Laughing at Life: A Scholar’s Journey to Awakening

This is a record of an interview with the 133rd Venerable, Yin Zong, who lived approximately 450 years ago. He sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia and now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on May 15, 2019.

Venerable Yin Zong speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I do not know how long I had been asleep, but suddenly, a warmth spread across my back. My mother whispered to me, 'If you are tired from your studies, go back to bed. Do not sleep slumped over the desk; you will ruin your health. You still have a long road ahead of you in this life.' The candle on the desk was still burning, its flame dancing in the gentle breeze. I looked at the scrolls before me once more, but my eyes were so weary that the characters blurred into tiny black dots. I quickly blew out the candle, not wanting to waste its precious light. As I prepared to stand, I realised my legs had gone numb—I had been asleep for quite some time.

I put away the scrolls and sat cross-legged on the bed, leaning against the wall. I had maintained this sleeping posture for a long time, specifically to prevent myself from sleeping too deeply. By sitting this way, I would naturally wake up around the third watch of the night. However, my body had grown accustomed to this position, and even at the third watch, I could not rouse myself. To ensure I did not oversleep, I placed several small beads under the bed. They made it impossible to sit comfortably; while they were bearable for a short rest, sitting on them all night caused my hips to ache. I used this method to jolt myself awake with pain, allowing me to remain alert during the third watch and bury myself in the scrolls once more.

The Discipline of a Dedicated Scholar

If I felt drowsy while reading, I would emulate the ancients by tying my hair to the ceiling beam; the moment I nodded off, the tug on my scalp would force me to wake. On nights when the world was silent and empty, I would even strip down to a single thin layer of clothing and run through the biting cold wind. This method was the most effective, allowing me to stay awake for several hours without succumbing to sleep.

I was an only child. My parents were poor and could only afford to raise me. Both were illiterate; they never had the chance to learn a single character. Born into extreme poverty, they had to work from the age of five, earning meagre wages just to help the family survive. Education was a luxury that was simply impossible for them. Although my father had no money, my mother loved him for his honesty. Even though my father was blind, my mother was willing to be his eyes, caring for him for their entire lives.

A Mother’s Sacrifice for the Future

From the moment I was born, I saw my mother working incessantly. She handled everything, inside and outside the home. She carried the responsibilities of both a husband and a wife, and after finishing her work outside, she would return home to manage the household chores. I saw all of her hardships. To help lighten her burden, I began helping with housework at the age of four. I did everything I could so that she would not have to worry about the home.

When my mother told me she had saved enough money for me to attend school, I was stunned. I asked her, 'Mother, our family situation is not good. How could you possibly have money for my education?' She replied, 'I am illiterate, and I married your father. I have worked my entire life. I do not want my child to be like me—to have no chance to study as a child and be forced into manual labour as an adult. I have been frugal and saved for many years to accumulate this money. It should be enough for you to study for a few years, at least to learn some characters, so you do not end up like your father and me, unable to do anything better than menial work.' At first, I declined, not wanting her to suffer so much for my sake, but she insisted. To avoid causing her distress, I chose to obey her.

The Weight of Ambition and Expectations

I did not know if I truly liked studying, but I treated it as my duty. Only through education could I change the generational poverty of my family. My mother did not want me to remain poor, so she insisted I study. I studied with great intensity. When children my age were still sleeping, I was already up and reading. When they were out playing, I was already at my desk. I told myself that I must never let down my parents' efforts. I had to excel and earn a high official position to bring honour to my ancestors. I was not a naturally gifted child. Where others could memorise a scroll after one reading, I had to read it three or four times, and even then, I could not recite it as fluently as they could.

The peers from my private school would walk past my home and deliberately raise their voices, shouting through the window, 'The fool is reading again! Tell me, is the fool reading the book, or is the book reading the fool? The more he reads, the less he understands! Hahaha!' My parents heard every word. To spare them pain, I pretended not to hear and continued to bury myself in my studies.

