The Final Curtain and the Light of Namo Amituofo

This interview was recorded on August 25, 2023, at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. It features the spirit of the late international superstar CoCo Lee, who sought deliverance after her passing. Through the compassionate guidance of Practitioner Su and the merit of the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre, she was saved from the cycle of suffering and successfully reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss.

CoCo Lee speaks:

"Greetings, everyone. I am CoCo Lee." In the past, whenever I stood on stage and said those words, you would respond with the loudest cheers, giving me confidence and encouragement. I am deeply moved, and I miss all of my fans so very much.

There were many people who helped me along this journey. It was your collective strength, wave after wave, that allowed me to persist. When the trials of life appeared, I received encouragement from all directions. Your support touched me deeply, and I tried to follow that strength to stand tall. But every time I was about to succeed, another trial would strike me back down into the abyss.

The Burden of a Warrior

Many times, I wondered why I had to experience so many trials from such a young age. Was this the only way to forge a resilient heart? I chose to present myself on stage in the way I loved, to bring joy to everyone. As long as I could make you happy, no matter how exhausting the practice was, I felt it was worth it.

I often spoke to my inner self because I did not want to disappoint those who loved me. But the trials of life came in waves. In the end, I did not survive the most severe test. I left those who loved me, and I left the fans who supported me. My heart was shattered, and I left myself no chance to turn back. I know that by doing this, I caused many people sorrow, and for that, I can only say: "I am so sorry!"

A New Beginning in the Western Pure Land

Compared to the past, I am now in a place of immense light. I can feel the peace and freedom from worry here. I am dressed in white, returned to the version of myself that I love. My heart has opened, and my body and feet no longer ache. From birth until now, I have never felt this light. Even my heart is now filled with light; I have returned to being the truly sunny and radiant CoCo Lee.

The place where I am now is called the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. Many people may not yet understand what this place is, but I can tell you: this is the land of Namo Amituofo. I know that it was a kind-hearted lady from Taiwan, Ms. Li Junhui, who helped me with Chao Du, which allowed me to be liberated. Practitioner Su brought my spirit back from before the gates of the King of Hell. At that time, I was kneeling before the King of Hell, surrounded by many karmic creditors. They were all blaming me and accusing me. I was helpless, and I kept apologizing to them, but they would not forgive me—until I was led to a place of light. They told me this place was called the Western Land of Dharma Nature. They said to me, "You are so fortunate to be brought here."

Discovering the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre

After arriving here, it took me a long time to adapt to the environment. This is a wonderful place, and I hope that one day, you all may come here too. The atmosphere is so quiet, which allowed my heart to gradually settle, and my whole being to slowly relax and become clear. In my confusion, I saw glowing characters that read "Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre," and only then did I realize I had come to a Buddhist temple. I looked at everyone here with a heart of reverence. What an extraordinary temple this is! I thought to myself: "Why did no one know about such a wonderful place before?" I believe that now, you can find this place online. It is truly magnificent, even more serene and tranquil than any famous holiday resort.

I once thought about walking this path of practice myself, but my inner desires were too heavy. I could not let go of my performing career, nor could I release the entanglements of my heart regarding relationships. My heart often ached. If I had known about this place earlier, I certainly would not have chosen to leave everyone in that way. I am sorry! I set the worst possible example for everyone. Please, you must cherish your lives. There are so many beautiful things in life; never, ever follow my path of using avoidance to solve problems." (She covers her face and weeps.)

The Mask of the Warrior

My whole life, I acted as a strong and brave warrior, but in the end, I was truly exhausted, so I chose to be a warrior who hides away. If life could be lived over again, I would not want to be a warrior. I would still be strong and brave, but I would learn to show my inner vulnerability. I would not put on armor all by myself; I would learn to adjust and seek positive ways to cope, rather than binding myself in darkness for the sake of the body's sensations.

My life seemed to be a constant chase in a battlefield. I wanted to face the sun, but I always felt that the light was moving further and further away. I often told myself that I must show a sunny and warm side to everyone, but I could not escape the shadows within my own heart.

