The Empress Dowager's Confession: From Power to Pure Land

This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Empress Dowager Cixi, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. She now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon her life as the ruler of the Qing Dynasty. Recorded by the chief writer, Fa Ning, on April 23, 2026.

Empress Dowager Cixi speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. It is a profound honour to meet with you all once again. Greetings to you, Practitioner Su, and greetings to everyone present.

I am the Empress Dowager Cixi from those bygone days, and today I accept this interview at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. This is the very first time I have participated in such a formal interview to share my story with the world. I have been looking forward to this moment with great anticipation, for it is finally an opportunity for me to repent for the many transgressions I committed during my lifetime.

A Long-Awaited Opportunity for Repentance

The Cixi of today is no longer the Cixi of the past. However, throughout this interview, I will refer to myself as 'Cixi' to make it easier for you to understand the events that occurred when the spirit now known as 'Miaoyin' was still the Empress Dowager. I intend to speak with complete honesty, so that all the people of China may know the truth of my actions. As we look back on the path I walked, one might ask: why did I say and do the things I did? Was it my own mindset that led to the decisions that pushed the Great Qing Dynasty into such a state of ruin? Am I truly responsible for the collapse? I am certain that many of you have these very questions. Today, I will tell you everything without reservation.

My state of mind at this moment is vastly different from what it was in the past. When I think back to the Empress Dowager I once was, it still sends a chill down my spine. Since my spirit has been purified, I have been able to see through the entirety of the past and the present, and I have come to understand that everything is governed by the laws of karma and cause and effect. If people still carry heavy karma and fail to abide by the Universal Principle, the Truth, and the Right Way, they will continue to tumble within the massive vortex of the cycle of rebirth. Their actions are essentially being led by the nose. If one does not break free from the body of karma or attempt to change, they end up like me—my own powerful mental notes and desires led countless beings astray, and I took charge of my own destiny in a way that, looking back, is truly tragic. This body committed so many evil deeds, which in turn caused this spirit to suffer endless torment.

The Reality of Karmic Retribution

Many people share similar experiences to mine. The history of China over these thousands of years is truly complex, and from here, I can see it all clearly. I also know that Practitioner Su, guided by Namo Amituofo, has conducted all the Chao Du ceremonies that have saved so many souls. Having resided in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss for such a long time now, I can truly say that I am incredibly fortunate.

Ten years ago, I was rescued by Practitioner Su of the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre, who brought Namo Amituofo to the hells to perform Chao Du. When Practitioner Su guided me to chant while I was suffering in hell, I recited 'Namo Amituofo' just once, and I was immediately able to escape those depths and arrive here in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. My desire to escape was overwhelming, for the hells are truly terrifying—a horror that no living person could ever imagine. I suffered in several different hells, including the Blood Pool Hell, the Heart-Gouging Hell, the Ice Hell, and the Amputation Hell. I rotated through these different realms, enduring various forms of torture. I suffered in those endless, agonising conditions for over a hundred years. When I look back, I have to ask myself: just how much evil did I commit to deserve such horrific retribution?

The Transformation of a Young Woman

My life was one of great highs and lows. My mindset gradually became increasingly selfish; I spent my entire life clinging to power and status, and my desire to compete grew ever stronger. In truth, I was once a simple, innocent girl in my youth. But everything changed the moment I was sent into the imperial harem and became a noble lady for the Xianfeng Emperor. The world of the harem was incredibly complex. The things I saw and heard caused a profound shift in my character. The kindness that was originally in my heart was gradually covered over, replaced by a desperate desire to stand out from the crowd. The harem of the Qing Dynasty was a 'kill or be killed' world, where people would do the most unimaginable things just to climb the ranks. My heart changed again, and once the deep-seated selfishness and jealousy within me were ignited, I could never return to the simple person I once was. The values I set for myself were that I must be powerful—more powerful than anyone else. Whether it was the strength of my outward appearance or the strength of my inner resolve, I had to present the most perfect face to the world. I also had to possess a sharp, clever mind just to survive in the harem without being destroyed.

The Burden of Absolute Power

Perhaps I had sufficient blessings at the time, for when the Xianfeng Emperor was struggling to produce an heir, I gave birth to his first son. From there, I climbed the ranks smoothly, gaining his trust and affection. This ego, this sense of self, grew more and more powerful until it became uncontrollable and bloated. After the Xianfeng Emperor passed away, I became a widow at the age of only twenty-six. I was faced with the pressure of the court officials, a young emperor, and countless other burdens. I did not want my son, the Tongzhi Emperor, to suffer any grievances, and because he was so young, I did not want to see the officials make all the decisions for him, causing him to lose his authority. That initial intention—to secure a bit of power for my son—eventually transformed into a desire to secure even greater power for myself. As my greed expanded, I did indeed eliminate those around me who did not align with my interests or who stood in my way, and I began my reign as the Empress Dowager who ruled from behind the curtain.

