The Jailer's Redemption

This is a record of an interview with Pei Jiabao, a spirit who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his life and his journey through the realms of samsara. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on July 14, 2024.

Pei Jiabao speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. Today is a truly magnificent Causal Condition for me and the other jailers. Seizing this rare opportunity, I chanted Namo Amituofo aloud. Seeing the Buddha standing right before me, the cycle of rebirth that has spanned throughout my many lives has finally come to an end today.

I am deeply grateful to Namo Amituofo and to the compassion of Practitioner Su. On behalf of all the jailers and sentient beings with karmic affinity, I bow in gratitude for the Buddha’s grace and the grace of Practitioner Su. Namo Amituofo."

A Childhood of Loneliness

"I am Pei Jiabao. Since I was a child, I was a boy who felt unloved by his father and mother. My heart often felt incredibly lonely, so I spent my life searching for the value of my existence.

Every day at home, seeing the expressions on my parents' faces, my heart would sink to the very bottom. My mind was filled with so many negative thoughts orbiting my consciousness. I often asked myself, 'Am I really their biological child?' In truth, there was no need to ask, for my face was so similar to my father's—especially my large nose and the shape of my face. The resemblance was enough to tell me: 'Do not doubt it, you are indeed their child.'

The Truth Behind the Silence

I once desperately wanted to ask my parents why they were so cold toward me, but I could never bring myself to do it. Finally, during one of their arguments, I heard words I had never heard before.

My mother said, 'You ruined my wonderful life! If it weren't for that pregnancy, if you hadn't insisted on keeping Jiabao, I would have achieved my dreams and become a lawyer by now. I wouldn't be a mere housewife, a 'yellow-faced woman' serving your family every day.' That day, my mother was furious and said such cruel things.

My father, provoked by her, replied angrily, 'I made that choice to be responsible to you and to your father. Haven't I worked hard to earn money all these years? If it weren't for earning money for you to spend, I wouldn't have been humiliated by my supervisor! I have endured this for so long, and I don't want to endure it anymore. Have I not contributed to this family?'

A Life of Performance

That day, they argued violently, blaming all the misfortunes of their lives on me, as if I were the one who ruined them. Hearing this, my heart felt like it had shattered. I felt so weak that I could barely walk; I felt that my existence in this world was entirely redundant.

My birth was unwelcome; it was a grievance to my mother. Whenever I thought of this, my heart felt heavy, and I could not find the energy to go on. Every day felt like living in a grey, sunless world. There were so many voices in my heart—some telling me to end my life, others telling me to be strong.

I was only eleven when I faced this life crisis. After much struggle, I decided to walk out of the darkness. No one told me what to do, so I had to make my own heart strong. However, in the process of facing these difficulties, my heart became somewhat twisted. Because there was no one to guide me, I stood up in my own way. I began to arm my exterior, locking away the pain in my heart, putting on a new mask to face my future.

The Accident and the Past

I learned to cater to others, to say what they liked to hear, and to act in ways they approved of. None of that was the real me; the real me had been locked away, so I became a very good actor. Only I knew what was real and what was fake. My heart was full of bitterness, but I forced myself not to feel it so that I could survive.

I lived this way for thirty-five years until I had an accident. That accident brought a complete transformation to my life. I only remember a large truck heading straight for me. My only thought was, 'I am finished. It is all over.'

In my coma, my body lay alone in the hospital bed, surrounded by cold instruments, with no family by my side. My spirit wandered. I walked through the ward, back and forth, looking at my own body, looking at the medical staff, but I could not see my parents anywhere.

Karmic Retribution Revealed

My spirit seemed to return to the past. I saw two servants kneeling before me, begging for mercy, claiming they were innocent and that they hadn't broken the cup. I did not believe them for a second. I immediately called another servant and ordered him to have them both put to death.

Those two servants who were sent to their deaths were my father and mother in this life. When my soul saw this past, I was so terrified that tears streamed down my face. I was speechless, especially when I saw the bloody, tragic state of those two servants, dying with such resentment.

As my spirit felt this fear, I was instantly transported to another space. I felt clearly that it was hell. It was a place of retribution where one could not see one's own hand. My heart was filled with such intense fear, helplessness, and panic that my spirit shrank until I was almost invisible.

A Glimmer of Hope

Suddenly, my spirit drifted to another space. A tiny breeze could make me float. Then, I saw a human hand appear before me—it was huge. It held a dry cloth, wiping everywhere. When it moved, I flew away. Only then did I realise I had become a tiny speck of dust.

During the time my body was in a coma, I continuously experienced the past, entering countless layers of space. In the final space, I stood on a cliff. Someone behind me pushed me off. I screamed loudly. Before I could see who it was, my body woke up.

I was in a coma for a year and a half. My body lay there motionless, but my spirit was busy entering life after life, through infinitely layered spaces. When I finally woke up, the memories of the coma remained. For a moment, I couldn't move my body; I had forgotten how to operate it because I had been away for so long. The first things to wake up were my tears; they slid down my cheeks before I could even move. I didn't know why I was crying; my heart was filled with indescribable emotions.

A New Path

When my parents arrived at the hospital, I looked at them, and there was no more hatred or resentment. I only wanted to crawl off the bed and kneel before them. I had forgotten how to speak, and my muscles had atrophied from long disuse. It took time to recover.

My life changed the moment I woke up. My heart was peaceful every day. I had no negative thoughts because I knew clearly that everything was empty—just a Causal Condition of one lifetime. I wanted to cherish every day, use the rest of my life to change my destiny, help those around me, and repent for my sins.

I dedicated my remaining life to searching for the Truth. In the process, I helped many people, knowing that everyone I met must have had some karmic connection in the past. Sadly, I did not find the true Truth or the path to liberation. Even though I eventually learned of the Buddha’s teachings, I did not understand the importance of seeking rebirth in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. Perhaps my Causal Conditions were not sufficient, and despite having a glimmer of hope, I fell back into the cycle of rebirth.

Deliverance from Hell

My heart was filled with regret at the very end. This negative feeling had not appeared for a long time, but at the last moment, because I could not find an exit, this sadness arose. Because of this sadness, I became a dark cloud, entering a space of darkness. I did not know when I would have the chance to escape. In that space, I kept chanting the Truth and thinking of helping others.

Because my heart was kind, I was able to leave that dark space after five years and was quickly brought before the King of Hell. The King of Hell asked me how I felt, and I replied, 'I am full of regret.' He told me to keep the goodness in my heart, for one day the Causal Conditions would be complete.

Unexpectedly, my Causal Conditions were completed in hell. When the sound of Practitioner Su’s Dharma talk appeared in hell, I was moved to tears. I knew this was what I had been searching for for decades—the Truth I couldn't find, I heard it in hell.

The sound of Practitioner Su’s Dharma talk reached hell from the human world. I was filled with Dharma joy and shared it with many other beings in hell. I kept chanting the Buddha’s name, repenting, and wishing for all beings to leave suffering behind soon.

Not long ago, I was placed on the list to be guided to the Western Land by Practitioner Su. My heart is filled with infinite gratitude. On behalf of the sixty jailers, I thank Namo Amituofo and Practitioner Su.

Pei Jiabao bows in respect.

Namo Amituofo."