A False Marriage and the Path to Awakening

This is a record of an interview with Zeng Jin, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Dharma-Nature Land. This account reflects upon his life approximately 1,900 years ago. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on December 9, 2018.

Zeng Jin speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Zeng Jin. My mother would often collapse to the floor, screaming and striking her head. It was as if her mind had completely shattered; she would constantly perform these violent, erratic actions. As the eldest son, I would hold my younger siblings tightly as they wept and trembled in fear. I kept soothing them, telling them to keep their hearts focused on chanting Namo Amituofo."

A Household in Turmoil

"My mother’s episodes would only cease near dawn, by which time my siblings were exhausted and had fallen asleep on their beds. The house would be left in a state of utter disarray. Once my mother finally retreated to her room to rest, I would sneak out to clean up the wreckage of the night. This was not the first time such a thing had happened. Ever since my father passed away, my mother’s emotions had become incredibly unstable, frequently manifesting in these frantic, maddening behaviours. We all knew that my father was the person she loved most in this world. Their bond was profound, and they had vowed to remain husband and wife throughout their many lives, never to be separated. However, my father’s life was cut short in an accident. My mother could not accept the reality of his death; when she received the news, she simply lost her mind."

The Burden of the Eldest Son

"My mother lost the ability to work, and at fourteen, I became the primary pillar of support for our family. I had to leave for work before dawn every day and would not return until late at night. The responsibility of caring for my mother and siblings fell to my younger sister, Zeng Xuan, who was two years my junior. She managed the daily chores and looked after the household. Whenever my mother’s mental illness flared up, my younger brother, Zeng Quan—who was the fastest runner—would immediately sprint to the construction site to find me, begging me to rush home to calm her down. I often had to travel back and forth between the site and our home five or six times in a single day, juggling the demands of work and family. I am deeply grateful to my employer, who understood my situations and empathised with my family’s plight. He did not hold my absences against me and kept me on as a worker, which was the only reason I was able to keep my job."

Enduring the Bitter Path

"Every single coin in our home was used with extreme frugality. The meal we ate most often was thin porridge made from rice water donated by our neighbours, with just a few grains of white rice added to feed all eight of us. I would often endure the gnawing hunger in my stomach while performing heavy manual labour, earning a meagre wage to supplement our household needs. From a young age, I understood the suffering of life, yet I never complained. I always believed that no matter how bitter life became, as long as I gritted my teeth and kept moving forward, there would eventually be a day of liberation from this suffering. Anything within my power to do, I would do with all my might. This was my responsibility, and I accepted it as my fate."

A Fateful Encounter

"When I was sixteen, I took on several extra jobs, often working until the middle of the night before I could return home. One day, as usual, I finished my work and packed my things to head back. The road was completely deserted; every household had already retired for the night. I was walking alone in the darkness when, as I passed over a bridge, a wail reached my ears. I stopped to listen carefully, but the sound vanished. Thinking I had merely imagined it, I continued on my way. Then, the screaming grew louder. I knew it was no hallucination, so I began to search for the source."

The Mysterious Lady

"It sounded like the voice of a woman, and it was utterly wretched. After searching for a long time, I spotted a weak figure beneath the bridge. She no longer had the strength to cry out for help. I climbed down, rescued her, and she promptly fainted. I had no other choice but to bring her home to care for her. We had nothing in our home, only warm water for her to drink. My sister helped her change out of her mud-stained clothes, applied ointment to her wounds, and let her rest comfortably on the bed for the night. The next morning, when I prepared to leave for work, I discovered that the woman had already left. No one knew when she had departed. The whole event felt like a dream, and my siblings and I did not dwell on it, letting it drift away like smoke."

A Marriage Forced by Circumstance

"A few weeks later, I had a rare day off. Suddenly, the area outside our home became very lively, with many villagers standing at our door whispering to one another. I wondered what could have happened. Someone knocked loudly on the door, calling my name: 'Zeng Jin, open the door! It is the village head!' I opened the door to ask what was the matter. An official in government robes stood there with a chest of gold and jewels, which he placed at our doorstep. He said, 'This treasure is brought specifically to thank you for your life-saving grace.' I was confused and asked, 'What life-saving grace?' The village head loudly told me, 'You saved the daughter of this noble lord, and he has come specifically to thank you!' It was only then that I recalled that night and realised the lord before me was the father of that woman."

