This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Venerable Master Sheng Yen, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Buddhist Centre in Australia. He reflects on his past life, his karmic debts, and his profound gratitude for the opportunity to finally guide his to the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This interview was recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxi, on December 14, 2018.
Venerable Master Sheng Yen speaks:
". I am Sheng Yen. Never in my life have I witnessed such a vast, overwhelming sea of sentient beings converging upon me. Looking back at my life, I always believed I was acting for the benefit of all, yet I am now confronted with the staggering reality of the sins I have accumulated. How could I have created so much karmic debt? Layer upon layer, throughout my many lives, these beings have been waiting for me. I, Sheng Yen, find this burden almost impossible to bear. With such a heavy heart, how could I possibly have the face to stand before Namo Amituofo?
My body and my mind have remained anchored within the hearts of all the fourfold assembly of disciples at Drum Mountain. My path of practice has left a profound impact on them, yet it was not as perfect as the image I projected to the world. I had such great shortcomings. I am truly heartbroken. The shame and the desire to repent are beyond words. I long to appear before the public once more to tell them the truth. I am Sheng Yen, and I want everyone to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. Do not remain attached to the various signs and traces I left behind in the past; what is manifesting now is what you truly need to understand."
The Weight of Unresolved
"Why was I unable to deliver my own karmic creditors? It is because my practice was not sufficiently upright. Within my heart, there still remained a sense of 'self.' I still carried my own thoughts and personal intentions. I was not yet worthy of being called a true monastic, because my great heart and my great vows were not enough to truly help all beings. Even though I performed many good deeds throughout my life, these were not enough to make the sentient beings willing to let go of their hatred and seek rebirth in the Western Pure Land.
Today, thanks to the of the Buddha and the vast mind-capacity of Practitioner Su, I am finally able to truly see my own invisible karmic creditors in the void. I have so many beings waiting for me—how could I possibly have the heart to enjoy peace in the Western Pure Land alone? Fortunately, I have received the Words of Namo Amituofo and the permission of the Buddha, allowing these beings the opportunity to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. Things I could not accomplish in my entire lifetime are now being completed so magnificently here at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. My heart is filled with such gratitude. I will certainly seize this opportunity to properly save these sentient beings.
A Final Hope for My Disciples
I also hope that one day, my disciples will come to know the truth of my existence. Right now, they have too many of their own ideas and stubborn attachments. It is difficult to break through those barriers all at once. Dharma Drum Mountain is a place with established systems; all the monastics and lay practitioners must share a consistent consensus to remain together. Although they cannot yet identify with this place, I believe that one day, this causal condition will surely be broken. I will remain here, waiting for my disciples to be willing to come here and see their old teacher, who is known as Sheng Yen.
I, the Buddha’s disciple Sheng Yen, sincerely bow in gratitude for the compassionate grace of the Buddha. I am deeply thankful to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre, Practitioner Su, and all the venerable monastics and the fourfold assembly for their kindness and compassion. The Buddha is truly compassionate. Sheng Yen is endlessly grateful for this causal condition, and I am moved beyond words. Namo Amituofo."
Written in tears by Sheng Yen at the end of 2018. Interview message recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxi.