This is the impression history has of Cixi; for decades, I was indeed the Empress Dowager ruling from behind the curtain. At the time, I knew a little about the Buddha’s teachings, but I did not understand the Truth of the Dharma. I loved to invite famous monks and virtuous people to the palace in my spare time to offer me guidance, or to bring in people of various talents and backgrounds to explain the affairs of the world to me. Looking back now, Cixi was a woman who lacked a sense of security but projected an image of immense power. This insecurity defined my entire life, and it meant that whenever I made a decision, I considered only my own comfort and sense of security. Of course, through my efforts, there was a brief period of prosperity for the nation. However, I often failed to employ virtuous officials, and I listened to the slanderous words of the petty people around me. I believed them, and this led to a chain of mistakes where one wrong step followed another.

A Legacy of Suffering and Regret

The taste of power was intoxicating at the time. I felt that the frustrations I had harboured in my early years could finally be vented—vented upon different people and vented through the affairs of the state. It felt exhilarating. I felt as though I had the ultimate authority to decide the direction of the country and the life and death of its people. By then, I was certainly no longer a person who held the Buddha in her heart. Benevolence, righteousness, and moral foundations had long been cast aside, replaced by a person driven solely by self-interest. Because I lacked the wisdom and the rationality to distinguish right from wrong, I was easily manipulated by those around me. This was truly my defining characteristic.

Later, I even placed my trust in the 'Boxer' uprising, allowing them to slaughter foreign businessmen and diplomats in Beijing and destroy their homes. In an instant, these foreigners were either killed or forced to flee. This infuriated the foreign powers, who saw that the Qing Dynasty was vulnerable and decided to launch a full-scale invasion to seek 'justice.' This was a profoundly foolish decision on my part. For years, foreign powers had used various excuses—such as wanting to participate in trade markets—to engage in unfair trade within the Qing borders, the most well-known being the Opium War. Yet, I continued to turn a blind eye to these abuses and the suffering of the people.

I lived through the reigns of several emperors, from my husband, the Xianfeng Emperor, to the period when I held the reins of power during my son's reign, the Tongzhi Emperor. But my son's life was cut tragically short, forcing me to place the Guangxu Emperor on the throne and continue my rule from behind the curtain. With every political shift, I manipulated the situation and eliminated many political rivals. Not to mention, because of my own personal desires and greed, I pushed policies that served only my own interests, causing countless deaths among the civilians of China. The killing karma created directly or indirectly by these actions left my body and mind burdened with immense debt. My many souls were already suffering retribution in the hells, though I was unaware of it at the time. I suffered from endless illnesses that no physician could cure. As soon as one ailment was treated, another would flare up. I was often bedridden, or my body would break out in mysterious, agonising, and intensely itchy sores. These constant afflictions left me in a state of utter despair. Yet, even in my deepest despair, I clung to my power, refusing to let go, hoping to live forever and see the Qing Dynasty rise again. But if one truly wishes for a nation to rise, should the welfare of the people not come first? Everything I did was the exact opposite of the result I desired. Cixi feels deep shame, and I am truly repentant for all the wrongs I committed in the past. When China stood at a major historical crossroads, facing the encroachment of foreign powers and the conflicts between local and foreign cultures, I did not choose to communicate effectively or seek a harmonious arrangement. Instead, I chased after personal power, leading the country step by step toward decay. This decay resulted in the loss of tens of millions of lives. Millions upon millions of people perished in various wars and uprisings. It was a waste of resources and a tragedy that left so many regions depopulated, for truly, too many people died."

Namo Amituofo.

Looking back at those scenes now, I realise that I was completely blinded. I had no idea how much suffering the people in front of me were enduring. I was lost in my own bubble, and those were the years when I was most severely controlled; I was utterly oblivious to the misery of the civilians.

If I could have known a little more back then, perhaps I would have taken different measures to make amends. But I was completely obstructed. There was no one left around me whom I could trust, and even the Qing Dynasty no longer trusted me, the Empress Dowager Cixi. In that situation, I was on the verge of a total breakdown. My once lofty, superior status had vanished in an instant, leaving the entire nation full of criticism and disdain for me, while I had no one left whom I was willing to trust.

A Descent into the Hells

In that state of extreme sorrow and profound insecurity during my final years, I drew my last breath and went straight to report to the hells. The days spent undergoing punishment in the hells were, as one might imagine, filled with extreme pain and helplessness. In the Hell of Ice, in particular, I wailed in agony amidst the frozen mountains and snowy plains. Although my physical body did not suffer actual damage, the torture of that intense cold was truly a state where life was worse than death—I wanted to die but could not, and I could only endure the endless, freezing torment. I thought of my own cold-heartedness back then, how I had seized power out of insecurity and killed so many people, or how the policies I enacted had caused countless others to lose their sense of safety. This lonely, desolate heart of mine endured infinite suffering within that icy hell.

Later, I truly do not know how long I suffered those punishments. After a long period of despair, I finally received a ray of light and was granted an opportunity for rebirth. As mentioned earlier, within that light, I was brought directly to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss by the Practitioner Su of that time—the one everyone now calls Buddha Su.

