Are You Truly Yourself?

The Essence of Your Original Nature

You may often ask yourself: Am I truly being myself? Am I the one in control of my life? To understand this, we must first define what the true self is. Your true self is the original nature you possessed before your parents gave birth to you. It is your inherent, pure nature. When your words, actions, attitudes, and thoughts are in harmony with this true nature, you are acting as your true self. If you can reclaim this original state, your sincere wish to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss will be easily fulfilled.

However, if you are no longer acting as your true self, it means you have allowed other forces to take control. You may be under the influence of your karmic creditors or attached spirits. You may be driven by the momentum of your past karma and fate. When this happens, you drift further and further away from your true nature. It becomes difficult to escape the six realms of rebirth, and you may wander within them for countless lifetimes without a clear path to liberation. In such a state, you are drifting far away from the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

Recognising the Signs of Attachment

Below, I offer several perspectives to help you reflect on your own state of being. Practitioner Su, who has achieved Awakening and works to save the world, may also provide additional insights. Use these as a guide to help you distinguish between your true self and the influences of attachment, so that you may learn, improve, and eventually reach Awakening and be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

When you were born, you were innocent, pure, and free from worldly defilement. That was your true self. As you grew, you began to develop the ability to discriminate. You learned to read the expressions of adults, sensing who was scolding you with hidden love and who harboured hostility toward you. In your attempt to protect yourself, you developed defensive mechanisms: you began to talk back, express anger, and cry; you felt dissatisfied, resentful, and filled with sorrow. Your heart became clouded by these negative emotions, and in that state, you were no longer your true self.

The Turbulence of the False Self

Sometimes, you may appear quiet and say nothing, yet every word you hear stirs up your inner feelings. You may be filled with anger, rebellion, and dissatisfaction, or you may project your frustrations onto others. When you are misunderstood or slandered, you might retreat in defeat. When you feel exhausted, sorrowful, or unable to move forward, you may fall into self-pity, blaming yourself or others, and giving in to despair. In these moments, you are not acting as your true self.

Your eyes are windows that reveal your inner state. If your gaze is dull, if your eyes dart back and forth, or if you look at others sideways and avoid direct eye contact—especially if you are afraid to look directly at Practitioner Su—it is a sign that you are no longer your true self.

Your facial expression can also change in an instant when things do not go your way. A face that was once composed may suddenly appear distorted or misaligned. This is another sign that you are not acting from your true nature.

The Five Poisons and Five Desires

Furthermore, if you find yourself remembering the distant past but forgetting what you just said or did, if you fail to recognise your own family, or if your intelligence and ability to care for yourself decline, you are no longer your true self.

You must be vigilant against the negative traits that obscure your true nature. These include the Five Poisons: greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, and doubt; and the Five Desires: wealth, lust, fame, food, and sleep. Negative behaviours such as jealousy, a narrow mind, stinginess, selfishness, constant complaining, competitiveness, and the need to be first—as well as arrogance, thinking you are always right, looking down on others, and lacking trust in yourself or those around you—are all signs that you are not your true self.

The Radiance of the True Self

What, then, does the true self look like? It is kind, free from discrimination, and always thinking of the good in others. It is considerate, sensitive without being hurtful, compassionate, and approachable. The true self is filled with joy and Dharma joy. It is clear-minded yet non-judgmental. Even in silence, it carries a smile that brings peace and harmony to others. Like a warm sun, it embraces the faults of others. It knows how to be content and grateful, and when it makes a mistake, it is quick to repent and change its ways.

The true self is diligent and active. Even when it faces difficulties, obstacles, or trials, and even if it feels tired or sad, it knows how to rest, recover, and encourage itself. It maintains its spirit and continues to advance with diligent practice. This is your true self.

The Path of the Bodhisattva

The true self is steady, dignified, and bright-eyed. It possesses keen awareness and reacts with agility, drawing inferences and understanding the deeper meaning of the Dharma. It is spontaneous and sincere, acting selflessly for the benefit of all beings without a trace of selfishness or defilement. It is compassionate, joyful, and free. It practices the Six Paramitas: Generosity (Giving), Discipline (Precepts), Patience (Endurance), diligent practice, Meditation (Concentration), and Prajna wisdom.

There is not a single shred of selfishness or impurity here. It is selfless, without attachment, and focused entirely on helping beings leave suffering behind, reach Awakening, and be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This is the true self, the very appearance of an awakened being.

If you realise that many of the situations described here apply to you, please be careful and vigilant. Listen to the guidance of true spiritual friends. If you have personal habits or ego-driven tendencies, quickly repent, change your ways. Listen to sutras and hear the Dharma, repent your spiritual obstacles, and resolve the conflicts with your karmic creditors. Do not let yourself drift further away from the righteous path and your true nature, for it is only by returning to this state that you can truly find yourself again.