The Regrets of a Master: A Message from the Spirit of Venerable Master Sheng Yen

This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Venerable Master Sheng Yen, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now reflects upon his life, the future of his followers, and the profound truths he realised only after his passing. This account was recorded by the disciple Shi Faxi on June 18, 2017.

Venerable Master Sheng Yen speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Sheng Yen. I am speaking to you from beyond the veil of this world. My heart is heavy as I look upon the future of my followers and the future of Dharma Drum Mountain. I must be honest with you: I do not have the power to lead you to true liberation. Can you even begin to comprehend the depth of my helplessness now?"

The Illusion of the Path

"How does one become 'Sheng Yen'? The word 'delusion' is a difficult barrier to break, and it is even harder to transform after death. You must not be deluded by the Buddha, and you must certainly not be deluded by your teacher. Regardless of whether my final illness was painful or not, let us set aside the investigation of my own practice for a moment. The truth is that I cannot carry your future with me. Without true liberation, you are all still destined to wander within the six realms of rebirth.

I love my Dharma Drum Mountain. I dedicated my entire life to it. I know that my followers, as well as the Venerables and lay practitioners in our overseas bodhimandas, have all given their hearts and souls in true devotion. Yet, you cannot reach the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. I can see your karma, and it remains unchanged. What are we to do? I have written so many letters, and that is not the point. The point is: are you willing to step outside of Dharma Drum Mountain and listen to someone who might truly be a teacher? No amount of doubt will ever resolve the questions in your heart. What is the purpose of studying the Buddha’s teachings? Do you truly understand it in your own heart? Can your original intention and vision still be realised as they were meant to be? In a person's life, how many times can one truly encounter a true spiritual friend? This is a difficult task, and it is a burden that no one is truly willing to bear!"

A Father's Heart and the Failure of Practice

"My children, to the masses who sat before me, I may not have been a father in the biological sense, but I truly cherished you with a father's concern. Yet, I was powerless. I did not achieve the ultimate realisation. My life was not without purpose, but if we were to grade my performance, it would not be a hundred. That gap, that missing piece, is my failure. These are the truths I only understood after I had passed away. Do you think I had the time to tell everyone before I left?

The system of Dharma Drum Mountain is indeed recognised by everyone in the world, but what the secular world cannot see is the inner world. In practice, the most frightening thing is the difference in the inner world. In our practice, we call this 'fluctuation.' Everyone knows that we must cultivate the stillness of water—a pure, clear stillness. But when there is fluctuation, when there are ripples, can there be stillness? This is where we failed. We are still of the secular world, not yet sages. The changes in the way society views the Buddha’s teachings are largely similar. I, Sheng Yen, also hoped to influence Buddhism beyond Dharma Drum Mountain. But the reality is so terrifying—it is this reality that prevents everyone from escaping the cycle of rebirth. In the six realms, the suffering of the three lower paths is immense. Should we not be cautious? Namo Amituofo weeps, yet He cannot stop the flesh and blood of our hearts from jumping into the fire pit.

I, Sheng Yen, am now a spirit. I arranged my own funeral long ago because I knew in my heart that I did not die with dignity. The outside world, including most of the people at Dharma Drum Mountain, does not understand the state I was in when I passed. They only know that their teacher has entered parinirvana. For a practitioner, this is a profound failure. This is something only I, Sheng Yen, truly understand. This is not something that the outside world or the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre here could ever smear or fabricate. They have no need to do such a thing. No one wants to create the evil karma of hell. This place is where I feel immense gratitude, because it is here that I was able to reach the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss in my spirit form. I am deeply grateful, and I am also grateful that I have been allowed to save Dharma Drum Mountain. There are so few people in the fourfold assembly here, yet they are promoting such a vast cause—the cause of the Buddha’s teachings. It is incredibly arduous work. I, Sheng Yen, am deeply grateful, and I am silently supporting the True Teachings."

Gratitude and the Path to the West

"The first time I met Practitioner Su at the Dharma Drum Mountain campus in Jinshan, I knelt to welcome her. Only Practitioner Su understood the problems of that campus clearly. I also knew that the conditions were not yet ripe, and it was very difficult to change anything at that time. I, Sheng Yen, did what I could, giving my all. I am most grateful for the dedication to the Buddha’s teachings found here. There is no other bodhimanda in the world like this one. I am truly grateful. As a spirit, I do not feel fatigue, but this group of actively dedicated Venerables often works with such exhausting effort. I, Sheng Yen, bow my head in gratitude.

You must understand that the practice here does not rely on asceticism, but on the spirit. They begin their practice at one o'clock in the morning. Can you understand this? It has never been open to the outside world. Now, finally, the compassionate Dharma voice of Namo Amituofo has spoken, giving instructions to welcome the Dharma assembly, and only then were the doors of retreat opened. Because only through sufficient purification can one reach the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. But even then, it is not for everyone; it is for a select few. It is extremely rare. I, Sheng Yen, cherish this deeply and feel infinite gratitude. Not a single person at Dharma Drum Mountain has realised their true nature. This is not meant as a comparison; I only wish for Dharma Drum Mountain to grow. I wish for Dharma Drum Mountain to grow—that is my only wish. Namo Amituofo."

"Sheng Yen"

Namo Amituofo.