This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Venerable Master Sheng Yen, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now reflects upon his life and the heavy karmic debts he carries. This testimony was recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxi, on December 14, 2018.
Venerable Master Sheng Yen speaks:
". I am Sheng Yen. I have returned to appear before the public once more to share the truth of my situation. I wish for everyone to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. Do not cling to the traces of my past; what is revealed now is what you truly need to understand.
I have never seen so many sentient beings pointing towards me. Looking back on my life, I believed I was working for the benefit of all beings. I do not know why I accumulated so many karmic sins. There are so many layers of beings from throughout my many lives—I, Sheng Yen, find this burden truly unbearable. How could I have the face to see Namo Amituofo after the life I have lived?
The Weight of Unseen Debts
My body and mind remain fixed in the hearts of all the fourfold assembly of disciples at Drum Mountain. My path of practice has had a profound influence on them, but it is not as it appears on the surface. I have great shortcomings. I am truly heartbroken. My sense of shame and my desire to repent are beyond words. I have returned to tell you the truth: I want everyone to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. Do not cling to the traces of my past; what is revealed now is what you truly need to understand.
Why have I been unable to deliver my sentient beings? It is because my practice was not sufficiently upright. My heart still held onto 'self'; it was still tainted by my own thoughts and intentions. I was not worthy of being called a true monastic, for my great heart and great vows were insufficient to truly help sentient beings. Even though I did many good deeds in this life, they were not enough to make these beings willing to let go of their hatred and be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.
A Chance for Redemption
Today, thanks to the of the Buddha and the vast mind-capacity of Practitioner Su, I am finally able to truly see my invisible in the void. I have so many beings waiting for me—how could I possibly find peace in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss alone? Fortunately, with the permission of the Buddha, these beings now have the opportunity to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. What I could not accomplish in my entire lifetime, I am now able to achieve in such a magnificent way here at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. My heart is filled with gratitude.
I will certainly seize this opportunity to properly deliver these sentient beings. I hope that one day my disciples will know the truth of my existence. Right now, they have too many of their own ideas and attachments; it is difficult to break through them for the time being. Dharma Drum Mountain is a place with strict systems. All the monastics and lay practitioners share a consensus, which is why they are gathered there. Although they cannot yet identify with this place, I believe that one day, this karmic condition will be broken. I will remain here, waiting for my disciples to be willing to come and see their old teacher, Sheng Yen.
Gratitude and Final Reflections
I, the Buddha’s disciple Sheng Yen, sincerely bow in gratitude for the Buddha’s compassionate grace. I am deeply thankful to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre, Practitioner Su, and all the monastics and the fourfold assembly of disciples for their kindness. The Buddha is truly compassionate. I am filled with endless gratitude and moved beyond words for this karmic condition. Namo Amituofo."
