The Virus of the Self: A Testimony from the Pandemic

This is a record of an interview with Gao He, who sought deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now resides in the Western Dharma-Nature Land. This account reflects upon his experience during the global pandemic of 2020. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxin, on March 13, 2020.

Gao He speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Gao He. Our collective fear and terror manifested into a dark, swirling space. We were trapped, circling endlessly within this void, caught in a current that kept us in constant motion. In this space, we moved with a strange, hollow regularity; we were like empty ghosts, devoid of energy, not even knowing what we were doing or why we were there. Then, under the pull of a powerful gravitational force, we were instantly transported here. This massive shift in time and space left us completely disoriented, unable to grasp our situations.

The Call of Namo Amituofo

Suddenly, we heard a resonant, magnificent voice declare: 'The only way to resolve this pandemic is to come to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre and seek Namo Amituofo.' The person who spoke this was radiating infinite light. That light instantly transformed our panic into a profound sense of peace. The Buddha-light shone upon every one of us. There were about fifty thousand of us in that space—all people who had died from the pandemic, as well as those whose souls had been jolted out of their bodies by the sheer terror of their diagnosis. We did not know when we had been sucked into this space, but we were all there together. These fifty thousand souls came from every corner of the globe. This was a global pandemic, affecting countries everywhere, spreading with the speed of our modern, interconnected networks.

A Life of Privilege and Arrogance

I was chosen as the representative for these fifty thousand people. In the human world, I was a man of status and influence. My family was prominent, and wherever I went, a crowd of sycophants would gather around me, all hoping to curry favour because of my father’s close ties to the central government. Although my father was only a local official at the time, everyone knew he was destined for a high-ranking position in the next reform. People clung to us, hoping to climb the social ladder through our influence. I despised those flatterers; their faces were so fake. I also looked down on 'country folk,' thinking they lacked sophistication and often embarrassed themselves. Perhaps because I had my family’s power as a crutch from a young age, I was brutally blunt. If I disliked someone, I would say so to their face, regardless of whether it hurt them. I was the centre of my own universe, and my opinions were the only ones that mattered.

At home, everyone walked on eggshells around my father, as our family’s reputation was the source of their pride. I was an only child, and my mother indulged my every whim. She was the one who loved me most, yet she also put me on a pedestal, constantly telling me that I was the best.

The Mirror of My Mother’s Heart

I remember once bringing a girl I liked home to meet my family. My mother looked her up and down with such cold, unfriendly eyes. After the girl left, she complained to me, hurt by my mother’s behaviour. I believed her, because my mother was a deeply materialistic person; if she did not approve of someone, she would not hide her disdain. I looked down on my mother for that, yet without realising it, I had adopted those very same traits. The constant posturing, the art of manipulation, and the arrogance of our household were all ingrained in me, turning me into a rebellious and unmanageable person.

The Sudden Descent into Darkness

As my father rose in the government, I used his connections to secure an easy job. After moving to the big city, the dazzling, colourful life seduced me. I fell in with a group of friends who shared my interests, and we lived a decadent nightlife. When my father first mentioned the pandemic, none of us took it seriously. Even though several cities were already suffering, the central reports were completely suppressed. My father warned me, but I ignored him entirely. It was not until I could not stop coughing and struggled to breathe that I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with pneumonia caused by this new virus. My breathing became laboured and then stopped altogether. The virus ravaged my lungs with terrifying speed. I died just like that! Everything happened so suddenly—from the first symptoms to my death, it was barely over a week. My family was left in complete shock.

It felt as if my body was being torn apart by a powerful, invisible force. My soul became hollow, like a vortex, and I was sucked into that dark space. My spirit became sluggish, indescribable, and uncontrollable. I kept circling, circling, and circling, not knowing what I was doing. In my mind, I desperately wanted to return to my old life, but I could not. Every day, more people were added to that space, all of us filled with panic, ignorance, and anxiety.

The Virus of the Heart

Many selfish people who were terrified of falling ill—even if they had not died yet—had their spirits sucked into that space along with us. There were so many different types of people there. I did not speak to them, but I could tell where they came from. There were those who had killed countless lives through fishing, those who were obsessed with endless pursuits, those consumed by insatiable desires, those with explosive tempers who disregarded others, and those who were driven by a need to be stronger than everyone else. These thoughts and this ignorance kept churning, attracting endless waves of viruses. People in the world who share these characteristics are the very targets the viruses seek out. Too many people in this world only care about themselves, so their thoughts are always spinning around their own egos. They spin and spin—from good to bad, from bad to worse. It is this constant, selfish spinning that kept our space in such a state of turmoil. We were all slaves to our own bodies. These truths, these observations—I only realised them after I was guided by the Buddha-light to this place to listen to the Buddha’s teachings.

When everyone in that space heard these teachings, we all had a sudden 'Aha!' moment. We had already lost our bodies; we wanted to go back, but it was too late. Everyone cried so loudly, longing to return to the past, longing to be reunited with their families. To those still in the world who have time to change, I suggest this: instead of 'fear,' choose to 'change.' I told my parents: 'We were all wrong. A selfish heart is the virus, and the virus is born from the heart.' Whether or not you fall ill, you only need to look at your own heart to know the answer.

The Compassion of Practitioner Su

Upon arriving here, we participated in the Dharma assembly and saw Practitioner Su standing on the stage, surrounded by an immeasurable and boundless crowd. In this assembly, we felt the intensity of Practitioner Su’s heart to help the whole world, especially regarding this severe global pandemic. Once this vow was made, it was not just us who arrived; many Plague Gods, beings from the Demon Realm, and various strange spirits—all those involved in the pandemic—came as well. Many of them carried an aura of malevolence, rushing toward Practitioner Su, intending to stop him and destroy his plans. When they surrounded him, Practitioner Su’s compassion, and the compassion of the Dharma protectors, did not force them away. When the Dharma assembly began, the Buddha’s light shone upon them continuously, restoring their appearances to a state of Goodness and bestowing upon them the power of kindness. Under this constant softening, the Buddha-name finally sent them away. Practitioner Su continues to work throughout the world and the Earth’s space, helping everyone to purification—purifying the instigators of this pandemic and purifying the human heart. Seeing all of this, we were deeply moved. We are so grateful that there is still an infinite, warm light in this world. We hope to let more people know about the true power of the Buddha’s teachings so they no longer need to live in fear. We are grateful for the Buddha’s compassion and for the compassion of Practitioner Su. We hope for world peace, and that the Buddha may dwell within the hearts of all people."

Namo Amituofo.