The Karmic Debt of a Lifetime

This is a record of an interview with the 102nd Venerable, Xuan Yin, who lived approximately 720 years ago. He sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia and now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This testimony was recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on April 4, 2019.

Venerable Xuan Yin speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. My life signs were so unstable that within two hours of my birth, I nearly lost my life. My mother held me tightly in her arms, weeping incessantly, terrified that I had only just arrived in this human world, only to depart again immediately.

The Weight of Past Karma

It was the force of my karma pulling at me. Although my physical body was that of a newborn infant, my spirit remained in the form of the tall, robust, and muscular man I once was. In a past life, to put food on the table, I had committed immense killing karma. I had slaughtered all manner of animals, driven solely by the desire to earn more money to support my children. At that time, I had five children, and all five were gravely ill. I was a dutiful father, working hard every day, just wanting my family to live a good life. But in my ignorance, I chose the wrong path. I made my living by killing and selling meat. Although I earned a great deal of money, it was still not enough to cover my children's medical expenses. In those few decades of one lifetime, I created massive killing karma. I cycled through the hells and the animal realm for a long time, and only now had I managed to obtain a new human skin to be reborn into this world.

Those animals I had slaughtered did not disappear just because I had changed into a human body. They followed me closely, grabbing hold of me and refusing to let go. They already knew that in this lifetime, I had the opportunity to transform my karma. To save my life, my mother immediately made a vow to the Buddha on my behalf: 'In this life, he will certainly become a monastic to study the Buddha's teachings, dedicating his deep heart to the service of all realms, to save all beings from their suffering.' This vow truly preserved my life.

A Life of Suffering and Service

As I grew up, my body was constantly plagued by illness. It was either a major sickness or a minor one. My parents were always rushing about for my sake, often searching for doctors in the middle of the night to save me. During the day, they had to stay by my side at all times, fearing that one moment of carelessness would lead to another crisis. I lived a very difficult life, but my parents suffered even more than I did. I often had thoughts of just walking away and leaving it all behind, but I knew I could not be so selfish. I knew my mission in this life was to spread the Dharma and benefit beings. However, until my body stabilized, I could not yet embark on the path of becoming a monastic. I kept waiting, waiting for my body to recover so that I would be qualified to become a monastic and practice. Although I could only stay at home, I never forgot to practise diligently. Even when I was lying in bed without the strength to stand, I still firmly held onto the holy name of Namo Amituofo.

I could not do much because my body lacked the strength. I sat on my bed and told the Buddha: 'The two most important things in this life are to be a filial child to my parents and to save sentient beings.' I begged the Buddha to let my body recover soon so that I could exert my strength and fulfill these two great tasks.

The Truth of Cause and Effect

Having been tortured by illness since childhood, I felt no attachment to this world; instead, I understood the suffering of samsara more clearly. The more urgently the beings sought revenge, the more I seemed to understand these beings waiting in space to settle their scores. Because they could not let go of that single thought of hatred, they followed me to seek retribution. I saw how much their spirits were suffering. When I saw my parents working day and night for me, I felt ashamed, for my birth had dragged down their entire lives. Yet they were willing to do so, all because of love. They loved me, their son, deeply, and they cared for me without complaint. In that moment, I deeply understood how bitter life is and what a high price is paid for emotional attachments. Without Causal Conditions, there is no gathering; without debt, there is no arrival. I clearly saw my past with my parents; we were all partners who had created killing karma together. It was I who had invited them to join this industry, and we had invested in the business together. At the time, the business was very successful, and we slaughtered countless beings. Now, I was the first to receive the retribution, but they were not faring well either, as they had to care for me and worry about me. I even saw that in their old age, they would both die of severe illnesses, because all the animals we had slaughtered in the past would swarm upon them to collect their debts.

The Power of Faith

Days turned into months, and years turned into years, yet my illness did not improve. My parents were very worried about me, and I told them: 'I believe in the Buddha.' This time, my parents had prepared another sum of money to pay for my medical expenses, and I told them: 'I believe in the Buddha. Please donate this money to other patients who need help; they all need money for treatment.' My parents hesitated repeatedly, but I insisted: 'I believe in myself, and I believe in the Buddha.' From that day on, I no longer lay in bed. Instead, I struggled to lift my body and knelt before the Buddha, reciting the Sutras, making prostrations, and chanting the Buddha's name every day. I sincerely wanted to help sentient beings, using my meager strength to perform the Bodhisattva path, dedicating all the merit I created to all spirits and beings. Although my body was in pain, I could still write. In that era without printing, I hand-copied Buddhist Sutras to share with others, hoping that more people would come to know the Buddha's teachings. I also wrote the name 'Namo Amituofo' in large quantities, asking my parents to distribute them to every household. Within the scope of my ability, I did my utmost; I was no longer just lying in bed recuperating. I told myself: 'There is no time left. I must hurry to help sentient beings. Even if my illness does not heal before I become a monastic, I must start exerting my strength to save beings.' My parents often told me to rest and not to ruin my health, but I told them: 'I feel such Dharma joy in doing this; it is a joy I have never experienced before.' When I focused my mind on how to exert my strength to save beings, I seemed to forget myself, forgetting that I was a sick person. I kept charging forward, doing whatever I could, without thinking about what would happen later, just moving forward continuously. I began to endure the pain and walk out of the house, dressing myself with dignity to serve as a volunteer in town. I taught children to read the Sutras and write, introduced them to the Buddha's teachings, and encouraged the helpless children in town to learn the Buddha's path.

