The High Cost of Perfection

This is a record of an interview with Chen Guangzhong, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life as a modern software engineer and his subsequent service as a spirit in the underworld. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa-Xi, on May 14, 2023.

Chen Guangzhong speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. This place is truly a realm filled with light and a joyful atmosphere; it is what we call the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. I am so deeply grateful to have had the opportunity to arrive here. It is something I never even dared to dream of—that I, Chen Guangzhong, could be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This is truly a blessing that requires me to express my deepest gratitude to the compassion of Practitioner Su. Without his great vow, we would never have had this chance to be saved. On behalf of all the prison guards and all sentient beings with karmic affinity, I bow in gratitude to the Buddha’s kindness and to the kindness of Practitioner Su. Namo Amituofo.

The Relentless Pursuit of Excellence

In my human life, I was a high-level software engineer. I was completely focused on writing high-quality code. I was a workaholic, constantly busy with complex tasks and bearing the weight of immense professional pressure. I held myself to incredibly strict standards; whenever there was a project to complete, I would force myself to reach the absolute peak of performance. I believed that my value was tied to my output, and I pushed myself beyond all reasonable limits.

However, in my pursuit of excellence, I completely neglected the state of my own body. I frequently stayed up all night working, ignoring the need for regular rest and exercise. I endured constant fatigue and stress, believing that as long as I put in enough effort, I could overcome any challenge. I did not realise that this lifestyle was slowly destroying me from the inside out. I was so blinded by my own ambition that I failed to see the warning signs my body was desperately sending me.

The Silent Warning of the Body

As time passed, I began to feel an overwhelming exhaustion, both physically and mentally. My body was crying out for help, but I ignored these signals, continuing to obsessively chase perfection. Finally, when my body could no longer bear the strain, I suddenly collapsed. It was a total system failure.

Everyone around me was caught completely unprepared. My collapse was so sudden that before anyone could even react, I had already departed from this world. In the blink of an eye, this impermanence took my life. I was only thirty years old. I died of overwork, consumed by my own endless labour. My family and colleagues were left in a state of profound shock. They realised too late that the work pressure and my own excessive self-expectations had caused irreparable damage to my health. They felt such deep regret, knowing that if someone had discovered my struggle sooner and helped me find a balance between life and work, perhaps I would still be alive today.

Trapped in a Digital Purgatory

But it is a tragedy that in life, there are no 'what ifs.' After I died, I found myself trapped within my own workspace. I was so attached to my programming and so consumed by my own fixations that I continued to work with all my might, completely unaware that I had already passed away. I became a spirit within that space, remaining in my working environment, continuing to toil, constantly striving for results that no longer mattered.

I had been the primary breadwinner for my family, and after I was gone, there was no one left to care for them. This created a deep sense of attachment and worry in my heart, which made it even harder for me to wake up from that workspace. I kept working endlessly, terrified that if I stopped, my family would have nothing to eat. In the competitive world I left behind, I felt I had to keep pushing, completely forgetting the reality of my own death. I believe there are many people in the world today who are just like I was—many who have already lost their lives because they ignored the balance between life and work. When a person dies, they cannot take anything with them. Being trapped in that space, unable to escape, was a truly terrifying experience. I hope that after hearing my story, everyone will take a moment to reflect on their own lives and their current state of being. Life is precious; one must learn to fulfil their life within its limited time and do things that are truly meaningful.

The Sound That Pierced the Void

It was not until one day, when I was awakened by the sound of a great qing, that I realised I had been dead for so many years. I discovered that my former family had long since moved on, and I had no idea where they were. In that moment, I felt a profound sense of emptiness. I realised that everything I had strived for in my life had left me with nothing but this hollow, ignorant sense of unreality. Everything had turned into smoke and mist.

Thankfully, there was this bright, resonant sound. I followed the source of the sound and found this luminous place. They told me it was the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. As I approached, I realised it was the sound of a practitioner striking the great qing. That practitioner was the respected Practitioner Su. The sound of the qing had such incredible penetrating power; I was drawn to it, and in that very instant, my original space vanished. That sound had broken through my confinement.

A New Path of Service

When I arrived at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre, I heard the continuous, melodic sound of chanting. Without even thinking, I wanted to join in and sing along. As I chanted, I began to weep. My heart felt so heavy, so weary from the suffering of my life, and I felt a desperate longing to be liberated from such pain. In the temple, I listened to Practitioner Su giving Dharma talks, and it touched my heart deeply. Later, I heard that the underworld was in need of assistance, so I voluntarily requested to serve under the Ten Kings of Hell. I hoped that by doing so, I could accumulate merit and virtue, and eventually seek rebirth in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

I have been serving for about six years now, and today, I have finally waited for this opportunity. I am so incredibly grateful for the compassionate vow of Practitioner Su; it is only because of him that we have this chance to be liberated and leave suffering behind. I will continue to actively study the Buddha’s teachings and cultivate myself so that I may help other sentient beings in the future, thereby repaying the Buddha’s kindness. On behalf of all the prison guards and all sentient beings with karmic affinity, I bow in gratitude to the Buddha’s kindness and to the kindness of Practitioner Su. Namo Amituofo."

Chen Guangzhong, with palms joined.