The Agony of the Hells

Yet, human hearts are unpredictable. Who could know if today's obedience was genuine or merely a facade? How could one know when the other side would strike back and bite the hand that fed them? As a scholar-warrior, it was my duty to urge Zhi Bo to be more conservative. After all, a tall tree catches the wind; one must adopt a humble, calm, and steady policy to ensure long-term stability and success. However, Zhi Bo was a man of radical change, impatient and driven by quick results. His impatience and forceful approach triggered the joint counterattack of the three families. His most serious miscalculation was believing he could take on three enemies at once. He did not reject their joint attack because he believed they were not to be feared; he thought that when the opportunity was ripe, he could take them all down in one fell swoop.

Little did he know, this was a grave miscalculation. At the time, Zhi Bo did not possess the military strength for such a feat, and the outcome was exactly as the historical records state: Zhi Bo was tragically annihilated, and the Zhi clan disappeared from the State of Jin. Having served Zhi Bo for so long, it was not easy for me to simply defect to the other three families. If I lacked loyalty, how could I be trusted by them? Furthermore, Zhao Xiangzi appeared benevolent, but his inner calculations were sharp and clear; he was no simple man. Based on my years of observation, I was confident in my judgment. It was impossible for me to join the others, and I had lost my purpose in the State of Jin. The only thing I admired was Zhi Bo's generous treatment and trust in me. The only way I could think to avenge the Zhi clan was to eliminate Zhao Xiangzi, the strongest of the three. If he were to fall, the power dynamics in Jin would shift, and perhaps the remnants of the Zhi clan could rise again. As long as Zhao Xiangzi lived, I had no future. 'A scholar dies for the one who truly knows him.' In the State of Jin, the only one who knew me, the only one willing to employ me as a scholar-warrior, was Zhi Bo.

If I had no place in the State of Jin, what was the difference between living and dying? If I could not avenge Zhi Bo, reverse the situation, and help the Zhi clan regain power, then my life was meaningless. The only thing I could do was to trade my life for his. If I succeeded in assassinating Zhao Xiangzi, I would have fulfilled my duty to Zhi Bo. The rest of the story, the final mile of my life, is as everyone knows. I failed repeatedly in my attempts to assassinate Zhao Xiangzi; perhaps it was not his time to die. I thought my disguises were perfect, but somehow, Zhao Xiangzi always sensed my intentions and captured me before I could even touch a hair on his head. I was deeply discouraged. I did not understand—did Heaven ultimately choose Zhao Xiangzi instead of Zhi Bo? Had I truly chosen the wrong side?

When I made my final attempt to assassinate Zhao Xiangzi, I knew my time had come. Looking back on my life, it was truly tragic. I do not know why I was so obsessed with avenging Zhi Bo. Now, it is clear that I was wrong. Such a life had no real meaning; it was not for the sake of the country or the people, but merely a sacrifice of my life for the sake of personal gratitude. Although I left behind a reputation as a 'loyal and righteous man,' for me, having committed suicide, I did not know what would follow. I did not think much of it at the time, believing that once I took my own life, everything would end. I never imagined that I would be trapped in a space, repeatedly committing suicide and enduring the same agony over and over again. It was unimaginable. I felt such deep regret in that space; I never intended to suffer so much. I had wanted to die to prove my loyalty, but instead, I was subjected to endless, unbearable pain. I do not know how long I suffered in that space before I arrived, dazed and confused, before the gates of the Yama King's palace.

Deliverance and the Light of the Buddha

The Yama King recounted my many sins one by one and sentenced me to the hells. I did not understand why, despite my desire to repay a kindness, I had ended up in such a state. As I suffered in the hells, I gradually realised that my entire life had been a mistake from the very beginning. I had thought that helping Zhi Bo unify the State of Jin was correct, but in reality, it had caused countless wars and the deaths of many innocent civilians. These people were my own countrymen; how could there be any justification for such mutual slaughter? I paid the price for these actions. Zhi Bo's destruction by the three families was a result of the laws of karma and cause and effect. My insistence on my own interests and my stubborn attachment to my beliefs, which led me to embark on a path of vengeance—these were not for the sake of the greater good or the people, but purely for personal revenge. They were all selfish and evil thoughts.

Because of this, I suffered in the brain-gouging hell and various other hells of execution. When my sentence in the hells ended, I was left in a state of darkness, unaware of the passage of time. The Yama King simply banished me to the ghost realm, and I became a lonely, helpless spirit wandering the land of China. I did not know where I was, drifting aimlessly, with the lingering pain of my hellish punishments and my suicide still etched into my being. I did not know where to go, wandering through space without a destination. My spirit was dim and unclear; I did not know where I came from or where I was going.

One day, a vast expanse of golden light suddenly shone down. I looked up at this golden light descending from the sky. I did not understand what it was, nor could I think clearly. But the moment the Buddha-light shone upon me, I felt the pain in my body diminish significantly, and my spirit became a little clearer. I believed that this golden light could lead me out of my suffering, so I entered it without hesitation. On the other side of the golden light was a world of brilliant radiance, filled with the sound of the Buddha-name chanting and infinite golden light. Finally, within this light, my body slowly regained its lightness, and the various pains from my punishments gradually faded away.