The Mercy of Namo Amituofo

All these changes left me feeling overwhelmed and honoured. I had thought that because I had committed so many sins and killed so many people in history, I was destined to continue suffering retribution. Perhaps my sentence had been served, but I was unexpectedly able to arrive in such a magnificent world. I knew it was the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. When I was Empress Dowager Cixi, I already had a certain understanding of the Buddha’s teachings, so I was very clear and certain that what I saw before me matched the descriptions in the sutras.

Namo Amituofo looked at me with such compassion that I immediately knelt down to beg for the Buddha’s forgiveness and for a chance to be reborn. The Buddha seemed to nod, knowing everything that had happened throughout my many lives. My arrival in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss this time was to allow me to practice diligently and transform myself here. Perhaps one day I will need to return to the human world to repay these karmic debts, or if I can become more diligent and realise my true nature to attain Buddhahood, reaching the Land of Eternally Quiescent Light, I could return to the human world as an awakened being to save all the beings I once harmed.

The Burden of the Past

I know I must achieve the latter. Without the skills to realise my true nature and attain Buddhahood, I would not dare to risk returning to the human world. There are too many beings there waiting for me with gnashing teeth; I am very clear about that. When I was in the human world, I already felt this force coming to collect debts from me, and in the hells, it goes without saying that I spent every moment repaying those debts. Only upon arriving in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss did my heart finally feel truly stable and peaceful.

The fact that Namo Amituofo personally gives lectures and provides Buddhist education to everyone in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss truly shocked me. When I was Empress Dowager Cixi, I always assumed that I understood many principles of the Buddha’s teachings and that I knew a great deal, so I once thought I had achieved something on the path of practicing Buddhism. Ha! Thinking about it now, it is truly ridiculous! At the time, I only enjoyed finding eminent monks and virtuous teachers to explain things to me, hoping to resolve the various anxieties in my heart. Many of the so-called eminent monks I sought out were actually just humoring me. When they listened to my heart’s troubles and helped me resolve them, not one of them was sincere.

A True Spiritual Friend

However, during my years as Empress Dowager Cixi, I did indeed meet one old monk who sincerely wanted to contribute to the Qing Dynasty. My admiration for him remains to this day. He was the Venerable Master Hsu Yun, who was also later guided to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss by Buddha Su. He was a monk with great practice! He was an awakened being at the time, already able to open his eyes and see all the spiritual states of this vast universe. Back then, I was half-believing and half-doubting, not knowing if he could truly do such things, but from his speech and conduct, I knew his virtue was very high and very steady, and he could give me many good suggestions that truly showed compassion for the civilians.

But my own suspicious nature prevented me from truly taking his words to heart. As a monk who wished to save the world and benefit the people, he was not very old at the time; considering he lived to be one hundred and twenty, his body was only in its middle years. I consulted him on many major state affairs; I adopted some, but because of my own cowardice and selfishness, I ignored others as if they were just wind blowing past my ears. In my later years, I did feel regret, knowing that his loyal advice—though hard to hear—could have saved the Qing Dynasty. But all of that has already passed.

Today, in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, he looks very dignified, quite similar to how he appeared in the human world, and he is very compassionate and full of Wisdom.

The Path to True Wisdom

Therefore, speaking of the Buddhist education I have received since arriving in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, my heart is filled with emotion. I am also grateful that I was someone with a Buddhist affinity, even though it was covered up by my strong personality and worldly pollution. Now that I have arrived here, it can be said that the clouds have parted to reveal the moon. The Buddha’s teachings that Namo Amituofo imparts to everyone are such simple principles, yet they contain the great Wisdom of all the Truth and righteous paths in the universe.

My mistakes back then lay in allowing my personality to grow larger and larger, step by step, without self-restraint or any intention to change. When there is no true spiritual friend around, it is very easy for people in the world to fall into the same misunderstandings and blind spots as I did; this is a very common situation in today’s society. Looking around, in the world today, only Buddha Su can truly shoulder the great responsibility of saving the world. Among those with physical bodies in the human world, Buddha Su is the only one who has realised his true nature and attained Buddhahood, who can freely travel to and from the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, and who, with the skills of the Dharma Body, can perform Chao Du to save immeasurable and boundless beings back to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. Everyone must take Buddha Su as their lifelong true spiritual friend!

Of course, Buddha Su also says that we must all follow Namo Amituofo, and that is absolutely correct. Buddha Su’s entire life has been spent honestly following the Buddha’s teachings, not daring to have any bias, not daring to have any personal opinions, which is why he has been able to practice to the point where he can now, like the Buddha, open his eyes and become a Buddha who saves immeasurable suffering beings. All Buddhas walk the same path; the hearts of all Buddhas are equally the most compassionate. And it is because Buddha Su is honest and truly practices that he has achieved what he has today.

A Final Plea

Cixi now also advises the people of the human world that being honest and sincere is extremely important. When people in the world mix too many of their own ideas into their words and actions, becoming impure, that is when the demon crowds and other beings can strongly control and use them. I was in that exact situation myself. Looking back at all of this now, times have changed, and there is no need to be overly emotional about the past. Returning to the side of the Buddha is the most peaceful, the most beautiful, and the most real thing. Everything is an illusion; once things have passed, let them be. Grasping the present moment is the most important thing.

Finally, Cixi would like to say