My heart often felt as if it were being torn apart. Sometimes this pain made me feel so sad. In front of people, I was so bright and glamorous, but once I left the stage, it was like taking off my armor—my heart became incredibly fragile. I was terrified that people would not like this version of me, and I worried that I would not be able to go on. I never expected that my fears would eventually come true.

The Weight of Hidden Pain

It is truly exhausting to hide so many negative feelings in one's heart. I can now empathize with those who, in the end, cannot overcome their struggles and choose to walk toward a dead end. They are just like me, caught in a dark vortex, unable to pull themselves out. Even if they want to call for help, they do not know who to tell. They can only try their best to disguise themselves, hiding their true selves and showing only the gentlest, warmest side. But I often felt that this version of myself was so strange, as if I did not even recognize who I was anymore.

I had lost myself; I had lost my true heart. When I encountered repeated betrayals in life—friendship, family, and love constantly testing me—I eventually chose not to feel anymore. I only wanted to seal myself off and be a "packaged" version of myself. At least that way, I could choose a quiet place to heal without letting everyone see this imperfect me in front of the cameras. I have my pride, and I have a bottom line I want to protect. As long as I do not truly reveal myself, I believed no one could truly strike me down. Even for the person I once loved, I found it hard to let go, which caused me to repeatedly fall from pain and then stand up again.

My suffering may not count for much in this world, but I was not as strong as I imagined. I spent my life in heaviness. I had physical disabilities from a young age, which caused me to suffer more than others during my growth. But I never complained, and I never let anyone discover my endurance. That was me—the resilient CoCo Lee.

The Final Choice

The person others saw was indeed the version of me I had worked so hard to maintain. When I was happy, it was because I had everyone's company, and because I was doing what I dreamed of. Standing on that stage allowed me to forget my worries and be a truly happy person who loved to sing for others. But that stage could not extend into my life. No matter how good the performance, there is always a time when the curtain falls. After taking off the costume and removing the heavy makeup, I became the self I dared not face. I had lived like that for many autumns and winters.

"Facing the end of my life, I was not surprised, because this was the final choice after much accumulation. When I left, I felt pain, but I am willing to believe that this will be a liberation." These were my final thoughts before I left.

The Darkness and the Rescue

After I truly left, what I saw was a vast darkness. There were so many people pulling at my heart and my body. I screamed in terror, but I was surrounded and could not escape. My heart was truly terrified. Each of them said I owed them something, and I did not know how to repay them. I felt anxious and wanted to call for help. I do not know how long that state lasted, but I heard someone in the human world calling my name. In an instant, I arrived in a different world. I let out a sigh of relief, but before I could see clearly, I was brought to the Western Land of Dharma Nature. This is a very beautiful, solemn, and serious place. The purifying magnetic field here moved me deeply and gradually smoothed out my anxious and chaotic heart.

It was only later that I realized where this was—a place where the true Buddha resides. For a period, I was still in a state of confusion; all my thoughts and feelings surged up, disturbing me so I could not be clear-headed. I was in great pain, but fortunately, there was this place to help me slowly let go, bit by bit, and slowly become relaxed. Throughout the process, I kept hearing the music of the Buddha-name, and the Dharma-voice of Practitioner Su's lectures flowed in. After listening, I gradually became clear-headed and began to deeply reflect on my life.

Awakening to the Truth

Just yesterday, I suddenly awakened. I saw myself throughout my many lives; I saw many past cause-and-effect relationships. I burst into tears and cried for a long time. I had never lost my composure like that before, but at that moment, I just wanted to let myself go. I wanted to vent; all the shouting, crying, and screaming were not enough to express my emotions at that time. My heart was like a storm, difficult to calm. In the end, it was the power of the Buddha-name that pulled me back. Only then did I realize that "serenity" is the greatest power one can possess.

