The Silent Observer's Journey to Liberation

This is a record of an interview with Li Guiwen, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent journey through the hells. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on May 18, 2024.

Li Guiwen speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. At this very moment, we are all weeping with joy, for we have finally arrived at the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. The pure light of this realm fills our hearts with such profound awe; it is a world so vastly different from the hells we once inhabited. We never imagined that we could possess the blessings required to reach this place. We are deeply grateful to Namo Amituofo for granting us this opportunity, and we offer our heartfelt thanks to Practitioner Su for her compassionate guidance. Together, we all knelt to express our deepest gratitude to Namo Amituofo and Practitioner Su.

The Silent Child Who Watched the World

From a very young age, I possessed an intense fascination with humanity. I do not know why, but I was deeply drawn to the study of people. Often, when my mother needed to find me, she would tell my younger brother, 'Go and see where your brother is sitting on the street again, and tell him to come home and help with the chores!'

My mother was always right. I would indeed be sitting somewhere on the street—that was my favourite thing to do. Before leaving the house, I would take a small wooden stool, walk out into the streets, and find the perfect vantage point. I would place my stool on the ground and sit there, watching the world go by until my brother came to fetch me. I watched everyone—adults, children, men, women, the young, and the elderly. Everyone was a subject of interest to me. It was truly a marvellous thing to observe the human condition.

My parents were aware of this peculiar habit. My mother once said to me, 'If you do not want to study, then go and work with your father, or help around the house. Do not sit on the street every day, staring blankly and letting your skin get so dark from the sun.'

A Life of Silence and Misunderstanding

I was born mute; I could not speak a single word. In school, I was the target of ridicule and mockery. My classmates frequently made me the butt of their jokes and often bullied me. I never fought back, nor did I ever tell the teachers, because I lacked the ability to speak. Because of this, they enjoyed tormenting me even more, knowing full well that they would never be caught by the teachers.

Strangely, no matter how they bullied me or how others treated me, I seemed to feel very little. It was not that my body lacked a physical reaction to their actions, but rather that I harboured a deep 'doubt' within my heart—a doubt that far outweighed the physical pain they inflicted upon me. Whenever they hurt me, my mind was entirely occupied by this inner question, and because this internal inquiry was so overwhelming, the physical pain simply faded into the background.

The reason I spent my days sitting on the street observing the crowds was precisely because of this doubt. My question was simple: Why does everyone look so unhappy?

The Hidden Cries of the Soul

I possessed a unique sensitivity toward human beings, a trait I discovered when I was only three years old. Once, during the Lunar New Year, my uncle came to our home for dinner. My parents and my uncle chatted happily, laughing and joking throughout the meal; the atmosphere was wonderful. After my uncle left, I immediately ran to the kitchen, pointed at the chair where he had been sitting, and gestured frantically, trying to make my mother understand what I was feeling. Finally, my mother understood my gestures and asked, 'Are you saying that your uncle does not look happy?' I nodded vigorously. But my mother replied, 'That is impossible. Your uncle said his business is thriving, and he expects even greater success soon. Look at how happily he laughed with us; his life must be going very well.'

My mother did not believe me, so I went to my father and repeated my gestures. He finally understood, but he also refused to believe me. In their eyes, my uncle was a man living a prosperous life, and he had been smiling the entire time. Three days later, my father received a phone call. I saw his face turn pale with terror, and my mother rushed over to see what had happened. My father said, 'My brother has committed suicide.' My uncle had indeed met his end, just as I had foreseen.

I truly could read the human heart; I possessed that sensitivity. But because I was a mute, and because I appeared dull and slow-witted, no one was willing to believe me. From the age of four, I could see that everyone was suffering, but I had no way to express what I saw. I could not use gestures to explain it, and I did not fully understand what was happening—why everyone’s heart was filled with such agony.

The Cycle of Rebirth

Because I had this doubt and no one to answer it, I sat on the street every day, watching the people come and go, hoping to find the answer. Strangely, the more I watched, the more I felt the human heart. I began to hear the voices within everyone. Later, I realised that these were not just the voices of the heart, but voices from a deeper level—the souls within each person!

When I discovered that I was hearing the wailing of the souls within everyone, I was shocked—deeply shocked. I looked at their faces, and they appeared perfectly normal, shopping, picking out goods, laughing and talking with those around them. Yet, I could clearly hear the souls inside them crying out in such misery, as if they were in immense pain. Their bodies, however, seemed to feel nothing; they were unaware of their own souls and thus unaware of their own suffering.

I first heard the voices of the souls within people when I was nine years old. That day, when I returned home, I heard the souls within my parents. They were also suffering, and I found that I could actually communicate with their souls. During dinner, I sat beside my father and used my mental note to ask his soul, 'Father, why are you suffering? Why do I feel such pain from you? Does this pain also make your heart ache?' His soul heard me and replied, 'I am in great suffering. I have been in the cycle of rebirth for a very long time. In this lifetime, I have come to be reborn into this body to be your father, but this body is merely a vessel. Our souls have no connection. Although I have obtained this body to live as a human, I cannot find liberation through it. I am still suffering, and I know that after this body dies, I must continue to go through the cycle of rebirth.'

