The Steamed Bun That Restored a Conscience

This is a record of an interview with Chen Bangyou, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his subsequent journey through the realms of existence. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on October 12, 2024.

Chen Bangyou speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. Returning to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, I finally understand how wonderful it feels to be back in one's true home.

Today, I, along with fifty-nine other prison guards, was guided by Practitioner Su to return to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This is the true home of our spirits. At this very moment, my heart is finally at peace. When I was wandering through the cycle of reincarnated life, my heart was filled with such deep, underlying anxiety, though I never truly noticed it at the time. It was only after arriving here in the West that this sense of peace became so profound. I realised then that the heavy, suffocating feeling I carried deep within was simply my heart searching for a place to belong—my spirit had not yet returned to its true home. Now that I have returned, the void in my heart has been instantly filled. It is so comfortable, so tranquil. My heart is truly at rest.

The Burden of Integrity

Living in the human world is filled with so much helplessness. I was once a merchant. To maintain my integrity, I refused to sell dishonest goods or compromise my moral foundations. I held firmly to my own sense of morality. However, in the dark, cutthroat world of business, I was like a grain of sand in their eyes because my actions were the complete opposite of theirs. Many times, they tried to persuade me to sell 'black-hearted' goods, claiming it was the only way to earn a profit, but I refused. My persistence eventually harmed me; they kidnapped my youngest son.

I begged them incessantly to return my son, but they insisted that I sell their dishonest goods before they would release him. I was in such agony. I could not betray my conscience, yet I could not bear to lose my child. What was I to do? I sought help everywhere, but no one could assist me. In that moment, my heart was shattered. I kept asking the Heavens, 'Why is the world like this? Why?'

A Heart Turned to Darkness

That was the time my youngest son was killed, becoming the greatest pain in my heart. It was also then that my heart changed, perhaps because I was truly desperate. The morality and conscience I had so firmly upheld had resulted in such a tragic outcome, so why should I continue to persist? There were many complex voices in my mind, and combined with the grief of losing my son, I could not find my way out of the darkness.

I had five children in total. My wife cared for them at home while I worked. Initially, my business allowed us to live a normal life without much financial pressure, but after the incident with my youngest son, everything changed. The reason was my insistence on my moral foundations. Many times, I asked myself, 'Was I really wrong?' I could not find an answer, but I had begun to doubt myself.

Those who harmed my son were never brought to justice, which made me feel even more desperate about the world. Why did the world become like this? Why must those who do the right thing suffer, while those who commit evil run rampant? Why?

The Stranger and the Steamed Bun

Those people continued to suppress me. They said they would cut off all my paths, ensuring I could not survive in this world. Indeed, I could no longer conduct business; they manipulated things so that every venture I attempted resulted in a loss, until I was forced to close down. I searched everywhere for work, but I could not find anything. Either the employers would not hire me, or I did not meet their requirements. Various excuses left me unable to find a single job.

Lost and dejected, I walked the streets alone. I thought to myself, if I were the only one alive, it wouldn't matter; starving on the roadside would be fine. But I had a loving wife and four remaining sons waiting for me to provide for them. How could I feed them? I crouched in a corner, weeping uncontrollably, feeling utterly desperate and heartbroken. Just then, a steamed bun suddenly appeared before me. An old woman stood there, holding the bun, smiling as she said, 'Young man, eat this and you will be fine. There is nothing in this world that is truly insurmountable.' I looked at her face, covered in wrinkles that deepened when she smiled. Her expression told me she had walked many paths and experienced much of the world. This sentence was her conclusion, the wisdom she had gained from her own journey.

After the old woman heard my story, she offered to hire me, asking me to come early every morning to help her sell steamed buns. I agreed, though I worried that the wages would not be enough to support my family.

The Temptation of the Demon

On the first day, a voice like a demon's appeared in my mind. As I looked at the buns, I wondered if I could take some home for my wife and children. But another voice told me these were for sale and that taking them would violate my conscience—it was wrong. Previously, I would never have had two conflicting voices; there would only be one, and I would naturally know what was right. But now, the demon's voice had emerged, and I seemed unable to resist its power. It was as if I no longer believed in morality, for it had cost my youngest son his life.

I chose to listen to the demon's voice. When the old woman wasn't looking, I stole five buns to take home to my wife and four sons. The first day I did this, she did not notice. The second day, I did the same, and she still did not notice. Every day thereafter, I continued, and she never seemed to see.

