From Resentment to Rebirth: A Child's Journey Home

This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Hong Dabao, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his experience as an aborted spirit from the years 1994 to 1995. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on May 9, 2025.

Hong Dabao speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Hong Dabao. Father, Mother, I have finally arrived at the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. At this very moment, everything that once weighed so heavily upon my heart has been completely laid down. It is all gone.

A Life Denied

In this lifetime, I never had the chance to be born as a human being. When my mother decided to end my life, my spirit was filled with such intense resentment and profound sorrow. The very first thought that screamed through my heart, the question I desperately wanted to ask my mother, was: 'Why? Why did you have to sacrifice me?'

I have always had a difficult temperament. After enduring such unimaginable suffering, my heart was consumed by bitterness. I could not accept the way I was treated. I felt a deep, burning resentment toward my mother, and toward my father as well—I knew he had consented to her decision. But why? By what right did they decide my life? By what right did they have the power to alter my destiny? I was not willing to let it go. I was filled with such deep, unyielding indignation. It was a fire that would not go out.

The Shadow of Vengeance

Ever since my life was cut short, I have followed my mother everywhere. Sometimes, I would follow my father too. I did not want them to have a peaceful life; I wanted them to feel the same pain I felt, to live in instability, just so I could find some release for the hatred festering in my heart. But did it actually bring me any relief? Looking back now, it seems it did not. The hatred only chained me tighter to the darkness.

No matter how my parents lived their lives, or how their relationship changed over the years, it seemed to have no real impact on my own suffering. My heart remained just as bitter, just as agonisingly heavy. I lived in this state of misery for so long, trapped in a cycle of my own making.

The Golden Light of Compassion

I lived in this state of misery until, quite recently, my mother remembered me. She sought out Chao Du to help me. The moment I saw that brilliant golden light, I was absolutely stunned. I was shocked—what was this light? I could not react in time, but very quickly, I was guided by Practitioner Su into the Western Land of Dharma Nature.

Inside the Western Land of Dharma Nature, I listened to the Dharma. I listened to Practitioner Su giving Dharma talks, and later, I began to chant Namo Amituofo along with everyone else. I simply did whatever the others were doing. My heart became calmer and calmer, and within that stillness, I discovered a joy I had never known. I cannot find the words to clearly describe that feeling, but in short, it is truly wonderful. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding.

The Path to Ultimate Bliss

Now, I have made a firm decision to stay in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. I know that only by being here can I completely and thoroughly leave all suffering behind. I am so deeply grateful to Practitioner Su for bringing me here, and I am also grateful to my mother for not forgetting me. Namo Amituofo."