I slowly regained my senses and remembered who I was. In the Dharma-Nature Land, I tried to understand this time and space, only to realise that this was no longer the world I once knew. I looked back; thousands of years had passed since the State of Jin. Where I am now is not China, but Australia, a place far from China, in a temple. There was no Buddha’s teachings in the State of Jin; it was only after coming here that I began to learn. The Buddha’s teachings are profound; I had never heard of these principles while I was alive. Now, whenever I hear the teachings on saving people, saving the world, delivering sentient beings, and the wisdom of governance shared by the sages in the various interview articles, I feel a deep sense of shame."

Namo Amituofo.

Looking back upon my life, it seems utterly ridiculous; I was like a young child standing before a great sage, completely unaware of the vastness of the world. The disparity between my narrow perspective and the true wisdom of the sages is so immense that I feel small and immature, even less than a child. My ignorance was the very key to my downfall. I did not understand that the welfare of the nation and the people should have been my primary concern; that is the only way to truly honour the status of a scholar-official. I often felt that my minor contributions were enough to make me stand out, to make me someone of importance. Yet, these thoughts were so shallow, and it is only now that I have truly awakened to the truth. Having understood all of this, I am moved to tears of deep sorrow. Even today, I still feel an overwhelming sense of regret and pain.

I do not know how such a precious life could have been squandered on such laughable and misguided actions. At the time, my benefactor, Zhi Bo, was not truly a virtuous minister who cared for the country. His so-called devotion to the nation and the people was merely a facade for his own ambition; he hoped to use his military might to usurp the ruler of the Jin state and become the new sovereign himself. And I, for the sake of his personal ambition, acted as an accomplice to evil, committing deeds that harmed countless people. This fills me with profound regret. To think that I was once proud of him, and even after he was sanctioned, I still harboured the desire to seek revenge on his behalf.

The Endless Cycle of Vengeance

This obsession with revenge ignited a murderous intent, a killing heart, and all manner of calculated, evil thoughts aimed at harming the ministers of the Jin state. These negative thoughts were enough to have me 'registered' for the hells, prepared to suffer the consequences of my actions. After I took my own life, beyond the suffering that awaited me in the hells, I was initially trapped in a space of endless suicide, unable to escape, enduring suffering that knew no bounds.

Following that, in the ghost realm, I existed in a state of dimness and drowsiness. My body had not yet recovered, and I continued in this state for nearly a thousand years. This has truly forced me to reflect deeply on why my beliefs at that time led to such a tragic and miserable end.

Awakening in the Dharma-Nature Land

I am fortunate to have encountered Namo Amituofo and Practitioner Su, who explained the Buddha’s teachings to me, allowing me to finally grasp the vastness of the Dharma. If, at the very beginning when I first met Zhi Bo, I had encountered the Buddha’s teachings and learned to prioritize the nation, to value the people, to cherish peace, and to understand the basic principles of the Dharma, I would never have fallen into such a wretched state. However, no amount of repenting can change what has already occurred. Here in the Dharma-Nature Land, I sit quietly, listening to the Buddha’s teachings, watching the immeasurable and boundless Dharma Body of Practitioner Su as it permeates the endless spaces of China, saving countless ghost realm beings and guiding them into the Western Land of Dharma Nature.

I also understand now that it was only through the Chao Du performed by Practitioner Su that I had the opportunity to escape from the ghost realm. It is only now that I truly understand the Buddha’s teachings, and I no longer cling to my original, erroneous concepts and views. As I look back upon the past from the Dharma-Nature Land, I am shocked to discover that, in the China of that time—specifically within the state of Jin—none of the ministers were truly in control of themselves. The situation where they were controlled by the beings within their own bodies and by demon crowds was extremely severe, which is why there was so much infighting and mutual destruction.

The Hidden Hand of the Demon Crowds

As for Zhi Bo, who wanted to swallow up the three families and become the hegemon of Jin, his demon nature and ambition were beyond measure; he was controlled to an extreme degree. This was all part of the situation triggered by the demon crowds, who wished to create chaos and cause death and injury to the people.

At the time, when I cooperated with Zhi Bo, I too was being controlled by the demon crowds. Even my final act—which I believed to be a loyal act of revenge and an attempt to assassinate Zhao Xiangzi—culminated in my own suicide by the blade. In truth, throughout the entire process, it was no longer something I could control myself. My entire being was filled with karmic creditors and demon crowds who controlled me. They wanted me to perish early, to commit suicide early, and to enter that space of suicide; they also wanted me to commit immeasurable and boundless sins, so that I would ultimately pay a terrible price. And they certainly succeeded.

A Vow of True Repentance

Watching all of this from the Dharma-Nature Land, I am at a loss for words. I truly could not control any of it. My helplessness is beyond description, beyond what words can convey. I can only offer my sincere repenting. This must be because I have harmed too many people in my past lives, which is why, when I appeared in the world in this lifetime, I committed such outrageous errors.

Now, having encountered the Buddhist education of Namo Amituofo, I have been given a new opportunity to learn the true Buddha’s teachings. I sincerely vow to change my ways, and I hope never to commit the same errors again. I am grateful to Namo Amituofo and Practitioner Su for giving me the chance to know the true Buddha’s teachings. Although I was unable to learn the Buddha’s teachings at that time, I hope to truly learn them now. I vow to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, to truly attain Buddhahood, and to never again harm immeasurable and boundless beings. This is my sincere repenting. Gratitude to Namo Amituofo, gratitude to Practitioner Su.

Namo Amituofo.

Yu Rang