A Journey from Despair to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss

This is a record of an interview with Lay Practitioner Liu O-wen, who sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. She now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon her transition from a life of profound internal suffering to spiritual liberation. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fa, on October 28, 2022.

Lay Practitioner Liu O-wen speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I offer my deepest apologies for the wrong decision I made; I have caused such immense pain to my dearest family. For these past few years, my heart has been trapped in a state of constant, agonising struggle. I could not find a way out, yet I did not want to worry anyone. So, most of the time, I kept a smile on my face, but only I knew that it was not a genuine smile."

The Heavy Burden of Unspoken Pain

"Whenever I felt low, my mind would become overwhelmed. I would dwell on everything I had experienced in this life—the happy moments and the unhappy ones. I do not know why I felt compelled to fixate on the unhappiness. When my heart sank, all those painful memories would surface, one after another, in a barrage of images that I could barely withstand. Many times, I completely collapsed, desperately wishing for someone to help me, yet I could not find anyone who could truly resolve the problems within my heart.

At times, I felt a destructive force within me; at other times, I felt completely drained of all strength. After going back and forth like this for so many years, everything has finally come to an end, and I have left you all in sorrow. But let us not speak of this anymore; let us leave the past behind."

Finding Solace at Hsiang Kuang

"During this time, I am deeply grateful to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre and to Practitioner Su for bringing me to such a peaceful place. Only after arriving here for some time was I finally able to face myself. I asked myself why I had become this way. The reason for this suffering was partly because I held on too tightly and could not let go, but a significant portion of it was due to the interference of my karmic creditors, who amplified my negative thoughts. I saw those karmic creditors using all their strength to interfere with me because, in the past, I had deeply harmed them, and they had suffered painful ends because of me. Seeing them in their bloodied states, I repented to them. As I wept in repentance, a portion of the tightness in my heart finally unravelled. I also clearly saw many things from my past that I had seemed to know but were previously blurred.

When I was first pulled from that dark space, I was weak and afraid to face the truth. Now, I feel much more at ease. I hope that you will no longer worry about me, and I thank my father and Mimi for performing the Chao Du for me, allowing me to leave with a lighter debt."

A Final Message to My Family

"Father, Mimi: 'I am sorry. I truly wanted to be a filial child, but in the end, I still caused you sadness.' It took a great deal of effort for me to convince myself to face this. Today, I decided to go to the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss because I hope to see your smiles again. Right now, your smiles are the most important thing to me.

For years, we have all held onto things in our hearts that we could not let go of. I hope we can resolve them one by one. Now that I have reached the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, I realise that those worries and attachments are no longer important. During this time, after listening to the Dharma, I have realised so much. I have lost my precious human body, and although I regret it, it cannot be reclaimed.

Many memories flashed through my mind, one after another. I did not dare to let them slide to the final, failed conclusion, so I quickly turned a corner and found a beautiful ending—the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss."

The Radiance of the Western Land

"Now, I feel completely refreshed. I am treading upon a soft lotus flower, and the sound of the Buddha-name chanting is constant in my ears. The air is filled with fragrance, making me want to take deep breaths, and a stream of pure, cool energy flows through my body. Before me lies a beautiful landscape that brings me such joy, for no matter where I look, everything is simply magnificent.

I am so happy. I can finally laugh heartily, free from the pain of a physical body. All of this is thanks to the help of Practitioner Su at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. Father, Mimi, without Practitioner Su guiding me, even if I had wanted to go, I would never have reached the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. I have witnessed so much of Practitioner Su's attainment in her practice during this time; she has helped an immeasurable number of beings—it is beyond calculation.

I know that Father and Mimi care deeply about our past faith, as it brought our family peace of mind, but in the end, it was truly Practitioner Su who guided me to the West. Please thank Practitioner Su properly on my behalf.

My departure has caused you so much worry. Father, Mimi: 'Please let go of O-wen. O-wen is doing very well now, and I am truly smiling.' I hope that you can all be well, too, and that you can smile as genuinely as I am now. You have worked hard your whole lives; you deserve to enjoy yourselves.

I am concerned about your health, and I have seen that Practitioner Su can help. I hope you will come to understand this properly; treat it as a way to recuperate your health, and do not let O-wen worry. From now on, I will have to ask O-wen to help with the responsibility of being filial. I will be waiting for you in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, and in the future, we shall all be reunited there. Thank you to my uncle and aunt for helping to take care of Father and Mimi after I left. I hope you are all well, and I will see you in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss.'

"O-wen"

Namo Amituofo.