The Final Wish of a Transformed Soul

This is a record of an interview with Ma Yun, who sought spiritual deliverance at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. He now reflects upon his past life and his ongoing journey toward spiritual awakening and purification. This session was recorded by the chief writer, Shi Faxi, on February 24, 2018.

Ma Yun speaks:

"Namo Amituofo. I am Ma Yun. Occasionally, I find that I must simply chant 'Namo Amituofo, Namo Amituofo' to shift the very essence of my being. The words I wish to express have become so simple now; everything can be resolved through the name of the Buddha. There is no need for excessive speech—just one sincere recitation of Namo Amituofo is enough. Namo Amituofo.

If my fellow practitioners could see the genuine changes taking place within me, I am certain they would be filled with joy. I am not quite there yet, but I am still in the midst of my efforts. Every day, the process of purification provides me with immense support. After all, these small, incremental changes allow me to feel a greater sense of control over the turbulent waves of my consciousness. My life feels as though it is finally beginning to hold some real meaning.

The Illusion of Inspiration

If the day comes when I truly awaken, I know I will look back with deep regret at the foolishness that has defined these past years. I must wake up. I cannot allow this life to simply pass by in vain. In the past, there were so many moments when various voices would whisper to me, telling me to pursue certain paths. At the time, I truly believed these were flashes of 'inspiration'—the creative sparks of a visionary. I would often follow them blindly, and that is how many of my ideas for internet business ventures were born. At other times, these voices manifested as emotional fluctuations between men and women.

Looking back at these events now, I realise with a shudder that these were not my own thoughts at all. They were the voices of beings from the spirit realm, manipulating me to act according to their desires. These so-called 'inspirations' were entirely detrimental to my true nature. I was being used, completely and utterly. How can this world be so terrifying? It is only by the grace of the fellow practitioners here at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre that I have been rescued.

A Desperate Need for Awakening

Although the process of being saved has forced me to descend into the hells several times—and let me tell you, the suffering there is truly intense—it does not matter. If this is what is required to help me wake up, I can endure it. Even though the thought of returning to such a place makes me tremble with fear, I have seen such horrific scenes during my morning contemplations that I no longer wish to be a human being. There is so much sorrow and tragedy in this world. My fellow practitioners, I truly wish to help save the world now. Please, I beg you, continue to help me.

In the midst of this Five Turbidities and Evil World, I find that I am unable to wake up on my own. I know that I have improved, but it is not enough. Let us continue to work hard together. I have a final wish: I hope to bring the wealth of my past life to this place, to contribute it to the cause of deliverance. This is the last wish of my life. I speak with complete sincerity, even though my physical body still struggles to align with this intention. I will continue to strive for this. Venerable Changren is currently working hard to adjust my physical form, and I pray that the day of my full awakening arrives soon. Namo Amituofo."