Also yesterday, a Venerable with miraculous power had his voice reach my ears. He asked me, "CoCo, do you want to go to the West?" My immediate reaction was, "Yes, I am willing to go." So I began to prepare my heart, preparing to welcome a brand-new, reborn self. It was because of this experience that I truly realized that this place is the true Pure Land, because the Venerables here are different from the Buddhist masters I had encountered in the past. I am very grateful that I have the blessings and karmic affinity to come here, and I have begun to cherish this rare opportunity. I am very much looking forward to my brand-new self in the future.

A Solitary Departure

On the day I was reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, there was no one from this world whom I cared about accompanying me. None of the people who had been close to me came to the scene. I was all alone! Standing beside me were others who were also to be reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss that day, and standing far away in the distance was a vast crowd of my karmic creditors.

I suddenly realized that my past was nothing more than a dream. Now that the dream has awakened, nothing exists at all. The only thing is facing life and death all by myself. No one will truly know where I went; it is truly all by myself.

The CoCo Lee of the past is long gone.

The glory of a lifetime has long become a passing cloud.

Before long, no one will remember...

Who is CoCo Lee?

A Message to the World

How many people will be willing to believe this message from CoCo Lee today? I also want to know who would be willing to believe it, but I also understand that perhaps no one will know I am here, and they will not come to verify it, because after my departure, the only thing left that attracts people is my wealth.

Now I have truly seen through it all. My attire is simple, and my face carries no makeup. I have truly returned to being my authentic self. My expression is truly peaceful, and there are no ripples in my heart. I have seen this world clearly enough; I have no more attachments. Now I only want to follow the Buddha with one heart, seeking the true Pure Land in my heart, and taking refuge in Namo Amituofo with my whole being.

After finally arriving in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, my whole body became so light. I walked back and forth on the golden ground of the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. My feet were no longer inconvenienced, and I happily ran around. I returned to being a young, carefree little girl. This is the happy version of me sealed in my memory, without the disturbances of the world. What I see before me is only a truly happy world. I watch the scenery along the way constantly changing, and whatever I think of in my heart, it seems I can manifest. At this moment, I am truly happy. So this is the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, a place that can make one forget all worries, where there is no suffering of reincarnation, only the realm of ultimate bliss.

I have become the simplest version of myself, and the happiest version of myself.

Everyone does not need to worry about me anymore; I am truly doing very well now. I have no past; now there is only the purity before my eyes. Those of you who want to see me can come; I am right here waiting for everyone.

The Vow to Save the World

I cannot believe what I see before my eyes. I keep wanting to confirm if I am really that lucky. After trying several times, I realized that this time it is real; I am truly inside the Buddha-land. Seeing such a large Buddha before me, I suddenly felt a desire to cry. It was a feeling suppressed deep in my chest, much like something I had thought about and longed for for a long time but had not yet completed. This feeling completely enveloped me, making me deeply want to discover the reason.

The scene before me is so clear. I am kneeling before the Buddha, and I see my past lives once again. They played out like a movie. I saw the CoCo of the past, and I also saw that I was once an eminent monk. Seeing this, I burst into tears. I know that I lost my true heart in reincarnation and missed every opportunity for achievement. I repented deeply until the Buddha reached out His hands to embrace me. The Buddha compassionately said to me, "Child, it is good that you have returned." Hearing this, I cried even more uncontrollably. My heart truly ached, but I told myself that this time I must truly wake up. I want to send this message of mine to every place so that everyone can see it.

"This is the CoCo Lee you are familiar with. I have now been reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, and I want everyone to come here to find me."

I saw the past me standing on a high platform in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss because I saw that the future world would be filled with unrest and war. I saw many flames—whether it was the burning of artillery fire, the killing of lives, or the raging fires of evil in the heart—making the entire space filled with a violent magnetic field. This scene of great fire burning kept playing out before my eyes. I knew that once such a situation occurred, it would only intensify. This made me very anxious. Seeing the scenes that followed, the Earth would even undergo great mutations. Each mutation would sacrifice many people. Among them were my former benefactors, teachers, fellow practitioners, parents, and those with karmic affinity who were still in the midst of it. I could see where they were; they were scattered everywhere, suffering all kinds of pain.

