The Final Awakening of a Mother

This is a record of an interview with Lay Practitioner Xiao Yuying, the mother of Lay Practitioner Gao Jinghua. Seeking deliverance from the cycle of suffering, she turned to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. She now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account, recorded by the chief writer Shi Fajing on February 4, 2022, captures her final reflections on life and her transition into the light of the Buddha.

Lay Practitioner Xiao Yuying speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. As I knelt before the Buddha, I could not hold back my tears. I confessed to Him, 'My child has been disobedient and has suffered greatly.' The Buddha, in His infinite compassion, radiated a brilliant Buddha-light that shone directly upon my head. I wept even more intensely, overwhelmed by the boundless mercy of the Buddha. Namo Amituofo.

I felt such profound shame as I confessed to the Buddha, 'For so many lifetimes, I have truly forgotten the Buddha. I was so caught up in the false appearances of this world, lingering and wandering, trapped in the endless cycle of samsara. I never remembered that I was a child of the Buddha, and I forgot that I needed to return to my true home. The Buddha is my compassionate Father, and no matter how many years have passed, He has always been waiting for me, waiting for the day I would finally return home.'

The Illusion of Samsara

I sincerely made my prostrations to Namo Amituofo, once again expressing my deepest gratitude for His great compassion. Today, the reason I am able to return to the Western Pure Land is entirely due to the help of Practitioner Su. If it were not for the intervention of Practitioner Su, I might have remained trapped in suffering for hundreds or even thousands of years. You see, I had already descended into the state of a lowly earthworm; that is why I became so ill. The person who lived among you all those years was merely a shell I had used in this world, a familiar form you all recognised. But in truth, a person with clear eyes like Practitioner Su could see at a glance that my spirit had long since departed; the body was no longer truly being used by me.

It is truly lamentable. I spent my entire life struggling for the sake of emotion and attachment, never realising that it was all a grand illusion. I listen to the Dharma talks given by Practitioner Su every single day, and every day I awaken a little more. If I had not heard these teachings, I would likely still be in my state of ignorance, still waiting for my children, longing for them to come and see me one last time. I am so fortunate that just as I was beginning to awaken, the Buddha-light shone upon me like a sudden drenching of nectar, clearing away all my delusions. In that instant, I woke up completely. I saw through this world with absolute clarity and understood the false nature of samsara. I made the firm decision to let go of everything completely. I would no longer linger, no longer wait, and I bravely declared, 'I am going to the Western Pure Land. I will wait no longer.'

The Saving Grace of Practitioner Su

Life really has no true meaning. Looking back now, it was all for the sake of a family, for the sake of children, but these are merely one small stop in the vast cycle of rebirth. Now, I have no ties to anyone; I am on my own. I am so fortunate that Practitioner Su rescued me, otherwise, I would still be suffering so terribly.

In truth, during the final stages of my life, I was mostly unaware of what was happening. Although I could speak and continue to live alongside my children, that was merely one of my spirits inhabiting that body; the rest of my soul was elsewhere, enduring retribution and suffering. I know that I once met Practitioner Su in person. Although that meeting was very brief, I remember it vividly. At that moment, all the spirits within me were watching Practitioner Su, because there was light radiating from her. My eyes were fixed upon her, unable to look away. That was my spirit pleading with Practitioner Su for salvation, though I could not speak the words aloud, and my body was no longer under my own control. However, I am so grateful for that single encounter, which allowed Practitioner Su to rescue me and end my suffering in the cycle of rebirth.

A Mother's Final Lesson to Her Children

My children, especially Tian'en, Tianlin, and Jinghua, you had the most opportunities to be with me while I was alive. I watched you grow from youth to old age. You have grown old, and I have grown old as well. Everyone must eventually reach this point; in the end, there is only death.

You all know the suffering your mother endured throughout her life, and you experienced much of it yourselves. I once considered these experiences to be precious memories, the blood and tears of my life. But now, I clearly understand that it was nothing more than a play. I acted my part so seriously, treating every single day of this life as if it were real!

It is not just me; I look at you now and see that you are also being blinded by this life. Please, do not make the same mistake I did. If you do not escape this cycle of rebirth in this lifetime, it is the spirit within you that will suffer. I do not know how much of what I am saying you can truly understand. I do not want you to suffer, but I do not have the power to save you; everyone must rely on their own efforts.

The Only Path to True Liberation

I brought you into this world, and although I cannot help you achieve liberation from samsara, I want to fulfil my final responsibility to you. I tell you this: only the Buddha can save you. Do not be like me, waiting until after your last breath to see the truth of all this. You must seize the opportunity; life is not long, and there will always be a day when it ends. Do not let yourself regret having met the Buddha but failing to grasp the chance to follow Him. You must cherish your time and keep your vision focused on the long term. Do not live for the present moment; live for the spiritual life that continues after the spirit leaves the body. That is what we should be pursuing. Everything you are attached to and love now will one day be lost, just as it was when I departed and truly parted from you forever. You are all very intelligent; please listen to what your mother is saying. Do not let yourself walk down a path of regret. You should wake up now; learning the Buddha-Dharma is the only path.

Finally, I hope that you will repay the Buddha's kindness. No matter what you are thinking, what you are feeling, or what your opinions may be, never forget that the Buddha is always the Buddha, the most compassionate Buddha. We need the Buddha, and we must repay the Buddha's kindness. This is my final teaching to you: you must know gratitude, feel gratitude, and repay that gratitude.

Namo Amituofo.

Xiao Yuying bows in respect."