The Prison Guard's Path to Redemption

This is a record of an interview with Ma Enxing, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his journey through multiple lifetimes of struggle and his eventual awakening. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on May 5, 2024.

Ma Enxing speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am deeply grateful for this opportunity today, which brings us the hope of transformation and liberation. I am truly thankful for the immense help of Practitioner Su, which allows each of us to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. On behalf of all the prison guards and all sentient beings with karmic affinity, I bow in gratitude to the Buddha’s grace and to the grace of Practitioner Su. Namo Amituofo.

A Monastic’s Hidden Struggle

In a past life, I was a monastic disciple within the Buddha’s gate, seeking spiritual liberation and the true essence of practice in an ancient temple deep in the mountains. When I first entered the gate, my heart was filled with dignity, and I aspired to attain the fruit of enlightenment with a pure heart. However, as time passed, I discovered that although I lived within the temple, my character had not been fully surrendered; I remained entangled in worldly attachments and afflictions.

During my days in the temple, I followed the masters in reciting the Sutras, performing prostrations, and participating in daily practice, studying the scriptures and the Buddha’s teachings. Whenever the morning bell and evening drum sounded, I would follow the other disciples in performing rituals, hoping that through such practice, I could purify my heart and reach a state of liberation. Yet, deep within, my ego-attachment and self-consciousness remained like a shadow, making it impossible for me to truly find peace.

The Illusion of Letting Go

My master often taught us to 'let go,' to learn to observe our own nature, to see through life and death, and to untie the knots within our hearts. His words penetrated to the bone, but my heart never truly settled. I began to doubt myself: was I truly suited for this path of practice? I performed the outward forms of practice well, but the dissatisfaction and resistance within my heart grew day by day.

One day, an eminent monk arrived from afar. His Dharma eye was clear, and he seemed to perceive the hearts of others. Through a Causal Condition, I had the fortune to speak with him alone. I confessed the contradictions and struggles within my heart. After listening, the monk smiled and said, 'To let go is not merely to release external things; it is to release the inner self and one's attachments. If your heart has not let go, how can you see the original face of your Buddha-nature?'

The Cycle of Regret

These words were like a cool breeze, dispersing the fog in my heart. But true transformation cannot be achieved in a single step. I began to participate in every daily practice with more sincerity, trying to observe every thought, not allowing them to arise and cease at will, nor letting them control my emotions and behaviour. After some time, I found that I still could not fully reach the state of 'no-self' that my master spoke of. I began to reflect on whether I had too many expectations and desires for my practice, which in itself was a form of attachment. I tried to release these expectations and entrust my heart to the Buddha, bit by bit.

One day, while walking on the mountain behind the temple, I saw a fallen leaf drifting down with the wind, and in a daze, I seemed to have an epiphany. I suddenly understood that whether it is life or death, joy or sorrow, all are part of the natural way, and there is no need to be overly attached. At that moment, I felt an unprecedented sense of ease and freedom, as if I had truly understood what my master meant by 'letting go.' However, this state did not last long. As time passed, I found that I still could not fully adapt to life in the temple, and the inner dissatisfaction and resentment accumulated once again. In the end, I made a difficult decision—to return to lay life. I said goodbye to my master and fellow practitioners, and with a heart that had not yet attained true liberation, I returned to the dust of the world.

From Human to Beast

Life after returning to lay status was not as peaceful or free as I had imagined. I often recalled my days in the temple, missing that sense of tranquility and the purification of the heart. I began to search for a new path in the secular world, trying to resolve my inner contradictions through other means. I tried to study the Buddha’s teachings, participated in volunteer activities, and even sought out other spiritual mentors. Every step was difficult, and every attempt seemed to fail in helping me find true liberation. I gradually realised that whether one is a monastic or a layperson, the real problem lies within one's own heart. Only by truly letting go of inner attachments and the ego can one find that true peace and freedom.