My heart was extremely uncomfortable. I could not bear to see everyone suffering, so tens of thousands of years ago, I made a decision: to descend from the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss to the human world and vow to save the world and deliver beings.

The Journey of Deliverance

At that time, I was tall and upright. I knelt before the Buddha and petitioned Him. The Buddha smiled compassionately at me and said, "Child, your heart of compassion has arisen. Go and fulfill your great vow!" I nodded, thanked the Buddha for His grace, and in the blink of an eye, I was reincarnated into the human world and began my journey of saving the world.

Due to the arrangements of fate, I entered the body of a little boy. At that time, this little boy was already very ill and on the verge of death; but after I injected powerful energy, I changed the fate of this body. The original soul of the little boy had already left, and I took his place. Originally, the little boy had stopped breathing, and his family was prepared to handle his body, but at the critical moment, the little boy miraculously woke up. His mother happily picked him up and cried with emotion, not knowing that the little boy at this moment was no longer the original him, but me, who had come by reincarnation.

After my soul entered the little boy's body, I needed a period of time to adapt to the new environment. My soul was constantly surrounded by the sentient beings with karmic affinity who originally belonged to this body. They were hostile toward me, thinking that I should not have let this body be reborn, so they tried to attack me. Despite this, I never wavered, focusing on what I had to do, which was to help this world.

Wave after wave of beings kept rushing toward me. As a newly arrived soul, my light still came from the West, and I held a firm vow to help beings. Therefore, even though the beings with karmic affinity originally belonging to the body kept attacking and interfering with me, I overcame and broke through them one by one. This process was extremely difficult, just like a body having to experience countless trials and hardships. Sometimes I suffered the burning of fire, sometimes it felt like being drilled by ten thousand insects, and sometimes I was blown by violent winds. All kinds of trials followed one after another, but I bravely endured them all, and my soul gradually merged into this body.

I began to guide this body, cultivating the skills and abilities it needed. My soul, inside the little boy's body, brought him positive changes. Since his recovery, he had shown tremendous progress.

The Awakening of Compassion

One day, I followed my mother to the market, and the scene before me deeply shocked me. At the market, I saw several stalls displaying freshly slaughtered, bloody meat. The souls of those animals were filled with pain and torment. There were also people who kept whipping donkeys, forcing them to carry heavy loads. I saw the donkeys wailing incessantly, their eyes filled with despair and tears. The market was filled with the shouting of vendors soliciting customers. All of this was something people had to do for a living. The scenes in the market struck my heart one after another, making me feel deep heartache.

I began to wonder: must everyone's life be so difficult? Is there a chance for change? The scenes at the market touched my heart and made me want to find the possibility of change. All of this was deeply imprinted in my heart.

From that time on, I rarely smiled. My family saw my state and worried about me. They kept asking me what had happened. My heart had no answer; I just thought to myself: the family before me is just like the people in the market, living in this world without knowing the hardship. They have forgotten that they are still in reincarnation, lost within it, and I am powerless to help them wake up. This scene made me feel uncomfortable.

I became more reticent. My family kept trying to help me out of my predicament, but they could not seem to find a solution. However, a coincidence of fate changed the trajectory of my life. I traveled with a distant relative and passed by a temple. The atmosphere of peace and harmony there deeply attracted me. I could not help but walk toward the temple and bow down to the Buddha statue in the main hall. Although I had never been taught how to properly bow to a Buddha statue, it all felt so natural.

In the temple, I walked around once, and suddenly a light flashed in my heart. I understood; I had found the answer I was seeking. I wanted to stay here. My reaction frightened my distant relative, who asked me to return home and think about it again. However, at the moment he said this, I saw a shadow emerge before me, as if telling me that they were waiting for me. I knew that going home would be a huge obstacle. The appearance of the shadow made me realize that they wanted to control me and make me go back. Facing this situation, I became more determined not to go back and asked my relative to inform my parents on my behalf. I knelt before the Buddha as if saying goodbye to my parents and to my past self. My distant relative looked at my determined eyes and knew they could no longer change my decision, so they chose to leave and take the news back home.