The Breaking Point of Exhaustion

One night, I was so drowsy that I fell asleep after reading only a few words. To wake myself, I stripped off my upper garments, exposing my bare skin to the biting, freezing wind of the night. I kept a basin of ice water beside me; whenever I dozed off, I would plunge my head into the basin and splash the freezing water over my chest and back. The sudden chill would make my entire body shudder, forcing me to wake up completely. Unexpectedly, my mother came to check on me in the middle of the night. As soon as she opened the door, she saw me studying with my upper body bare, the windows wide open, and snow falling outside. I was shivering violently, yet I forced myself to continue reading. She quickly wrapped a quilt around me, trembling with worry, 'I only want you to do your best! I do not want you to lose your life over this! How can you study without clothes in such freezing snow?'

Then, she saw the ice water and the awl I kept nearby to prick my legs whenever I felt sleepy. She said with a broken heart, 'Stop reading! Stop! Is this studying, or is this torture? You are my only precious son; I cannot bear to see you like this!' Seeing her distress, I comforted her, 'Mother, do not worry. Many famous statesmen of the past achieved their success through such hardship. My efforts are not even a fraction of theirs. If they could do it, I believe I can too.' Her expression still showed deep concern, so I stood up and moved my body vigorously to show her I was healthy and she need not worry. After much reassurance, she finally returned to her room, and I sat back at my desk, unwilling to waste a single moment.

The Illusion of Worldly Success

After more than a decade of bitter study, the day of the results finally arrived. I walked toward the wall where the list was posted, my heart pounding. From afar, I heard the cheers of those who had passed, and I watched many dejected people walk past me—they were the failed candidates. I walked forward step by step, feeling both nervous and excited. Ten years! I thought of those ten years; I had not spent a moment away from my desk. Now, it was time for the verdict. Before I left, my father had said, 'I have seen you work so hard for so many years. Today, I will host a feast to celebrate!' My mother had added happily, 'I know you will be on that list! We have waited so long; our family is finally going to turn its fortunes around.' Seeing their joy, I felt happy too.

When I reached the list, a crowd was already gathered. I finally squeezed to the front and carefully scanned every name, from the top to the bottom, and then from the bottom to the top again. My heart sank from excitement to tension, and from tension to despair. I asked myself in agony, 'Why is my name not here?' My dejected expression and listless demeanour made it obvious to everyone that I had failed. My steps were heavy, and I felt as though I could barely walk. I did not want to return home immediately because I did not know how to face my parents. They were waiting for good news; perhaps my father had already begun preparing the feast.

The Mockery of the Arrogant

Just then, I heard familiar laughter. It was the group of wealthy, naturally gifted children who often mocked me. They rarely studied and spent their days playing, yet they had passed! One of the top-scoring peers laughed loudly at me, 'Ten years of bitter study, and no one knows your name. Who knows the sorrow of failing the exam? Hahaha!' Another successful peer said, 'Looking up to the sky and sighing, alone in sorrow, wishing for a pot of wine to drown my sorrows. I am so happy today! Tell me how many pots you want! Consider it me sharing my joy with you! Hahaha!' Every word was like a needle. I did not respond and kept walking. Their laughter grew louder, 'He’s angry! Look, the fool can get angry too! Isn't the fool supposed to just be a fool? Hahaha!' I walked faster and faster, desperate to escape, not wanting to hear another sound.

I walked for a long time until I reached a deserted area. I slowed down, kicking at the dust on the ground. As the wind blew, the dust swirled upward. I picked up a small stone, kicking the dust while throwing the stone forward, feeling both frustrated and sorrowful. I could not calm my heart. I worried about disappointing my parents and was angry at my own stupidity. I had studied so much and still failed. I had even compared myself to the ancients in front of my mother—what a fool I was!