The Unintended Vow

"I returned the jewels to the lord, insisting that I could not accept such a grand gift, as it had been a mere act of kindness that required no reward. At that moment, a woman stepped out of the sedan chair—it was the woman I had rescued. The lord asked me, 'Are you willing to marry my precious daughter? Since the day you saved her, she has developed a deep affection for you.' I looked at them in shock, not knowing how to respond. I quickly regained my composure and told the lord, 'I have no intention of marrying in this life. Please, my lord, find another suitable husband for your daughter.' Just then, my mother’s illness flared up again. She ran out from the backyard, terrified by the sight of strangers, and grabbed a knife, swinging it at anyone in sight. The first person she struck was the lord’s daughter, leaving a scar on her beautiful face. My mother then fled back into the house in a panic. I apologised profusely to the lord and his daughter, but the lord seized the opportunity to press his demand for the marriage, leaving me with no choice but to agree."

A Marriage in Name Only

"I moved into the lord’s estate as a son-in-law. To ensure I would not worry about my family, my father-in-law hired many servants to care for my mother and siblings and sent vast amounts of wealth to our home, allowing my family to enjoy prosperity through my good fortune. However, the relationship between the daughter and me was one in name only. On our wedding night, I did not enter the room, choosing instead to sit outside the door for the entire night. She understood that I had no desire for this marriage and had only agreed because I was forced by the situation. Near dawn, she opened the door, and we spoke of our inner thoughts. It was then that I realised she had never intended to marry either. She had been under the bridge that night because she was resisting an arranged marriage and had intended to jump to end it all. She had not expected to survive with only minor injuries, only to be saved by me. After staying in my home that night and learning of our poverty, she decided to help me escape my suffering. She used the excuse of marriage to send money to my family so I would no longer have to toil for our survival."

The Path to the Dharma

"I was deeply grateful to this wife in name only, thankful that she fulfilled my wish to remain unmarried. I told her of my dream: I had always wanted to enter a monastery to practise the Dharma, but I was held back by my family obligations, fearing that if I were not there to care for my mother, she might harm herself or others. To help me fulfil my dream, she kept it a secret from her father, allowing me to go to the monastery every day to serve and listen to the Buddha’s teachings. I had never been so happy. Every day I studied the Buddha’s teachings, my heart felt so stable and relaxed. The Dharma taught me the illusory and transient nature of human existence, and I finally understood that the only way to truly save my mother was through the path of the Buddha. When my father-in-law went away on official business for a year, I moved into the monastery to practise. My wife told me, 'Go and practise with peace of mind! I can manage everything at home.' I bowed to her three times to express my gratitude, turned, and left the estate, heading toward the monastery."

Awakening and Deliverance

"My perseverance in practice far exceeded that of anyone else in the monastery, a strength forged through the hardships of my daily life. For three years, I did not speak a single word, following the monastic community in diligent practice. When I finally returned home, my mother had already passed away. I saved her spirit and helped her achieve rebirth in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. I also guided my siblings to study the Buddha’s teachings. From them, I learned that the lord’s daughter had finally convinced her father to let her enter a monastery to practise as a lay practitioner. At that moment, I let go of all my attachments and practised with even greater purity. Within ten years, I achieved Awakening, became the abbot of the monastery, and spent my life spreading the Dharma to benefit all sentient beings."

A Mission Across Space

"Practitioner Su opened a space for me, a realm filled with ancient spirits that people in the world today have never seen. One of these spaces was where I once practised. The beings there were small in stature but each possessed a dignified appearance, sitting upright upon the clouds. It turned out that I, too, was once one of them, until I encountered a person who chanted the Buddha’s name and guided me out of that space. Now, I have returned, using the language you are all familiar with, using the six-character name to guide these fellow practitioners of the past, leading them to rebirth in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. I continue to save all beings connected to me by karmic affinity, helping them escape from their suffering. I am grateful for the compassionate assistance of Practitioner Su, and I am grateful for the compassion of the Buddha. Namo Amituofo."