The Path of Practice

Every day in the temple, I began to practice diligently according to the Master's arrangements. The Master could perceive my needs and state of mind, and he also saw the personality traits I had formed due to the interference of karmic creditors. To help me, the Master was very strict with me, just like a strict father, constantly paying attention to my every move, including eating, walking, folding quilts, speech, and even my inner thoughts. Whenever I made a mistake, he punished me severely without mercy, never softening his heart. The Master's strict treatment made even my fellow practitioners feel sympathy for me. But from the first day I entered the temple, I decided to hone myself. Although I felt very difficult many times, I tried not to let myself feel frustrated and tried to accept every learning opportunity. Precisely because the Master was so strict, I was able to constantly break through myself every day.

Decades later, the Master passed away peacefully while chanting the Buddha-name and was reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. At that time, the entire temple was filled with a faint fragrance, making the other disciples take the Master as a model for practice. After the Master passed away, because I had always been dedicated to the Buddha's teachings, my fellow practitioners elected me to be the new abbot of the temple. I was forty-two years old at the time and humbly accepted this responsibility, hoping to have more opportunities to help more beings.

After taking over as abbot, I began to lecture on the scriptures and spread the Buddha's teachings. Over the years, I gradually realized human nature and what they truly needed. By meeting their needs, I opened their hearts, allowing them to benefit from learning Buddhism in their lives. For this reason, I accumulated more and more followers. The temple was also expanded because of those who made vows, in order to attract more followers. Tens of thousands of followers spread the Buddha's teachings to further places, which made me feel very satisfied.

Although I spent most of my time lecturing and handling temple affairs, I still insisted on my inner practice, because this was what the Master had always reminded me of. The Master's teachings were very beneficial. Many times I would reflect on myself, which made my practice very fulfilling.

When I was forty-eight, I faced competition among the fellow practitioners in the temple. It turned out that two factions had long been waiting for an opportunity to strengthen themselves and become the successor of the temple. I tried hard to maintain the stability of the temple and helped the temple overcome the predicament.

Throughout my life, I devoted myself entirely to the Buddha's teachings. Besides lecturing, I always taught everyone to chant the Buddha-name. I always kept the Buddha-name "Namo Amituofo" in mind and sang it with joy.

The Blind Spots of Practice

I had many disciples who often came to ask me for advice, but I gradually discovered that the self-concepts held by some disciples were difficult to eliminate. Although they were talented, they could not face their own inner problems. Not just one, but every disciple had their own difficulties, which made me worry, fearing that these disciples I had personally trained would mislead beings because of these personality traits. This problem lingered in my heart and could not be solved.

Until the moment I passed away, I seemed to see my Master coming to welcome me, but the Master's expression seemed a bit displeased. He asked me why I had not taught my disciples well. I saw the Master finish speaking angrily and prepare to turn and leave. My heart fluctuated greatly. I wanted to explain, but I could not answer. Seeing the Master's face, I felt nervous. I was caught in the scene of the Master's teachings when suddenly a golden light appeared before my eyes, and I entered the Thirteenth Heaven, becoming a tree spirit.

That was my wish to cultivate seedlings for the Buddha's teachings. My whole life, I also wanted to become a great tree to benefit future generations. Because of a single thought, my heart fluctuated, and I could not be reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. After I descended from the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss in this lifetime, my character was no longer as pure as it was initially. There was a bit more impurity in my heart, which made me start to enter reincarnation. Even though my Buddha-nature still existed, the external dust gradually increased and thickened, and I gradually forgot the Buddha-nature within my heart.

I did not realize that I had begun to develop subtle emotional entanglements. I did not know that I had not let go of the teacher-disciple relationship with my Master, which became the beginning of my entry into reincarnation. I was completely unaware of the blind spots in my practice.