A Chance Encounter with Wisdom

Suddenly, I heard someone shout, 'Ouch!' I looked up and realised I had thrown the stone at someone! I had thrown it with great force because I was thinking about how much money my mother had spent on me, only for me to fail. I was so angry at my own incompetence that I had thrown the stone with all my might, not seeing the person lying on the ground. The stone had hit him right in the stomach! He was rubbing his belly in pain, muttering, 'Who has no conscience? Throwing stones at me! Ouch! It hurts!' I rushed forward to apologise, 'I am sorry, I am sorry. I did not see you lying here. I am so sorry.'

The man looked up at me and asked, 'Is the sky about to collapse?' I shook my head. He asked again, 'Is the earth about to crack open?' I shook my head again. He jumped up excitedly and said, 'Then what is the meaning of this look on your face, as if the sky were falling?' I hung my head in silence, my fingers twitching. He said impatiently, 'I have never seen a man so timid. If you have something to say, say it! Why hesitate?' Forced to speak, I thought, 'He does not know me anyway.' So I told him, 'I failed the exam...' I expected him to comfort me, but he burst into loud laughter. He laughed until he was doubled over, clutching his stomach, tears streaming down his face. I looked at him, bewildered. What was so funny? I asked angrily, 'Is my failure really something to laugh at?'

Seeing my face flushed with anger, he laughed even harder. He pointed at me and said, 'Look at you, look at you, hahahaha!' I remained silent, waiting for him to finish. Seeing my expressionless face, he felt his laughter was unappreciated and stopped. He found a large rock, sat down, and said, 'Do you know why I am laughing?' I shouted, 'Are you not laughing at my uselessness, at my failure?' He shook his head and sighed, 'Alas, young man! Do you know how ignorant you are? I am laughing at your ignorance!' I asked, 'You say I am ignorant?' He nodded, 'Yes! Ignorant! Your expression just now made me think the sky was falling, but it turns out it is just the trivial matter of failing an exam!'

The Dream of the Underworld

I was furious, 'Trivial matter! Do you know how much money my mother spent? How long I studied? And yet, no name on the list! How can I face my parents? They are at home waiting for good news!' The man said loudly, 'What could be better news than failing the exam?' I asked in shock, 'What did you say? Failing is good news?' He nodded, 'Of course!' I laughed, 'You must be confused! Ten years of study is for the sake of fame. How can failing be good news?' He replied, 'That is why all the scholars in the world are fools!' I said, 'I have heard that word before. My arrogant peers call me a fool every day. Why do you call me one too?'

He said, 'I say all scholars are fools, not just you. Even those who laugh at you are fools! Who would fight to the death for the false fame of this world?' I looked at his tattered clothes and said, 'You have never been an official; how can you understand the taste of power?' He asked, 'How do you know I have never been an official?' I replied, 'Looking at your clothes and your tone, I know you are far removed from the world of officials.' He laughed again, 'Hahaha! It seems my transformation was successful!' I did not understand, and he continued, 'Do you know that fifty years ago, I was the magistrate of this very county?'

I looked at him in disbelief, 'Are you joking? How could a magistrate look like this?' He said, 'I was once a young man, too. I had grand ideals and ambitions. I spent half my life fighting for the most brilliant, peak life. I stood proudly at the summit, looking back at my fifty years, when on the night of my greatest triumph, I had a dream. In the dream, I was taken to the underworld. The ghost messengers told me my lifespan had ended; today was my last day. I was stunned. I had fought for half a lifetime, and before I could even enjoy it, I was told my time was up! What was the point of all my hard work? I had been a magistrate for less than a day, and now I had to abdicate? Did my fame as a magistrate have any use in the underworld?'

A Second Chance at Life

The ghost messengers told me, 'Whether you are a magistrate or the Emperor, it is all a fleeting dream in the human world. Coming here is the true reality.' No matter how I begged, I could not change the past fifty years. Just as I was in the depths of regret and pain, the messenger told me I had a chance to extend my life. I asked how. He said, 'You performed a great deed in the past. When you were a commoner, you saw a flaw in the construction of a levee and petitioned the officials to rebuild it. But the corrupt officials wanted to embezzle the funds and ignored you. You spent three years raising the money yourself, and after five years of effort, you successfully rebuilt the levee. Two years later, a disaster struck. All the people were grateful to you; without that levee, countless lives would have been lost. Because of this merit, your lifespan can be extended.'