I had never heard the term 'cycle of rebirth' before. After hearing this from my father’s soul, I decided to find a way to help him stop this cycle. I knew that it was not just my father’s soul, but my mother’s soul and the souls of everyone on the street—they were all the same. I had found the answer: it was because of this 'cycle of rebirth' that everyone looked so miserable!

The Trap of the Dark Path

My parents would never have agreed to let me leave home, so I took every opportunity to search for a way to end this cycle. I searched in many places, and finally, someone understood my gestures and even clearly spoke the words 'cycle of rebirth.' I was so excited I nearly jumped for joy. I gestured to ask if he could help everyone stop this cycle, and he nodded firmly.

However, he told me I had to live with him for a time so he could teach me how to achieve liberation. I knew my parents would oppose this, but for the sake of so many suffering people, I could not turn away. I could not bear to watch their souls suffer so much, living a lifetime of hardship only to return to the cycle of rebirth. I chose to run away from home, intending to return and save everyone once I had learned the method.

I went to the place of the person who claimed he could help me. His bodhimanda was incredibly dark, and there was no one else there. It was strange, and even stranger was that my innate sensitivity and abilities were useless in that place. I followed his instructions, doing whatever he commanded. After I chanted a short mantra with him, my spirit was instantly locked into a dark space, and my body became a puppet for him to use. No matter how my soul screamed, I could not escape that darkness.

That person possessed powerful skills. He took my hair, blood, and fingernails, and began to control my body, forcing it to do whatever he wished. Trapped in the darkness, I was fully aware of what my body was being made to do. I kept screaming, 'Stop! Stop! Do not listen to him! Do not listen to him!' But no matter how I screamed, my body continued to obey his commands.

The Lamp Before the Buddha

I cried and begged incessantly, but the practitioner of evil magic continued to control me. At first, I hated him intensely. Later, I saw that I had once controlled the souls of others in the same way, even harming countless beings, which is why I was born mute in this life and was now being controlled by him. When I saw this, my soul stopped screaming, filled with endless repentance and regret.

My body had been controlled by that practitioner since I was nine. When I was seventeen, while my soul was still trapped in the darkness, I suddenly saw a light ahead. Exhausted and weak, I scrambled up and rushed toward it. I plunged into that light and escaped the dark space. After emerging, I found myself in a special place with many people, though no one noticed me. I saw humans again, but I no longer had a body; I had become a lamp.

Later, I realised I was one of the lamps before the Buddha. I did not know the Buddha, but during my time as a lamp, I listened to the Master teach the Dharma every day and was bathed in the Buddha’s light, beginning to understand who the Buddha was. It was then that I truly understood the method for liberation from the cycle of rebirth: it was not to seek demonic beings, but to follow the teachings of the Buddha and chant 'Namo Amituofo.'

My physical body had died, so my spirit could not return to it; I remained in that lamp. My original intention remained unchanged: I wanted to help everyone achieve liberation and leave suffering behind. I used the light of that lamp to illuminate everyone, to shine upon the Buddha behind me. I wanted everyone to see the Buddha clearly and know that only by following the Buddha could one attain true liberation.

Deliverance and the Path of the Jailer

Although my power was limited—after all, I was only a lamp—my heart was sincere, and I truly wanted to help people. Finally, amidst the constant chanting of the Buddha's name, I was able to leave that lamp within two years. I did not have the chance to follow the Buddha immediately because my body had created immense sins. Even though it was not my intention, as I was being controlled, I still had to repay that debt. My spirit was brought before the King of Hell, who showed me the boundless sins I had been used to create in that lifetime. Eventually, my body could no longer bear the long-term pain and regret of my soul, and during another instance of being controlled by magic, it burst and died, stopping the creation of further karma.

Through the balancing of my merits and sins, my spirit still had to undergo retribution in the hells, but only for ten years, because I had never intended to harm anyone; in fact, I had always wanted to help sentient beings. Later, the King of Hell gave me the job of a jailer, and I did my best to fulfil my duties. A few years ago, I began to hear Practitioner Su giving Dharma talks in the hells, and I recalled the memories of listening to the teachings while I was a lamp before the Buddha.

I cherished the opportunity to listen to Practitioner Su’s lectures, hoping that I might still have a chance to help sentient beings. My heart was truly tied to the beings in the hells, and finally, I was placed on the list for Practitioner Su to guide to the Western Pure Land. Today, I have followed the other jailers to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

I am grateful to the Buddha. I am grateful to Practitioner Su. Namo Amituofo.

Li Guiwen bows in reverence."