The Cycle of Retribution

Three hundred years after being a tree spirit, I was reincarnated into the human world again, becoming a tall and talented man. I was happy to help others. Many people had a good impression of me. At that time, many matchmakers wanted to introduce girls to me, but I had no great interest. Until one day, I accidentally fell into the water, and a woman cleverly threw a large piece of wood to save my life. At that time, I saw the woman's beautiful face and delicate makeup, which made my heart flutter. Since then, I fell into a web of love from which I could not extricate myself, and I could never turn back. I fell in love with this clever and beautiful woman.

From that day on, I would inadvertently think of that woman's appearance. I tried hard to forget, but in the end, I could not help but think of her. I decided I wanted to find her. When I spent a lot of time finding her, she was already seriously ill, and not long after, the news of her death spread. My heart was so sad, and I often thought of her appearance. In that lifetime, I did not feel for any other woman. My whole life was only thinking of this woman until I died of old age. I left with regrets, but the emotional thoughts in my heart had already deeply covered my soul consciousness.

In my next life, I was born in a village. The people in the village were very good at hunting, and I also trained in excellent martial arts, becoming a hunter. In that lifetime, I harmed many animals, and because of the animal spirits loaded on my body, my temperament became very irritable, and I would get angry very easily. Later, I fell seriously ill. I was entangled and demanded by many animal spirits, and the pain was indescribable. I entered a painful space. Because I harmed too many animals, I entered hell to suffer retribution, being cut by knives and amputated. My screams for help could not stop my punishment. During the remaining years of my illness, I lived in pain. After death, I was also taken to hell to be punished until my karmic retribution was fulfilled.

In the next life, I was reincarnated as a wolf dog. My temperament was equally irritable. I would help my master drive livestock and had a fierce animal nature. When I became a wolf dog in that lifetime, my movements were agile, and my actions were fast, ruthless, and accurate. Besides helping my master drive the livestock raised on the farm, I would also sneak into the forest when I was hungry to catch small animals to eat, tearing their muscles. Every weak animal died in pain under my mouth. Each time, I would first aim at one of the small animal's legs and bite it fiercely, making them unable to walk or escape, and then I could slowly enjoy the delicious meal.

This karmic debt also led to the inconvenience of my legs and feet in this life, which were often painful and unbearable. The laws of karma and cause and effect truly exist within each of us. Those scenes of the past happened every day. Now I see the past space-time, looking fierce and full of blood, which makes me afraid. Only then did I know why my feet suffered so much in this life. It turns out I hurt so many animals, and the pain they suffered was more bitter than mine. I could not help but cry, and my heart was truly sad.

The Final Reincarnation as CoCo Lee

The cultivation of personality over several lifetimes and the growth of emotional thoughts made me a fierce bandit, robbing everywhere and forcibly seizing women. Once, I broke into a private house and saw that the woman in the house was quite beautiful. I killed her husband, abandoned her two children, and forcibly took her away, locking her up with other women I had robbed. Strangely enough, I particularly liked her. Later, I found out that she was the woman who had once saved me and whom I had been looking for all along. The emotional ties gave me a special feeling for her. I wanted to be with her forever. But because she hated me—hated me for hurting her family—on the night we were to be married, she snatched the knife from me and slashed her neck hard, dying before my eyes. My heart ached, and at the same time, I was very angry, not understanding why she treated me so cruelly when I was so good to her. I did not think of my own faults at all. For this reason, my thoughts became more biased, and I hurt more women to vent my anger.

From that time on, her soul followed me to take revenge. After I died in that lifetime, I went to hell and suffered the torments of hell. Countless women accused me of my crimes. In the end, I suffered punishment for many years before being reincarnated again, but this time I was reincarnated as a woman, and her name was CoCo Lee—this lifetime of mine.

The various karmic affinities of the past have gathered until now. My soul, because of various karmic affinities, finally arrived in this body of CoCo Lee.

