This is a record of an interview with Tang Yuan-an, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent service as a guard in the hell realms. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on October 25, 2024.
Tang Yuan-an speaks:
". I am Tang Yuan-an. I am filled with gratitude to the Buddha and to Practitioner Su; without them, I could never have reached the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. As I stand here, the golden ground beneath my feet is incredibly radiant, and my heart is profoundly at peace. If it were not for the help of the Buddha and Practitioner Su, I could never have enjoyed such . On behalf of sixty other hell guards, I kneel and bow in gratitude to the Buddha and Practitioner Su.
I am deeply thankful for the Causal Conditions of today, which have brought about our deliverance.
A Childhood of Loneliness and Longing
I am Tang Yuan-an. I grew up in a single-parent household. For as long as I can remember, I never knew where my mother had gone. My father would occasionally bring women home and tell me to call them 'Auntie.' But where was my mother? I longed to ask, yet my heart was filled with fear. I was terrified that my father would become angry or that he would abandon me. Whenever his expression changed, I would tread carefully, for besides my father, I had no one else in the world.
When I was young, my father was always busy with work and had almost no time to care for me. My heart was often lonely. In those moments of solitude, there was no one to accompany me, so I had to learn to keep myself company. Once, at school, other children mocked me for not having a mother. When they laughed at me, I completely broke down. I fought them, ending up covered in bruises and receiving a warning from the school. That was the most painful moment of my life, yet no one cared, and no one knew the depth of my hurt.
The Warmth of a Mother's Love
When I was eight, my father brought another woman home. She stayed with us for several days. My father told me, 'This auntie will stay with us for a while to look after you.' At first, I was very guarded. I had always held a perfect image of what a mother should be, and this woman did not match that ideal, so I naturally kept my distance.
However, she was incredibly patient with me. She cooked three meals a day, and her food was truly delicious. Every time I finished a meal, a warm feeling would spread through my heart—it was the atmosphere of a real home. When I first experienced this, I was surprised. I realised that my heart had finally opened to her. Every day, she would ask about my school life and how I got along with the other children.
One day, while talking to her, I finally spoke about the incident where I had fought the other children because they mocked me for not having a mother. My eyes filled with tears; it was clear that I had not yet moved past that pain. Before my tears could even fall, hers began to stream down. She instinctively pulled me into her arms. She said nothing, but I knew she truly felt my pain. In that moment, I let down my guard and accepted her as the first mother I had ever known. Although I still called her 'Auntie,' in my heart, she was my family.
Finding Purpose Through Service
She brought warmth into my life and taught me many principles of how to be a good person—things my father had been too busy to teach me. After she moved in, I noticed my father became gentler. The three of us would sit at the dining table together, and it truly felt like a family. This sense of domestic fulfillment helped me gradually overcome my of inferiority.
On weekends, whenever my father went to work, she would take me with her to do volunteer work. Later, I realised she did not need my help at all; she simply wanted to use those opportunities to teach me. Actions speak louder than words. Through her, I witnessed her thoughtfulness, meticulousness, and patience in serving the elderly. Many of the elderly would lose their tempers for no reason, but she never got angry. Instead, she offered them her absolute sincerity and service.
Once, another volunteer joined us in a remote mountain area. After everyone had finished their tasks, he stood beside me, watching her as she continued to change the bedsheets for an elderly person. The volunteer said, 'Your mother has always been the most diligent person in this volunteer group. She does what others refuse to do. She never complains about filth or mess, and she never keeps track of how much more she does than others. She has always been someone I admire.' I did not explain our relationship to him.
On the way home, seeing that she was still full of energy, I asked, 'Auntie, why are you still so energetic after working all day? Don't you feel tired?' She replied, 'Because my heart is satisfied. Serving others is something that brings me great . People should not just spend their lives orbiting around themselves; they need to look at the world and see how many people are in need of help.' After hearing her words, although I did not show much emotion, I knew deep inside that I had found my life's purpose. I became more proactive in my volunteer service. When I did these things, I did not think too much; I simply focused on serving and serving again. I made serving others my life's goal.
The Transition to the Hell Realms
She never married my father. When I was thirty, she fell ill and passed away. I was heartbroken, and at her grave, I whispered the word 'Mother.' I had said my final goodbye to her. I am so grateful that she brought a completely different hope and direction to my life; it was because of her that I was able to have a complete home. I wanted to carry forward her love and her dedication to serving others as a way to repay her kindness. After she left, I often stayed with my father, and I could feel his deep sorrow. It was my first profound experience with the separation of life and death.
Throughout my volunteer work, I gained many insights into life. Every person has a different story and different encounters. I hoped to improve the lives of those I served, but my wishes often could not overcome the pull of reality. I had to face these situations. Even so, I knew I could bring them a positive heart—a mindset that could remain satisfied even while facing the hardships of life. Several families were moved by my sincerity; they became willing to stop focusing solely on their own suffering and instead look at what they possessed. They realised that by appreciating what they had, they could find a sense of fulfillment.
I always hoped to serve the public, but gradually, my legs grew weaker. I had previously established a volunteer group, and although I was the leader, when my health began to decline, I handed the group over to someone capable of managing it. I stayed back and watched. Even though my body failed, my heart remained dedicated to service. When I closed my eyes for the last time in that life, I did not know I had passed away. I turned into air, continuing to orbit the places I wished to protect.
Deliverance to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss
I do not know how long I existed in that state, until my spirit was led to the Hall of King Yama, and only then did I realise I had died. I had no regrets in that life. King Yama could clearly see my heart and knew that I was a person willing to serve. Therefore, with , he gave me the work of a hell guard so that I could put my nature to use. I am very grateful for such Causal Conditions, so I was extremely diligent.
However, there were many times when I heard the tragic wailing of the beings in the hells, and I wished they could wake up and stop being so consumed by their intense inner emotions. Although I could not help them, whenever I heard the Buddha's name chanting or the sound of Practitioner Su giving talks in the hells, I was deeply moved, because I knew this power could help the beings in the hells.
I am so grateful for the compassion of Practitioner Su, which allowed me and many other beings to know the Buddha and to make the vow to follow the Buddha. I am thankful for the Causal Conditions of today, which have allowed me to be led by Practitioner Su to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. My gratitude is endless.
Tang Yuan-an, kneeling and bowing.
※ Tang Yuan-an's aunt, Liao Shu-jing, was also led by Practitioner Su from the space into the Western Land of Dharma Nature.
