The Life of a Blank Sheet

This is a record of an interview with the Venerable Gao Xing, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon his early life and his journey of practice. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa Jing, on September 3, 2018.

Venerable Gao Xing speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Gao Xing. When I was four years old, I loved to play dress-up. I would smear my mother’s rouge on my lips, cover my face in her white powder, and pile mud on my head, sticking in the new hairpins she had just bought. I would stomp around the courtyard in my grandmother’s tiny bound-foot shoes, chasing after the three sisters from next door. It was such a happy, carefree time.

My grandmother would sit in the courtyard chatting with the neighbours, and whenever she saw me dressed up like a girl, she would burst into laughter. I loved being with her; she never opposed anything I did. I was the only grandson in the family, and she doted on me completely.

The Grandfather’s Stern Lesson

One day, my grandfather returned home with a new set of calligraphy brushes. As he walked through the courtyard, he saw this strangely dressed child and shouted, 'Gao Xing! Come inside!' I had not even noticed he was back. Before I could wipe off the makeup, he had caught me red-handed. I whispered to my playmates, 'Shh, my grandfather is back. Let us play another day!' and hurried inside to find him.

He was sitting in his study. I knocked—'knock, knock, knock'—and only after hearing his 'Come in!' did I dare to step inside. He looked at me and said, 'Stand straight! Look at yourself—you look neither like a boy nor a girl. What kind of behaviour is this? Clean yourself up and then come back!' I hung my head and walked out of the study.

My grandfather was always strict. He did not spoil me just because I was the only grandson; if anything, he was even more rigorous and cautious in my upbringing. My father was a businessman who only returned home a few times a year, and my mother followed him to take care of his needs, leaving me in the care of my grandparents. My grandfather was a retired teacher and a devout Buddhist, while my grandmother was a housewife who had also begun to study the Buddha’s teachings. My parents were completely at ease leaving me with them, knowing that with my grandfather’s character, he would never be careless in my education.

Lessons of the Pond

After I cleaned myself up, I returned to the study. My grandfather was already focused on his calligraphy. I did not dare disturb him and stood by the door waiting. Finally, he put down his brush and asked, 'Have you finished your assignment?' I was stunned. 'What... assignment?' When he saw my expression, he knew I had completely forgotten. 'I will give you another assignment,' he said. 'This time, do not forget!'

He took me to a pond and told me to observe the scenery, then write a short passage about what I saw. I made sure not to forget this time. I rushed home and wrote: 'The fish in the pond are scrambling for food, their eyes empty. They do not seem to know what they are doing; they only know how to act like fish. On the pond walls, moss clings tightly to the stones. These mosses are like people who cling to love and possessiveness; they only feel safe when they grasp onto others. They cover the stones so tightly that anyone who steps on them will slip.' My grandfather read it and asked, 'What caused them to become these things?' I shook my head. 'I do not know.'

The Arrogant Flower and the Busy Street

He then took me to the mountainside, where a beautiful red flower grew alone in a crevice of the rock. It was stunning and eye-catching. He asked, 'Why does it grow there?' I replied, 'Because it is arrogant. It does not like to be with others. Look at how high it grows, showing off its beauty. Everyone ignores the vast rock wall and only sees this red flower. Look, Grandfather, it is smiling so smugly.'

Next, he took me to the main street. 'Look at all these people,' he said. 'What do you see?' I answered, 'Everyone is walking on the same street, selling things, playing, but everyone is trapped in their own little world, unrelated to one another. That old woman sells her homemade cakes; she spends her whole day at the stall and goes home only to make more. And look at that woman buying things—she dresses herself so elegantly. She is buying expensive ornaments again. Tomorrow she will buy new clothes or shoes. Her life is just about dressing herself to look the most noble and beautiful.'

The Meaning of Life

My grandfather asked, 'Do you understand now why the fish became fish, or why the moss became moss?' I suddenly understood. 'Attachment,' I said. He nodded. 'Everyone has their own attachments and their own stubborn personality. Such a life is very bitter. If one could live without a "self," how free that would be!' I nodded, finally understanding.