A Life of Striving

In this life, I worked hard to grow and wanted to show my vitality. I do not regret entering the entertainment industry. In my performing career, I shone and radiated heat. I received a vast response from my fans, who have always been the greatest motivation supporting me and letting me go on.

I never thought about whether this was right or wrong; I only determined that this was my dream in this life, and it never wavered. Until now, I truly saw my past and present lives. I think I really did something wrong. My many lives were all moving in the wrong direction. I completely lost the Buddha-heart I had when I first descended from the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, completely polluted in this red-dust world, and completely forgot the great vow I once made to save countless suffering beings. Speaking of this, I shed tears, uncontrollably and continuously. I asked myself: "What on earth have I been doing?"

When I first entered the entertainment industry, every day was a test, not only a test for the body, but also the feet that could bring severe pain at any moment. The inner test was also not small, because I was not sure if I would succeed on this path, but I persisted in moving forward because I firmly believed that doing the right thing and pursuing the career I loved was worth it. This personality trait was not only what I learned from my mother, but also the persistence I had cultivated over many lifetimes.

Along the way, I experienced all kinds of hardships. I worked hard to shine and radiate heat. My only belief was that I wanted to win a breath for myself and also wanted to give my mother a better life. Just like that, relying on a few beliefs, I endured many trials.

Every time I went on stage, that sense of nervousness was something I would have no matter how long I prepared. At that moment, I would use various methods to encourage myself. There were also seniors, several brothers and sisters, who encouraged me, and I kept their encouragement in my heart. They were my models and became the direction I was always striving for. In them, I saw the spirit of professionalism, and I sincerely admired them.

Later, I released personal albums and sang for movies and television dramas. For every work, I was very dedicated, investing a lot of effort and soul into it, hoping to bring everyone satisfactory works and moving experiences. Through my efforts time and time again, I stood on the Oscar stage. I am very grateful for everyone's recognition of me. In fact, my whole body was trembling at the time, but no one knew. The audience shouted "CoCo, I love you" in unison, which gave me the courage to gather all my strength, and my heart was very excited and grateful. It has always been the support of my family and the vast number of fans that I could reach this height today. I made a wish, hoping that I could work hard to continue moving forward and create more good works to share with everyone.

The Price of Success

For my life, I worked very hard. Besides the foot problem I brought from birth, there were also some problems with my voice later. At that time, I was a bit alert and realized that I could not be too competitive anymore. Perhaps being a little more relaxed would allow me to walk a longer path.

Behind these achievements of mine, I actually paid a great price. In order to have a good figure on stage, I controlled my diet. Sometimes for a concert, I would hardly eat anything for a week. During gatherings, I could hardly eat the dishes on the table, whether they were oily or high-protein; I could only eat blanched, tasteless vegetables. Many times, the people around me would feel sorry for me, but I would always smile and optimistically tell them that I was already very happy like this.

I worked very hard in my career, but many times I would still encounter the dark side of the entertainment industry. When I heard that a female artist was being harassed by a producer, I stood up without hesitation and wanted to find that producer to reason with him. I thought everyone was just working; why couldn't it be proper and upright? Why use the body for trading? This way of operating made me feel angry. I scolded him for not being worthy of being a producer. At that time, the producer was scolded by me until he was disgraced and had nothing to say; but later, he used his connections to delete several events I was supposed to attend. The reason for kicking me out was that I was acting like a big star and had a bad temper, and he advised those who were looking for me not to look for me. When several events were canceled, I knew it was that producer playing tricks, and I accepted it. At least I helped speak up for women.

I did not let many people know about this matter. The reason I mention it here is that I believe everyone who comes to the entertainment industry has their own dreams and the charm and moving experiences they want to bring to the audience. Everyone follows their own efforts to walk their own path. This is a stage path to realize dreams. As someone in the entertainment industry, I dare not say I am a senior, but I really want to help those who want to fulfill their dreams. Many of them love music and dancing just like me. I want to support them and help them complete what they want to complete. I sincerely hope that the entertainment industry can be a relationship of mutual help, not just competition.

