The Song of the Cicada

This is a record of an interview with Wang Xiaozhi, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. She now resides in the Western Dharma-Nature Land. This account reflects upon her life as a young girl and her subsequent cycle of rebirth as a cicada. Recorded by the chief writer, Lay Practitioner Li Jiaxian, on October 4, 2016.

Wang Xiaozhi speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Wang Xiaozhi. I come here today representing a vast number of beings—three 'great numbers' of us, all trapped in the same cycle of suffering. We currently exist in the second dimension, but through the grace of the Buddha, we have been brought here to find peace."

A Childhood Defined by Pain

"I was only thirteen years old when my life in the human world came to an end. From the moment I was born, I was a frail, sickly child. My life was a constant, exhausting struggle against a heart that refused to beat properly. I spent more time in hospital wards than I did in the sunshine of the outside world. My mother, seeing my suffering, gave up her high-paying career to care for me full-time. She would carry me to school, through wind and rain, just to fulfil my simple wish to learn. But my heart condition was a cruel master; whenever it flared up, I felt as though my soul were being torn from my body, hovering on the very edge of death.

I loved my parents so deeply that the thought of leaving them was unbearable. I was determined to be strong. I gritted my teeth and fought to stay alive, day after day. To keep them from despair, I would often put on a brave face, telling stories, giving little speeches, and singing songs. I dreamed that one day, when I grew up, I would become a famous singer. I would set up a small stage using chairs in our living room, performing my stories and singing with all the joy I could muster. Seeing my parents smile at my performances was the only happiness I had. It was my way of giving back to them, even as my own body was failing me."

The Cicada's Final Song

"But good times are fleeting. My illness grew worse, and eventually, I could no longer attend school. I was confined to a hospital bed, waiting for the inevitable. I was terrified, not of death itself, but of leaving my parents behind. I loved them so much. As I withered away, losing my strength day by day, my mother would sit by my side, reading stories to me to keep my spirits up. One day, we read about the life of a cicada. I was struck by how short its life was—how it spends so much time in the dark, only to emerge and sing so beautifully before its life ends.

I felt a strange kinship with that creature. I thought to myself, 'I want to be like the cicada. Before my life ends, I want to sing a beautiful song for my parents, to leave them with a happy memory.' When the end finally came, I sang my favourite song for them with the last of my strength. I did not want to go, but my eyes grew heavy, and I could no longer hold on. I closed my eyes, and my thirteen-year-old life ended. I was plunged into a dark, cold space. Not long after, I found myself reborn as a cicada. I spent my existence in that form, crying out incessantly, dying and being reborn, over and over again in an endless, agonizing cycle."

The Weight of Past Karma

"You ask if I have looked back to see why my life ended so early, and why my karmic creditors found me so quickly. It is a painful truth to face. About six lifetimes ago, I was an official in the imperial court. I had a neighbour who was like a brother to me; we studied together, supported each other, and eventually both passed the imperial examinations. We were so happy, believing we would serve the court and bring honour to our families. But as we rose through the ranks, we were drawn into different factions. Our ideologies diverged, and soon, the brotherhood we once shared turned into bitter rivalry.

I was blinded by greed and the desire for power. To secure my own position, I framed my friend, using false evidence to accuse him of treason. I watched as he was dragged away to prison, where he eventually died in misery. I was responsible for the deaths of many other officials, all for the sake of my own advancement. My parents in this recent life were also officials who had colluded with me in that past existence; their role as my parents was, in a sense, a form of karmic retribution. My karmic creditors were filled with resentment. From the moment I was born in this lifetime, they found me and occupied my heart, causing the very illness that defined my short life. I was simply here to pay the debt for the heavy karma I had created so long ago."

A Warning to the World

"You ask what brought me to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre today. It was the compassion of Practitioner Su. Through her deliverance of all sentient beings, the Buddha-light shone upon us, allowing us to shed our forms as insects. The sound of the Buddha-name led us here to this sacred ground. I am here to listen to the Dharma, to cleanse my heart of the darkness that has followed me for so many lives.

If I could offer one piece of advice to the people of this world, it would be this: learn from my mistakes. I was consumed by greed for fame and fortune, and in doing so, I destroyed the people who were closest to me. No matter how much money or status you accumulate, you cannot take it with you when you die. Only your karma follows you. Every action, every thought, is governed by the laws of karma and cause and effect. Nothing escapes this truth. I implore you all to keep Goodness in your hearts and perform good deeds while you still have the chance. Namo Amituofo."

"Thank you for sharing your story with us today. Namo Amituofo."