I never went to school. Every day, my grandfather gave me a new assignment. For decades, he had believed that sending a child to the best schools was the best arrangement for their life, but after studying the Buddha’s teachings, he realised these concepts were not necessarily correct. He told me, 'Life does not require high academic credentials, but one must understand what life is. What are we living for? A person with high power and status is a shining pearl in the eyes of the public while alive, but after death, they become a wandering ghost in the darkness. What is the meaning of such a life? A humble Buddhist practitioner who contributes to society, even without money or fame, knows how to do good, how to chant Namo Amituofo, and how to seek rebirth in the Western Pure Land. After death, they face not only light but the immeasurable and boundless Western Pure Land. Is that not a more meaningful life?' I nodded in agreement.

The Blank Sheet of Paper

Every day, my grandfather also took me out to serve others. Wherever help was needed, we were there. We became a well-known pair in the town, dedicated to service. Although he was strict, I was always happy with him, and the world I saw began to change. I gave away my toys to the neighbour's daughter. I preferred sitting before my grandfather listening to stories, going to the temple to hear the Dharma, and chanting and bowing before the Buddha every day.

As I grew, I became more sensible. One day, my grandfather gave me a blank sheet of paper and asked me to draw my life. I handed him a blank sheet and said, 'My life is as clean as this blank paper. When I pass through, I leave no trace; I cling to nothing, and I leave nothing behind. My life is also like this paper in that it can change in a thousand ways. It can be painted red, yellow, blue, or green; it can be drawn with all sorts of pictures. It can become whatever it needs to be. That is my life. But in the end, it returns to a blank sheet, because while life can change, I cling to nothing.' Finally, I wrote 'Namo Amituofo' on the paper. I told him, 'I want to engrave this "Namo Amituofo" forever in my heart. I hope that anyone who sees this paper will also know the importance of chanting this name. My life will not just be a blank passage; I hope to help everyone understand the importance of chanting Buddha’s name.'

A Path of Practice

At twelve, I bid farewell to my grandparents and embarked on the path of practice. I left home taking nothing but this 'Namo Amituofo.' I even let go of my emotional attachment to my grandparents. My life was like a blank sheet of paper—clinging to nothing, leaving nothing behind, save for this life-saving 'Namo Amituofo.' This was the result of twelve years of my grandfather’s careful, strict guidance, helping me find a truly meaningful life. Even without his presence, I knew how to continue.

I promised my grandfather we would meet in the Western Pure Land. Before returning there, I had to make an effort to help others reach the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. For decades, I remained like that blank sheet of paper, keeping my original purity. I experienced many events and met many people. Even when I encountered great storms, they always ended in calm, because life is always just this 'Namo Amituofo'; everything else is merely a passing scene.

At the final moment of my life, I did not draw a full stop on that blank paper; I still wrote 'Namo Amituofo.' It was this 'Namo Amituofo' that carried me to the Western Pure Land, and I wished to pass this name on to even more people.

Gratitude to Practitioner Su

When I was in the Western Pure Land, I watched every day as Practitioner Su led immeasurable and boundless beings back to the West, and I felt deep respect for her. When I saw that Practitioner Su could no longer walk because she had taken on the suffering of sentient beings, I immediately came to assist. Her compassion, using this 'Namo Amituofo' to lead countless spirits back to the West, is unique in this world. The world needs people to continue to proclaim this name so that the bridge to the West is not broken.

I am fortunate to have followed Practitioner Su into the universe—something I never imagined. I am grateful for this opportunity to help deliver the spirits of the universe. Practitioner Su’s Dharma Body is famous throughout the cosmos; beings on various planets know of her work. Those who have the aspiration follow her to the Western Pure Land. Those who wish to help deliver others join the ranks of the Universal Bodhisattvas, following her daily. We are all beings who had karmic affinity in the past, and today, through this Causal Condition, we meet Namo Amituofo.

When I stepped onto a planet with which I had a connection, I was moved to tears to see familiar spirits. They were once my relatives. Countless eons ago, I was a part of that outer space world. It was so long ago; I never expected my relatives would still be lingering in that space. It was only because I followed Practitioner Su to perform Chao Du that I was able to see them again and help them chant Buddha’s name to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. My heart is filled with infinite gratitude. I hope that every day, like Practitioner Su, I can help immeasurable and boundless beings escape their spaces and return to our home: the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, Namo Amituofo."