The Illusion of Love

At that time, I was in the period of career development when I met my husband, Bruce. His gentlemanly manner and speech deeply attracted me. We fell in love at first sight, but his marital status made me hesitate. I kept telling myself that I could not be the "third party" in someone else's family, but matters of the heart are often uncontrollable. The strong exchange of signals made me choose to be with him anyway. People around me once told me to think it over carefully, but love is always blind. At that moment, I determined that this was what I wanted. In the end, I still decided to enter into marriage with Bruce.

After marriage, I thought I had found a reliance and worked hard to adapt to a brand-new married life. Bruce was very good to me, allowing me to continue taking care of my family without any worries; but in life, the most direct thing I had to face was getting along with Bruce's two daughters. I knew they still had hostility and guard against me, and their hearts could not open up to accept me. I am very sorry. I could fully understand their feelings. Standing from their perspective, I would likely have had the same reaction, so I tried my best to be good to them and thought of them during every holiday. I worked hard for a long time before I gradually eased the relationship between us.

After marriage, I changed into different roles and had to work hard to manage and maintain both life and work. Many times it was not so smooth. I needed to calm down, take a deep breath, and adjust my emotions and stress, but I often felt very tired when I was alone.

For a period of time, I began to shed tears involuntarily in a room. When I walked near that room and sat on the chair, a sense of sadness would well up in my heart, and even I did not know why this was happening. It was not until now that I saw that it was the women I had hurt in the past who were constantly surrounding me, trying to take revenge in various ways, and I was stepping into their trap of revenge step by step.

The Final Darkness

In reality, I did not know this yet; I was just walking into it step by step. I invested deeper feelings, wanting to make the home I built with Bruce complete. I also tried to have children with him, but it never came to fruition. I also saw Bruce's tolerance for me and his care for my family. Just when I felt I could not leave him, news of his intimacy with other women spread. When I recalled his behavior and the feelings he radiated during this time, I knew it was all true. This was a huge blow to me. I felt as if a huge stone had smashed into my head, making me feel as if I were bleeding from the head.

The first time, Bruce explained to me, and I chose to forgive him, wanting to repair our relationship with him. Because I truly wanted to have a complete home and be a happy woman, I carefully picked up this relationship again.

But no matter how careful I was, he betrayed me again and again, which completely dismantled the castle I had worked so hard to build. My heart was so painful, as if the fear of the end of the world was sweeping toward me. I was powerless to parry and could only hold on, trying hard to squeeze out a smile. I had deep despair in my heart and did not know who to cry to. I even had evil thoughts, wanting to hurt people; but another force of goodness blocked me. I saw that it was my fellow practitioners from the past who were with me, helping me maintain a good heart, but they could help me for a while, yet could not stop the powerful dark force in my heart. In the end, this dark force swallowed my life.

A Final Word to the World

I was so foolish! But when one is deeply trapped in it, it is truly difficult to wake up, and one will take all of this as real. Having walked through it once, I truly understand the bitterness and sweetness; only I know it best. I hope my own story can move you. Please, never let anyone do foolish things like I did. This cannot solve problems; instead, it will cause more pain, and even cause the people around you to suffer together.

"We must all be wise people." This is the final advice I want to give everyone. There is no difficulty in the world that cannot be overcome. Believe me, you will eventually find the answer.

I learned a lot at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. They told me, "As long as the heart is turned, the thoughts are changed, and the body is let go, in fact, nothing is the matter." This is truly effective, and I hope you can all try it.

Thank you to all of you who have cherished me, loved me, and supported me along this journey.

Gratitude for the positive energy that helped me stand up again on this final stretch of the road.

Gratitude to Ms. Li Junhui for helping with the Chao Du.

Gratitude to Practitioner Su, and gratitude to every compassionate Venerable.

Gratitude to the very compassionate Namo Amituofo.

I am leaving...

I am CoCo Lee. I am in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. I look forward to meeting you all here again. Thank you, all of you whom I will forever cherish.

CoCo Lee, with palms joined.