The General's Remorse: A Life of Blood and Shadow

This is a record of an interview with Sun Jian, who sought Spiritual Deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Dharma-Nature Land. This account reflects upon his life approximately 1,835 years ago. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa-Ru, on March 31, 2026.

Sun Jian speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. The star of Sun Jian has fallen from the heavens, my blade-won souls gathered before me. My spirit was shrouded in the dark, forbidden halls of hell, my countless acts of slaughter never truly my own desire. My sentence was briefly suspended, yet the debt of my killing remains far from settled. When my physical life ended, the flowers of my ambition withered, and I was cast into the cycle of the ephemeral, dying and being reborn ten thousand times over in the span of a single day.

The Arrogance of Youth

They say that if a man is not reckless in his youth, he has wasted his life! I believed that to exist in this world was to carve out a legacy of glorious military achievement. In that era of chaos, the only way to rise above the rest was through my own martial prowess and the crushing of my enemies. I was incredibly confident in myself. Although I had little military experience in my early years, I was a keen observer. I knew that to shatter an opposing army, one could not afford to lose in terms of sheer momentum and courage. The education I received was simple: to survive in those times, one had to rely entirely on one's own strength.

I believed that I needed to possess extraordinary daring and martial strategy to truly command respect. It was only because of my brilliant victories that people were willing to follow and surrender to me. That was my understanding of society. I understood this principle from a very young age, and I spent my life actively honing my martial arts and physical endurance. I constantly imagined myself on the battlefield, slaughtering the enemy. In the environment of that time, such things were common—conflicts with local uprisings, tribal clashes, or the rise of various bandits were everywhere.

A Hunger for Glory

I hoped that one day I would join the state and become a member of the official army, helping the nation maintain stability and peace around our home. One trains for a thousand days to use that skill for a single moment. From my childhood, I prepared for the battlefield, always waiting for the opportunity to make my mark. When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I already wanted to stand up and fight against the bandits and pirates. But because I was still young, I decided not to rush. I believed I should refine my energy and physique to a certain level before I could truly achieve great military success.

At seventeen, I encountered pirates raiding a merchant ship. I stepped forward and achieved my first major victory, which made me famous overnight. I never expected to be so successful, but the local government took notice and appointed me as a minor official. At the time, this was extremely common: anyone with some martial skill and enough courage had the chance to represent the local government in suppressing regional unrest. I seized every opportunity to stand out, putting my long-trained skills to the test. From then on, I followed the old ways, constantly grasping for more chances. Relying on my martial expertise, I pacified many local rebellions.

The Illusion of Power

These small-scale local uprisings were composed of militia and bandits who had never received professional military training. They lacked military quality. These temporarily assembled troops were scattered and lacked cohesion. Compared to the righteousness I represented on behalf of the government, the gap in strength was immense, so the result of our battles was always obvious. Because the enemy lacked effective training and professional leadership, these insurgent armies were easily crushed by me. These small battles were won through personal martial arts and daring, and in that regard, I held a significant advantage.

I continued to use these opportunities to build my reputation and accumulate merit, and my official rank rose steadily. This was the experience of a man building his fortune from nothing. As for the more challenging, large-scale rebellions, they did not appear until I was nearly thirty years old. The Yellow Turban Rebellion shook the entire country; it was a deafening roar that everyone knew. The scale of the Yellow Turban Army was massive, with tens of thousands of militia rising up at once, their arrogance and momentum overwhelming. The imperial court mobilized many generals to different regions to destroy and slaughter these rebels, and I participated in this, earning great military merit.

The Weight of Karmic Debt

Although the Yellow Turban Army was numerous, it was still composed of scattered militia. Some joined to rise in status, while others were forced to join because of extreme poverty and having no other way to survive. Regardless, these untrained rebels were easily annihilated by the regular government troops. The generals sent by the government had a clear approach: whether capturing them alive or slaughtering them, the goal was to pacify the Yellow Turban Rebellion as quickly as possible. I participated in many battles to suppress them and was promoted to the rank of Biebu Sima.

