The Fragility of a Vow: A Prison Guard's Redemption

This is a record of an interview with Shi Qiufeng, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his time as a prison guard in the hell realms. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxin, on August 2, 2024.

Shi Qiufeng speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. The golden, magnificent Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss is right before my eyes. I am trembling with joy, so deeply grateful for the compassion of the Buddha and for Practitioner Su. Returning to the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss is truly a return to my original true self, and I feel filled with boundless energy. Seeing the infinite expanse of this Pure Land, I can finally perceive the immeasurable mind-capacity of the Buddha. Today, all sixty of us prison guards, along with immeasurable and boundless beings, offer our deepest gratitude to the Buddha.

I am Shi Qiufeng. Throughout my life, I was always in pursuit of the Truth. I searched everywhere, constantly asking myself: What is the true meaning of my existence in this world? Where is the place I am truly meant to be?

A Childhood Haunted by Questions

From a very young age, these questions would spontaneously arise within my mind. I would ask my parents what I should do, but they could not answer me; they only felt that I was a particularly strange child. Beyond these questions, a voice of rebellion would often manifest within my heart. It kept telling me that my life was hopeless, that no one could help me, and that no one could ever understand me.

When this inner voice remained unresolved, thoughts of ending my own life would arise. I was terrified by these thoughts, even at the age of eleven. My heart was constantly crying out for help, desperate to grasp even a single ray of light that could save me. Finally, at the age of sixteen, a neighbour introduced the Buddha’s teachings to my mother. Holding onto a sliver of hope, she brought me to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre.

The Nightmare of Past Lives

The moment I stepped into the temple, a powerful force of resistance surged within me, urging me to leave immediately. It was a dark energy deep inside my heart, churning through my thoughts and my very body, desperate to prevent me from being saved. This complex sensation forced me to endure and fight against it constantly. I begged my mother to let me stay overnight at the temple, and seeing the determination in my eyes, she agreed.

That night, I found it difficult to sleep. When I finally drifted off, it felt as though I had been transported to another space. I found myself on a battlefield, the atmosphere thick with a murderous aura that felt incredibly oppressive. Before long, the sound of drums echoed, and two armies clashed. I was galloping on horseback, brandishing a large blade, charging forward. In a short time, the enemy soldiers were all cut down by my swift blade. After the battle, the ground was littered with corpses, yet I was laughing—laughing at the victory I had won.

Soon after, the spirits of those dead soldiers all rose up and surrounded me. I kept shouting, 'Do not come near me! Do not come near me!' But they continued to close in, and I woke up drenched in sweat. When I awoke, I could not help but weep bitterly. I repented for having killed so many people and for carrying the weight of so many lives. I knew the images in my dream were memories of the past; everything was too clear. These spirits I owed were now surrounding me. I could feel them, and a chill ran down my entire back. I did not know how I could ever repay so many lives.

A Vow Made and a Vow Broken

It was three o'clock in the morning when I woke up. I walked to the main hall of the temple and knelt before the Buddha. I looked at the Buddha, and His magnetic field was so calm, so compassionate. I sincerely pressed my palms together and asked, 'Buddha, what should I do with my life? How can I repay these debts?' As I gazed at the Buddha, my heart became increasingly peaceful. Before long, I found my answer. I wished to spend the rest of my life serving beings at the temple. After making this decision, I bid farewell to my parents. I knew they would be reluctant to let me go, but I dared not dwell on it. I knew I had work to do and debts to repay.

During my three years of service at the temple, I witnessed the suffering of many devotees. Almost every one of them was trapped within their own life, as if they had walked into a maze, unable to wake up from the confusion. As I gradually realised that life was more than what was right in front of us, my mind expanded, and I was able to help those troubled devotees find release. Many suffered for their families, for their work, and for their desires. When they were finally willing to let go, their hearts naturally opened. Many were deeply grateful for my guidance.

In my fifth year at the temple, I was ordained as a monastic. Within the temple, my body and mind became stable, and I constantly guided devotees to practise Generosity and the release of living beings, helping one family after another become a Buddhist family. I thought I would spend the rest of my life in the temple. However, when I was forty-two, my family informed me that my father had developed dementia and that no one at home was capable of caring for him. In that moment, my heart ached, and I fell into deep contemplation. What should I do? After thinking for a long time, I decided to take an extended leave from the temple to return home and care for my father, hoping to fulfil the filial duty I had neglected throughout my life.

The Descent into the Hell Realms

I remembered that before I came to the temple, my father was the one who understood me the least; he had even severed ties with me because of my choice. After so many years, I felt a great deal of emotion. When the temple granted my request to return home, I packed my simple belongings and set off. Along the way, I reflected on my life’s journey thus far, seeing the busyness of the people around me, and I deeply understood the suffering of life. When I arrived home and opened the door, I saw that my mother had aged significantly—much more than when I had first left. My heart felt a sharp pang of sorrow.

I saw my father sitting in a chair and went up to greet him. He looked at me and asked, 'Who are you?' In that instant, the bitterness welled up in my heart, and I could not hold back my tears. While I was bathing him, he muttered, 'I was truly angered to death by that unfilial son. He hasn't been home in so many years, and there has been no news. It was truly a waste to give birth to him.' I felt sad hearing this, but I did not regret my choice. I cared for my father for five years, relying on odd jobs to maintain the household expenses. During those five years, I had completely integrated into secular life, and I felt as though I had experienced all the vicissitudes of the world. I asked myself if I still had the heart for practice, and to my surprise, I could not answer. Feeling this way, I had no face to return to the temple.

A Second Chance at Deliverance

In a split second, I chose to continue living in the secular world, hoping to pass the rest of my life in peace. Because my heart for practice was not firm enough, I felt I could not face the Buddha. At the end of my life, I fell ill. In a state of consciousness between life and death, I saw a vast land, and the spirits of the dead were entering into it. After an incalculable amount of time in that realm, I arrived before the King of Hell. Reviewing my past days, I repented to the King of Hell and to the beings I was originally supposed to help. I wept bitterly, but I could no longer make amends for everything.

I was destined to become a wandering spirit in that space, a lost and broken soul. However, the King of Hell was compassionate; seeing my sincere repentance, he granted me the position of a prison guard. I rejoiced at this opportunity and served the beings in hell with a sincere heart. I saw that the beings were stubborn and difficult to transform, mostly because they did not understand the true Truth. I am grateful that the Dharma-voice of Practitioner Su reached into the hells, allowing those who heard it to understand and awaken. After listening to the teachings, I also sincerely made a vow to follow the Buddha once again. I am grateful to the Buddha for giving me this opportunity to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. I am grateful to Practitioner Su. Shi Qiufeng bows in reverence."