My wife and children did not know that the buns they ate were stolen, and I, of course, felt guilty. But if I did not do this, my monthly earnings were simply not enough to cover our expenses.

The Compassion of the Old Woman

When I was about to steal a bun for the one hundred and fiftieth time, the old woman caught me. I was so nervous that I quickly put the bun down and apologised immediately: 'I am sorry! I am sorry! I really do not want to do this, but I have a wife and children to support. I did not do this on purpose!' The old woman smiled and said, 'I know. Just take it.' I looked up at her and asked, 'You knew I was stealing buns every day?' She nodded.

I felt incredibly ashamed and lowered my head. The old woman said, 'I know you are a kind person, which is why I hired you; otherwise, I could have sold them myself. I understand your situation, so I do not mind that you took the buns; consider them a gift from me. However, I want you to know that the morality and conscience you held in the past were correct. Do not let the grief of losing your son make you lose faith in morality, and do not despair of the world because of it. There is warmth everywhere in this world; it all depends on the heart with which you view it.'

I understood her words. Although I felt deeply ashamed—especially knowing she had seen me every time and never stopped me—her compassion made me feel even more remorseful. I told myself that I would never again do anything that violated my conscience. I would learn from her compassion.

A New Beginning

I began to pull myself together, working hard to sell the buns and carefully researching different recipes. During the development process, I would make batch after batch of experimental buns. Since they were not yet perfect, I could not sell them, so I gave them to the poor families in the area. My relentless efforts finally led me to successfully develop delicious buns; both the dough and the filling were of excellent quality.

Unexpectedly, I went from selling buns to opening a shop, and every day there were long queues of customers; business was booming. The person I am most grateful to is that old woman. During my most difficult time, she used her own savings to pay my wages, did not mind that I stole her buns, and helped me regain my conscience.

This shop was not just for making money; it was opened to help those in need, which was my original goal. I also shared my secret recipes with many people without hesitation, allowing more people to sell delicious buns so that everyone could enjoy good food. That was a wonderful thing.

The Legacy of Kindness

After my children grew up, my second son took over the shop. He expanded it further, not only selling more buns but also helping more people. One day, a woman of about twenty-five came to the shop and gave us a thank-you card. She told us, 'Our family was very poor. Since I was a child, we ate the buns you gave us, which allowed us to survive without going hungry. Later, you even gave us scholarships so we could afford to live.' I never expected that the children we had helped would grow up to be adults. Seeing their growth, I felt that all my efforts were worth it.

Since opening the shop, life became busier, but also more fulfilling, and my heart felt richer. I am very grateful that I had a conscience and moral foundations in my heart throughout this life, which ultimately kept me from walking down the wrong path and allowed me to reach out and help others.

The Transition to the Unseen

On the day I left the human world, I dressed neatly because my body told me my time was near, so I prepared in advance. My wife stayed by my side, her eyes filled with love and reluctance to let me go. I am grateful for her companionship throughout my life.

Before I stopped breathing, I closed my eyes slightly, and my consciousness was quickly led away. I was still researching buns; I wanted to create even better ones. I kept working, my hands never stopping. As a result, my spirit entered the 'space of buns' and continued to make them there.

I became several different types of buns, and all the buns I became were the most delicious ones. Those who ate them wanted a second one, but usually, the second one was not as good as the first, because my only intention was to give people delicious food. So, I continued to research in the bun space. I also wanted to help the poor; the better the buns, the more people would buy them, giving me more money to relieve poor families.

From the Bun Space to the Western Pure Land

I spent a total of thirty-five years in the bun space. The moment I left the buns, my spirit woke up from that space and was brought into the Yama King's court in hell, where the King of Hell assigned me the position of a prison guard.

In hell, I did my duty every day. Seeing the suffering prisoners every day was actually very painful, because their wailing and agony truly made my heart ache. Later, I began to hear Practitioner Su giving Dharma talks in hell. Through listening to the teachings, I understood many truths about the universe and the importance of the holy name 'Namo Amituofo.' I actively introduced the Buddha's teachings in hell, and many beings began to listen along. Even though they were in great pain, they still listened. Through their sincere repenting, many left hell early, which brought me comfort. I truly wish that all beings can leave suffering behind soon.

Later, I also developed the aspiration to seek rebirth in the Western Pure Land. This mental note gave me the opportunity to be placed on the list of those Practitioner Su would guide to the West. I am very grateful.

Now, I am already in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. All sixty of us prison guards are filled with Dharma joy, kneeling and bowing in gratitude.

Namo Amituofo.

Chen Bangyou bows in reverence."