Wu An, a former prison guard in the hell realms, sought deliverance through the of Practitioner Su. He now resides in the of Ultimate Bliss. This interview was recorded by Practitioner Shi Faxin on June 16, 2023.
Wu An speaks:
". Today, being able to attain rebirth in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, I am profoundly grateful to Practitioner Su. Before me stands the magnificent, towering Buddha, radiating brilliant light. I kneel before the Buddha, repenting for all the sins of my past. Having walked through the hells, I know that the laws of and cause and effect are absolute; I dare not act recklessly again.
The Endless Queue of Suffering
In the hells, there are far too many spirits waiting in line for judgment. Every single spirit carries their own story of samsara. Some arrive waiting to be interrogated, some wait to undergo their retribution, and others are already there, wailing in agony. Within the hells, no one can escape the consequences of their actions.
I am Wu An. I was a sea bass—I have been a sea bass twenty-one times. When I first stood before King Yama, he explained my situation very clearly: this was my . For me, this was a way to atone for my past sins.
The Cycle of the Sea Bass
During my lifetimes as a sea bass, from the moment I hatched as a fry until I grew into a full-sized fish—whether I was a wild sea bass or one raised in captivity—my fate was always the same: I would be caught and turned into a dish for the dinner table. Every time I was prepared as a meal, I had to endure the full extent of the agony involved.
The suffocating pain, the scraping of my scales, the removal of my internal organs, being thrown into a boiling pot, and finally, the sensation of being chewed and swallowed—I had to experience this, over and over again. In each of these experiences, I gained a deeper understanding of the impermanence and volatility of life, and I saw the true face of human desire. Each time I underwent this retribution, my karma was reduced just a little bit more.
A Mother's Illness and a Child's Devotion
The reason I had to endure this retribution stems, in part, from my mother. When I was five years old, my mother fell gravely ill. My family spent everything we had to treat her, but her condition never improved. One day, I heard a neighbor say that perhaps a stew made from sea bass would help nourish her and aid her recovery.
The next day, the neighbor brought over a pot of sea bass soup for my mother to try. When she drank it, I saw that she had energy for the entire afternoon. I was overjoyed, firmly believing that sea bass soup was the miracle cure that would help my mother recover. I was still a child and had no money, so I begged the neighbor to let me help at her fruit stall, asking only that she buy me a sea bass at the end of the day. I pleaded with her many times before she finally agreed.
The next day at the stall, I shouted with all my might, 'The sweetest fruit! The most delicious fruit!' I shouted until my throat was hoarse, and finally, I earned enough to buy the fish. My heart was filled with . When I returned home and cooked the soup, my mother asked, 'Why is there sea bass soup again today?' I told her, 'It is the kindness of our neighbor.' She replied, 'You must thank her for me.' I nodded.
The Burden of Responsibility
This went on for some time, until a period of several weeks passed without rain. The neighbor's fruit harvest was poor, and she could no longer help me. I was so anxious, pacing back and forth, trying to find a solution. I thought to myself, 'I can go without food, I will still grow, but if Mother doesn't have the soup, her body won't hold up.' I prayed to the Heavens, hoping for help.
The Heavens sent an uncle who happened to be passing by. He said he was looking for miners and asked if I wanted to join. I only asked him, 'Will the money I earn be enough to buy sea bass?' He laughed and said, 'Of course.' He added, 'Sometimes the pay is good enough to buy fish for a whole month.' I was so happy that I borrowed some money from him in advance to buy the fish. I left my younger sister in charge of caring for Mother while I went off to earn money.
Life in the Mines
The environment at the mine was terrible, but I didn't think much of it. As long as I could earn money, I didn't care about the conditions. Several times, I nearly died in mine collapses, but I escaped from death each time. I was only fifteen when I started working there—neither a child nor a man. Many people praised me because I was so hardworking, and they were very kind to me.
When I received my first paycheck, after paying back the money I owed my uncle, there was actually some left over. I was so happy; I immediately started calculating how many days of sea bass soup this would provide for my mother. Before I left home, my mother held my hand and said, 'I am sorry for making you suffer from such a young age.' I didn't think much of it; I believed that I only had one mother, and as long as she could get better, doing this was my duty.
The Final Farewell
I wrote home regularly to stay in touch with my sister. Fortunately, the news I received was that my mother's strength was gradually returning. As long as I had that support, no matter how hard I worked or how exhausted I was, I felt it was all worth it. I never complained.
But the thing I feared most eventually happened. One day, I received an express letter from my sister telling me to come home immediately, as my mother's condition was no longer optimistic. My heart sank. I took leave from the mine and rushed home as fast as I could. On the way, I kept thinking, 'Mother, wait for me! Mother, wait for me!' The moment I stepped through the door, I saw how frail she had become.
I leaned close to her. When she saw me, she tried her best to squeeze out a smile, held my hand, and then she passed away. I was stunned. A moment later, I burst into tears, my heart shattered. This was the first time I had faced the departure of a loved one.
From Filial Son to Prison Guard
After my mother passed, I shifted my filial devotion to my father, who had always been healthy. Once my mother's funeral arrangements were settled, I returned to the mine. I saved money, bought a larger house for my family, and poured all my energy into my work. At forty-two, I began to cough incessantly. The diagnosis was a lung disease caused by my work in the mines. Even knowing this, I continued to work hard, wanting to leave more money for my family.
I pushed my body to the limit. At forty-five, after a violent coughing fit, I couldn't catch my breath. I collapsed at the construction site and left this world. When I arrived at the Hall of King Yama, he told me that although I had not committed evil and had been very filial, my desire to feed my mother sea bass had indirectly caused the deaths of many fish. One by one, those fish were waiting to seek revenge, and I had to become a sea bass to undergo my retribution.
I accepted every word King Yama spoke; I felt it was a debt I had to repay. After completing my twenty-one lifetimes as a sea bass, King Yama allowed me to serve as a prison guard because of the I had accumulated through my filial piety. I cherished this opportunity and served with all my might every day.
The Path to the Western Pure Land
In the hells, I have seen all kinds of people. Those who repent and those who do not; those with strong personalities and those with fiery tempers. Whatever one's character, whatever karma one creates, one must undergo the corresponding retribution. I watched many beings in the hells suffer, and I felt deeply for them, hoping they would one day awaken and find a way out. During my time as a prison guard, I was grateful to hear Practitioner Su's talks. Only then did I learn the truth about all things and the cycle of samsara, and that one must seek rebirth in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. I prayed to the Buddha, hoping for such an opportunity.
Finally, today, I and sixty other prison guards have reached the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. I am grateful for the guidance of Practitioner Su. Before me, the light shines brilliantly.