After I pacified Qu Xing, I was appointed as the Administrator of Changsha, which laid the foundation for my development there. While I had the intention to govern the region, chaos was erupting everywhere. I was so busy suppressing uprisings and disasters that I had no time to manage internal affairs. I continued to campaign everywhere, accumulating merit. I knew I had to seize the opportunity to turn my life around completely. Only by continuously building merit and recruiting talent could I secure my position. In such a chaotic era, any talk of righteousness or legitimacy was merely an excuse for various factions to attack one another. The one who truly held military power and could win the hearts of the people was the one who truly possessed the world.

My goal was very clear: to rise up in this chaotic world and transform my family from nobodies without military power into regional hegemons. I knew I was in the pioneering stage, but my hard work would not be in vain. I wanted to build a foundation of military merit for my descendants and pave the way for them to dominate the region later. I took advantage of my youth and courage to win the recognition of the imperial court, using various official titles to recruit troops and buy horses. This was my strategy.

I never expected that I would lose my life on the battlefield while still so young. My two children were still small, and I had not yet built a foundation for them before I passed away. After I died, I did not think much of it. My spirit went directly to hell. The King of Hell made me watch scenes of my life, the various ways I had slaughtered enemy soldiers, and some things I had not done in this lifetime, but I knew they were deeds I had committed in the past. I understood in an instant that the heroism on the battlefield was only a fleeting, superficial glory. After death, these countless souls would come to demand their due from me. I looked back at my final battle; my spirit was already suffering in hell, and I was surrounded by countless spirits who interfered with my clarity of mind, causing me to misjudge the situation. I pursued the enemy in a frenzy and ultimately fell into their trap, losing my life. The immeasurable and boundless spirits who resented me did not let me go because of my death; they were all waiting in the halls of hell for me to be sentenced.

I spent my life slaughtering countless lives on the battlefield, and I was constantly planning how to wipe out more factions. All of this created immeasurable and boundless negative karma. I saw the scenes of myself slaughtering the enemy, and I saw my own ruthlessness and lack of compassion. I suddenly woke up and could not help but wonder: Why was I so heartless in killing? This was a question I had never considered. I had always been on the front lines, thinking only of how to cut off more heads, never once thinking: Is this bloodthirsty, heartless person really me? Following the judgment, I went to the various hells to suffer my punishment. My lifespan was not long, but I participated in many wars and campaigns, slaughtering countless enemies. When I was suffering in hell, the number of my evil deeds naturally manifested, and my sentence was calculated at one thousand two hundred years.

When my sentence was served, I did not even know how long I had been suffering. The King of Hell ordered me to be reborn as a tiny creature, living in the morning and dying in the evening. My life was extremely fragile. I do not know how long those days lasted. My spirit was not clear; I only knew that every time I was reborn, I had a chance to get a little sunlight, absorb a little nourishment from the water, and maintain a short life. But soon, my whole body would be weak, exhausted, and my life would vanish once again. I waited in the dark space, cold and powerless, for the next round of birth.

I spent an unknown number of years as such a tiny creature. In my memory, a vast and boundless light shone down. I seemed to have left the space where the small creatures lived and arrived at the place where the golden light gathers, which is where I am now. It is very bright.

This is the Western Dharma-Nature Land of the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. At first, my spirit was not very clear, and I did not know who I was or where I was. As the golden light continued to shine upon me, I gradually awakened and recalled my identity. It turned out that I had once been a general, had been on the battlefield, and had killed countless enemies. I was shocked to discover that I had spent over one thousand eight hundred years in a state of confusion. This truly filled me with fear.

