The Stubbornness of a Former Monastic
An Interview with the Spirit of Shi Jinquan
Recorded on May 12, 2020
This is a record of an interview with the spirit of Shi Jinquan, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the . This account reflects upon his past life as a monastic and his subsequent cycle of rebirths. Recorded by the chief writer, Venerable HaiZe, on May 12, 2020.
The Spirit speaks:
"You want me to fly away? Fine! Fine! I will go, I will go. But I heard you mention 'writing a memorial tablet'—you must help me write one! There is no need to catch me; I will fly away on my own accord!"
Venerable HaiZe:
"Practitioner Su has noted that you were once a monastic. Please, you must not be disrespectful or disrupt Practitioner Su while he is delivering talks."
The Spirit speaks:
"It was so difficult for me to get this close to Practitioner Su. Please, do not make me leave this place so quickly!"
The Burden of a Name
Venerable HaiZe:
"We will help you by writing a memorial tablet, but you must fly away first. Tell me, what is your name?"
The Spirit speaks:
"My name is Shi Jinquan."
Venerable HaiZe:
"How is it that a monastic ended up being reborn as a fly?"
The Price of Pride
The Spirit speaks:
"Alas! Although I was a monastic, I did not listen carefully to my teacher's Dharma talks. I insisted on doing things my own way. Just like a moment ago, when Practitioner Su told me not to cause interference, I simply could not let go of my pride. I did not want to leave immediately; I felt I had to circle around in front of Practitioner Su a few more times before I would fly off. It is exactly this kind of personality that makes people dislike me! Because of this, I had poor relationships within the monastic community. I had no real friends. My personality was so incredibly stubborn—I would not easily listen to anyone's counselling. I was obsessed with 'saving face.' Just like a fly, my presence in the group was never welcomed by anyone.
Before I died, I remember flies buzzing all around my body. I felt such deep sorrow, realising that I was just like those flies—unwelcome and unwanted! I have been reborn as a fly thirty-one times now. It is so pathetic! And now, to change this 'stubborn' nature—this refusal to listen to counselling and this obsession with face—it feels impossible. Heavens, who would ever want to be a fly? I beg Practitioner Su to help me bring this cycle to a conclusion."
This interview was recorded by the disciple, Venerable HaiZe. Namo Amituofo.
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About the Author
Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre
Contributed to Pure Land Buddhism knowledge library