I recalled that event from forty years ago. I never thought such a 'trivial' act would save my life today! The messenger told me, 'The King of Hell has extended your life by ten years. You are fifty now; you will live to sixty. How you spend the rest of your life is your choice.' I was so grateful that I woke up from the dream. That night, I looked at my wife, my children, my room full of scrolls, and the plaque my friends gave me for becoming a magistrate. I laughed. I laughed because none of these things could be taken with me, yet I had cherished them like treasures! After that night, I decided to let go of everything. My wife supported my decision, and I spent five years searching for the most valuable life. I realised that in my fifty years, it was only in these last ten that I truly lived. I began to study Buddhism, finding the light of life in the Dharma. I practised what the Buddha taught in my daily life. I spent my last five years diligently studying and introducing the Dharma to others, sharing my life experiences with those who are struggling in this world. Now that I see you, I laugh again, laughing that I have met another fool like me. Having heard my story, do you still want to walk the path I walked?'

The Path of the Dharma

I was truly shocked. I had never thought about the day I would die; death seemed so far away for a young man. But hearing the old man, I realised death was not far at all—perhaps it would come tomorrow. He introduced me to the Dharma, and when I understood its magnificence, I laughed with him. I laughed at myself for being a fool for over a decade, a fool living in the world without seeking liberation, a fool who still wanted to remain in the cycle of rebirth. I resolved to study Buddhism like him. He took me to the temple, and when I saw people my age who had been practising for over a decade, I finally understood what Wisdom was. Those who are truly wise are like these monks—renouncing the world to study Buddhism and save all sentient beings.

I returned home quickly. My parents saw my radiant face and asked happily, 'Did you pass?' I asked, 'What list?' My mother said, 'Did you not just go to check the results?' Only then did I remember that unimportant matter. I had already cast it aside. Now, my heart was set on studying the Dharma, like these monks, to spread the teachings and deliver sentient beings. I told my parents about meeting this noble person, and they found it hard to believe. Seeing that I was not sad about failing and was instead eager to study Buddhism, they were happy for me. They had seen my hardships over the years, and in the end, they realised it was all for nothing. They understood that such efforts were not worth it. Now that I chose the path of Buddhism, they gave their full support. They watched me enter the temple to practise, and three years later, I became a monk. They were happy to see this, rejoicing for me and for all sentient beings.

A Life of Service

I laugh as I look back on my life. One can be a 'useful' person or a 'useless' one. A truly useful person is one who has no 'self'. I chose to let go of myself and focus on saving sentient beings until the moment of my passing, when I will leap into the void and be reborn in the Western Pure Land forever.

Practitioner Su’s body and mind are empty. Living in this world now, one could say it is merely a game. He leaves this body in the world to act on behalf of the Buddha to save the world, using this body to its fullest potential, realising the Dharma Body to save the immeasurable and boundless sentient beings throughout the entire Dharma Realm and empty space.

The beings in the universe never thought they would have a day of salvation. With a gentle wave of Practitioner Su’s Dharma Body, countless beings who wished for salvation were all taken away by him. Golden light fills the entire universe, shining wider and deeper. Many practitioners with high levels of skill never imagined that someone from the human world would come to the universe to perform Chao Du. Their original arrogance vanished in that moment, and they bowed down to Practitioner Su in complete admiration.

For thirty years, Practitioner Su has practised truthfully, attaining his current skills. This vow and perseverance in practice are unmatched in the world. This is not to encourage comparison, but to encourage everyone. This heart for sentient beings is worthy of everyone’s learning. I hope everyone will strive together to realise the Dharma Body and save all beings. That immeasurable and boundless beings can be saved is the most magnificent thing of all. Namo Amituofo."

This interview was recorded by the Buddhist disciple Shi Fajing.