Thus, day after day, year after year, time passed quickly. My hair gradually turned grey, and my face bore the traces of time. Although I lived in the secular world for many years, the longing for purity in my heart never disappeared. I began to re-read the scriptures my master had given me years ago; with every sentence I read, the remorse in my heart deepened. I gradually understood that I had been too attached to my ego, and I had always harboured resistance toward my master's teachings and guidance. I truly regretted it deeply, but how many chances does one have in life to start over? All I could do was live in the present as best as I could. Until the moment my life ended, my heart was filled with bitterness. Facing the suffering of old age and sickness, I had no way to change, and in the end, I left this world with regrets.

Awakening in the Form of a Cow

In my next life, I was reincarnated as a cow. This cow was slow in movement, never smiled, and lived a life of hardship. Because of my slowness, I was often whipped by my owner, and every day was extremely difficult. One day, a monastic master came to our village. He walked up to me, reached out his finger to gently touch my head, and recited, 'Namo Amituofo.' At that moment, my world seemed to open up. My spirit suddenly awakened, and I became aware of the mistakes I had made when I was a monastic in my past life. I felt my own delusion and ignorance. The pain of the lashes on my body was transmitted to the depths of my heart, so painful that I could barely endure it.

In that moment of pain, I made a vow to change completely. I understood that whether as a human or a cow, I had to find a way to change myself. This sudden awakening gave me the motivation to move toward Goodness. Even as a cow, I wanted to try my best to show patience and strength, hoping to accumulate some good karma in this life, in the hope of a better transformation in the future. Later, I ended my life as a cow and was reincarnated into the human realm, named Ma Enxing. I know that the life I have in this lifetime is a grace bestowed by the Buddha’s compassion, and I will move forward with a heart of gratitude.

A Life of Service and Reflection

From childhood, I understood that I had to work hard to learn, knowing that only by constantly refining myself could I truly help others. I often reflected on my behaviour and thoughts in the quiet of the night, seeking spiritual progress. I vowed to become someone who could help others change their destiny; first, I had to make changes myself, and then counsel others to let go of their stubbornness and ego-attachment. In this life, I have been very happy. I opened a small school in the countryside, teaching children to read and write, and more importantly, teaching them to learn gratitude and contentment. Whenever I see the children's innocent smiles, my heart is filled with satisfaction and happiness. I teach them that true happiness does not come from material possessions, but from inner contentment and gratitude for life.

As time passed, I gradually became an elder in the village, and people liked to come to me to talk and seek guidance. My words were filled with the wisdom of my past lives and the insights of this life. I often said to them, 'To change your destiny, first change your heart. When your heart changes, the perspective from which you view the world will also change, and your world will become more beautiful.' In this process, I also constantly reflected on my past. Whenever I recalled that I was once that suffering cow, I became even more grateful for the ordinariness and peace of this life. This experience made me deeply realise that every life has its meaning and value, and no matter what circumstances one is in, one should cherish and be grateful.

The Final Transition

In this life, I truly learned contentment. Even with a simple meal or humble clothing, I felt satisfied and happy. I often sat on a bamboo chair in front of my house, watching the sunset slowly descend, my heart incomparably peaceful and satisfied. I knew that this was the lesson I had failed to learn throughout three hundred years of reincarnation. Whenever the night was deep and quiet, I would make a wish to the starry sky, hoping that the future world would be more beautiful, and hoping that all sentient beings could find their own peace and happiness.

I left this world with a peaceful heart. After I departed, I soon arrived in the underworld, where I knelt before the King of Hell to await his judgment. Because of the retribution I had endured in the form of a cow, and the merits I had accumulated in this life, the King of Hell finally assigned me to serve as a prison guard before a platform of judgment. I am very happy to have this opportunity to serve; I can learn much from it, and being able to help others makes me quite satisfied.

It was only in the last few years that I heard Practitioner Su giving Dharma talks. At that moment, I was in tears; I finally knew that this was the Truth. I immediately made a vow to seriously resume my practice, to adjust my habits, and to strive for breakthroughs. I am truly very grateful to Practitioner Su. I will work hard, and this time I will not give up halfway; I will practice diligently. I am grateful for the karmic affinity that allows me to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss today. Ma Enxing, on behalf of all the prison guards and all sentient beings with karmic affinity, bows in gratitude to the Buddha’s grace and to the grace of Practitioner Su. Namo Amituofo."

Ma Enxing, with palms joined.