A Miraculous Recovery

As I made my vows, the things I could do became more and more numerous. In the end, I no longer needed to take medicine, and those expenses were used entirely for charity. My body gradually recovered, and my parents felt joy for me. I told them: 'I am grateful for the Buddha's compassion. Without the Buddha, I could not have recovered so quickly today. It is the blessing of the Buddha's power that allowed me to recover early.' My parents believed that it was indeed the Buddha's power helping me. I told the Buddha and the beings upon me that as soon as my body was well, I would enter a temple to practice, and then become a monastic, dedicating my life to saving sentient beings.

At the age of twenty, I finally entered a temple to practice, and at twenty-four, I was ordained as a monastic. My body had recovered remarkably well. Such a miracle moved many people, and they all began to believe in the Buddha because of my transformation.

The Purity of the Bodhimanda

In the temple, my heart became very quiet and pure. Having spent over a decade lying in a sickbed, I finally could move like a normal person. I cherished and grasped this opportunity, practising diligently without pause. Even during rest times, I still felt full of energy, so I took advantage of the time when others were resting to do more work, chanting the Buddha's name while cleaning places that no one else had cleaned. Because there were not many monastics in the temple, the area that could be cleaned was limited, so I used these fragmented moments to serve, keeping every corner of the temple clean to maintain the dignity of the bodhimanda.

Time passed quickly, and five years went by in a flash. My master asked me: 'What have you learned?' I replied: 'Purity.' Such purity cannot be obtained in the world. By letting go of everything in the world and focusing wholeheartedly on learning the Buddha's teachings in the temple, I cleansed away all defilements and attained the pure meditative concentration of body and mind, constantly enjoying the joy of the Dharma. I served others without any intention, gaining insights from my work. I swept the floor once, twice, three times; every day there was endless dust to sweep. That dust represents the defilements in our hearts. The stains accumulated over many lifetimes require such diligent and unremitting sweeping to be cleared and purified. When I was carrying water for others, I finally understood how to be grateful. Every drop of water used in the temple was so precious, carried from afar to the temple. I began to understand how to be more grateful for all the people, things, and events around me, and I developed even greater compassion and diligent practice on the path of practice.

The Path to Buddhahood

The path to become a Buddha is absolutely not one that can be walked alone; without delivering sentient beings, it is impossible to become a Buddha. In this life, I tasted the suffering of the body and the suffering of illness, so I understood even better the need to make vows to save sentient beings from suffering. Therefore, I sought the Dharma tirelessly, not because I was in a hurry to become a Buddha myself, but to benefit all beings and help them permanently pull out the roots of birth and death.

In this life, I fulfilled the two most important things in life: delivering my parents to rebirth in the Western Pure Land and widely delivering the confused masses, using the Buddha's teachings to help beings break through delusion and attain enlightenment, and to attain liberation. My roots of sin were deeply knotted in this life, but I sincerely repented, using all the strength I could muster to repay my karmic debts, doing good, accumulating merit, and widely saving sentient beings. Finally, I had the opportunity to return to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. I am grateful for the Buddha's compassionate guidance, stepping onto the lotus to be reborn in the Western Land.

A Final Message to Beings

Sentient beings are born into the world and fall into six realms of rebirth because of emotion and love; beings are born into fear and anxiety because of love, and they stain their own purity. Practitioner Su speaks the Dharma day after day with a heart of compassion, all to help beings eradicate the root of the entanglement of birth and death, to pull out the karma of emotion, and to transcend the six realms of rebirth. Sentient beings are attached to 'my body,' 'my thoughts,' and 'my desires.' Because of attachment, they are confused and give rise to afflictions. Beings should grasp the time of listening to the Sutras, for it is the opportunity to break through the obstacles of delusion. Perhaps in a single sentence of a Sutra, one can break the causal factors of samsara that have lasted for lifetimes, or in a single sentence, one can inspire a heart to save the world and eliminate the sins of many kalpas. Every being has different Causal Conditions, and there are always opportunities for awakening. One should know that the time spent listening to the Sutras and hearing the Dharma is the key to Awakening.

Following Practitioner Su, I have learned what it truly means to have 'no-self.' People in the world find it hard to let go of their physical sensations because the ego-attachment exists. True 'no-self' means being able to sacrifice for others, where everything done is for the benefit of others rather than oneself. In one's life, there is no longer any existence of 'me,' only the use of a false body to save sentient beings. It is truly practising what the Buddha practised, living up to the name of Practitioner Su. I hope that all beings can grasp the magnificent Causal Conditions of Practitioner Su's presence, make vows to save the world, awaken to their true nature, and return to the Western Land. Namo Amituofo."