From Resentment to Ultimate Joy

This is a record of an interview with a spirit who was aborted in 2014 and sought Chao Du at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. The spirit, whose deliverance was facilitated by Practitioner Su on behalf of Lay Practitioner Zhao, now resides in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. This account reflects upon the spirit's journey from the darkness of resentment to the light of liberation. Recorded by the chief writer, Shi Fajing, on October 18, 2024.

The Spirit speaks:

"I keep laughing, I just keep laughing! I am so happy—it has been such a long, long time since I felt this kind of joy. My heart feels so light, as if a heavy stone that had been pressing down on me for years has finally been lifted away.

Thank you, Practitioner Su, for bringing me to this magnificent Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. I feel as though I have finally grown up. The pain is gone, the coldness is gone, and I have let go of everything that used to hold me back. It is so beautiful here, more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams."

The Agony of a Lost Life

"I want to speak to the mother I had in this life. You know, at first, I was filled with such deep, burning resentment. I asked over and over again, 'Why didn't you want me?' But you could never hear me. I kept asking, and asking, because I was so angry and so heartbroken. Why did you cast me aside? Why was I denied the chance to see the sun, to feel the wind, or to hold your hand?

I could have grown up healthy and strong, just like any other child, but I never had the chance to enter this world. I waited for so long, for so many lifetimes, just for that one chance to be born. Instead, I became a resentful spirit, trailing behind you every single day, watching you, waiting for you to notice me. But you never knew where I was. I was right there, yet I was invisible, trapped in a cycle of sorrow that I didn't know how to escape."

The Gentle Light of Deliverance

"I never imagined that you would remember me and seek to save me. When Practitioner Su used her gentle, compassionate power to bring me to her, I was a little frightened at first. I didn't know where I was being taken. I had been in the dark for so long that the very idea of being 'found' was terrifying. But the moment the Buddha-light touched me, I felt a sense of peace—a deep, profound peace. I felt so comfortable, so safe, as if I were finally coming home after a journey that had lasted for eternity.

I didn't know how to chant Buddha's name. I didn't even know what it meant to be a practitioner. But when someone taught me to follow along and say 'Namo Amituofo,' I did it, one syllable at a time, very slowly. As I continued, I became happier and happier. It was as if I had forgotten all about needing to find my mother; I just wanted to stay here with Practitioner Su, basking in the warmth of the Buddha-light."

Growing into My True Nature

"Later, I began to listen to Practitioner Su’s Dharma talks. The more I listened, the more I felt myself changing. It was as if I were growing up, getting bigger and bigger, shedding the shell of the child who was lost. Now that I have arrived in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, I have grown even more. I am no longer just a child; I have returned to the original form of my true self. Seeing my many past lives, I finally understand why I must let go. All of those things—the anger, the resentment, the feeling of being abandoned—they were all just illusions. They were not the truth of who I am.

I also want to counsel the mother I had in this life: it is time to start chanting Namo Amituofo. Your heart is not yet with the Buddha; you are still so far away, caught in the worries of the world. I truly hope you will study the Dharma diligently. Only then can you help the karmic creditors within your own body leave their suffering behind, and only then can you help yourself achieve true liberation. Please, do not wait as long as I did.

Myo-on bows in reverence.

Namo Amituofo."