I recalled my suffering in hell and my time as a tiny creature, and I could not help but sigh. I was also very confused: why did such things happen? I had only been a general for a short twenty years, yet I had created such massive negative karma. I now understand that the karma I created was not just the enemies I slaughtered at the time; every blade of grass, every insect, every living thing that died or was injured during my campaigns counted as my sin. Not only that, my two children inherited my ambition and established a regional hegemony, continuing to create boundless negative karma. This hegemony was ultimately linked to the foundation I had laid and the connections I had built. In terms of cause and effect, I must bear the price for this; not a single bit will be left unaccounted for. I wept and repented before the Buddha, regretting that I had sacrificed so many lives for something as fleeting as smoke, causing the later Eastern Wu Empire to create boundless negative karma due to years of war and late-stage tyranny. However, no amount of regret can bring back the lives that were lost."

Namo Amituofo.

"I sincerely prayed to the Buddha for a way to make amends, and the Buddha, in His infinite compassion, shone His golden light upon me. I realised then that I must first study the Buddha’s teachings; only with true Wisdom can one understand how to save others. While listening to the sutras in the Dharma-Nature Land, I witnessed Practitioner Su’s countless billions of manifestations performing Chao Du for the immeasurable and boundless suffering spirits of China. It was then that I understood how I myself had been saved. Seeing Practitioner Su perform Chao Du across infinite dimensions, with golden light illuminating the vast land of China, I gradually came to understand: to study the Buddha’s teachings and to make amends for my own sins, I must emulate Practitioner Su’s great compassion in performing Chao Du and his vast mind-capacity. I must help boundless suffering beings escape their original spaces and be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. Practitioner Su often says, 'Only by saving others can one turn around one's karma.' I have taken these words to heart, listening with the utmost care. I long to follow the Buddha to save others, but I have no physical body. I can only remain in the Dharma-Nature Land, chanting the Buddha-name with all my might during the Dharma assembly. Seeing that human beings are often unable to master their own destinies, I, as a spirit, feel I should also do my part. I chant the Buddha-name loudly, hoping that the spirits connected to me by karmic affinity can be awakened by my voice and escape their confinement."

The Lesson of the Past and the Path to Redemption

"I saw my youngest son at the temple, and my heart was filled with deep comfort. He still possesses a human body and serves as a monastic in the salvation team. He no longer engages in the slaughter of the battlefield as I once did; instead, he saves lives without creating the karma of killing. This is truly wonderful. It seems his blessings are far greater than mine. He was able to encounter the Buddha while still in the human world, avoiding the thousand years of suffering in the hells and various other spaces that I endured. I am truly happy for him. Yet, all of this happened eighteen hundred years ago. Looking back now, the relationships of the human world—even those as close as father and son—cannot withstand the truth of impermanence. After suffering for so long, I had almost forgotten my original identity. If not for the Buddha-light shining upon me, I would never have been able to wake up. If that is the case, what meaning do the most intimate relationships or the deepest blood ties of the human world truly hold?"

A Plea from the Depths of Suffering

"My life was cut short at thirty-seven, at the very peak of my prime. That short life cost me a thousand years of punishment. I wonder if this experience can serve as a warning to the world. If everyone could emulate Practitioner Su’s resolve to save the world, follow Namo Amituofo to study the Buddha’s teachings, and learn the Dharma Body Chao Du, they could save countless suffering spirits who, like me, once committed sins out of ignorance. As spirits, we lack the ability to escape the spaces where we suffer. To all of you who have karmic affinities with us—those who have met us in this life, or those who were once our parents or children—are you willing to resolve to save us? This is the true voice of a suffering spirit, urging everyone to cultivate the heart to save the boundless suffering beings. Now that I have been saved by Practitioner Su and have arrived in the Western Land of Dharma Nature, I listen to the sutras and study the Buddha’s teachings here. My heart is incomparably peaceful."

"I am deeply grateful to Namo Amituofo and Practitioner Su for giving me this opportunity to share my story."

"Namo Amituofo."

"Sun Jian"