The Burden of the Self and the Path to Awakening

This interview with the spirit of Venerable Master Chin Kung was recorded on October 17, 2022, at the Western Dharma-Nature Land of the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre in Australia. In this second part of his reflection on the concept of 'the self,' the Venerable Master discusses the necessity of letting go of the ego and the profound importance of the work being done at the Centre.

Venerable Master Chin Kung speaks:

Namo Amituofo. Today, I, Chin Kung, will continue with the topic previously given to me by Namo Amituofo: 'The Self.' The scope of the 'self' is incredibly vast. The Buddha’s teachings have always instructed us to recover our true nature, to realise 'no-self,' and to cultivate a perspective of oneness. This is truly a matter of the utmost importance. Why bring up the 'self' here? Because to the average person, 'I am who I am.' How could there possibly be no 'self'? It is because of this 'self' that we survive in this world; everything we do is for the sake of survival. Why, then, speak of 'no-self'?

The Root of Buddhist Practice

This concept of 'no-self' is the very root and foundation of the Buddha’s teachings. Those who can truly understand the profound meaning of these two words will gain a much deeper recognition of the boundless, infinite nature of the Dharma. If one can rely on this for actual practice and realisation, one will awaken to their true nature and no longer be confined to 'my body' or 'my feelings.' In the study of the Buddha’s teachings, if one can gradually transition from worldly teachings to transcendental ones, and from shallow concepts to the deep, vast, and true reality, it is much easier for the average person to accept. Otherwise, it feels too lofty—'This is not something I can do'—and people will keep the Dharma at a distance. If one can understand the underlying principles and find a point of awakening—'Oh! So that is where I have been acting improperly, inadequately, or wrongly, and that is why I have been suffering'—then one can know how to improve. Consequently, there is an opportunity to resolve the karma associated with this part of one's life. If you know your faults but cannot change them, you are the one who suffers. Others may not know, so they make mistakes, but for you, you know, yet you cannot do it—that is a great loss. If it is a minor fault, you suffer a little; if it is a major fault, the suffering is beyond description. Therefore, the education of the Buddha is extremely important: we must gradually let go of the 'self' until we reach 'no-self.'

The Karma of the Physical Form

This 'self' refers to the physical body. Almost everything arises because of this body, and the body generates various needs. Whether it is food, clothing, housing, transportation, or the Five Aggregates of form, feeling, perception, impulse, and consciousness; whether it is greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, and doubt; or wealth, lust, fame, food, and sleep—all of these exist to satisfy the needs of the 'self.' Having this 'self' leads to the creation of much negative karma. Yet, this is how people live. Perhaps they have studied a little of the Buddha’s teachings but do not understand them deeply, or perhaps they have no affinity and have never had the chance to hear the Dharma, so they live their lives according to their own perceptions. Of course, this body is composed of karma; the four elements—earth, water, fire, and wind—are all karma! Everyone has a different appearance, different personality, different thoughts, and various types of 'self.' As the saying goes, 'One kind of rice feeds a hundred kinds of people.'

The Necessity of Diligent Practice

The Buddha’s teachings speak of purification. After purification, one must still strive diligently to recover one's true nature. This is the goal of many practitioners. To reach this goal and recover the true nature, one must put in a great deal of work. Keeping the Precepts and cultivating meditative concentration are the prerequisites for opening Wisdom. This is the 'Three Learnings of Precepts, Concentration, and Wisdom'—the basic skills of learning from the Buddha and the method that every Buddhist practitioner must follow, let alone those who are truly practicing. And for all the efforts made in practicing the Buddha’s teachings, diligence is not enough; one must be 'fiercely diligent.' Why live such a hard, disciplined life and keep so many Precepts? Is it still out of fear that one might create negative causes or commit faults during practice? And why must one know how to repent? 'In the world, we don't need to be like this; why are there so many rules after learning from the Buddha?' Some people think this way, and that, too, is a form of 'self.' The reason practice is so difficult is that we must let go of the 'self'—the karma, personality, and habits brought over from accumulated lifetimes in the world—because that is the manifestation of karma. This is a matter of the utmost importance.

The Complexity of the Ego

To let go of the 'self'—to let go of the past 'self'—one must put in the work. If the effort is insufficient, one cannot let go of that 'self': the karmic 'self,' the 'self' with a body, the 'self' with a temper, and the 'self' that you do not even recognise yourself. You cannot just let go of one type; you must let go of all those 'selves' cleanly, without leaving a single trace, to realise your true nature. As long as even a tiny shred of 'self' remains, you cannot realise your true nature, because in the true nature, there is no such 'self.' Those 'selves' are too complex, too polluted, and layered upon one another; they are all karma brought from past lives. At any moment, when a personality trait arises, you might touch upon one of those 'selves,' and the moment that 'self' manifests, you create karma again.

Of course, people who are kind, compassionate, wise, joyful, and happy to help others, often wearing a smile—wherever such a 'self' goes, they are welcomed by everyone. Conversely, if one often has a stern face, gets angry after only a few words, changes one's tone when things don't go as planned, changes one's expression, shakes one's head and walks away, and is always thinking of one's own benefits and interests—the personality of such a 'self' will naturally cause others to stay away to avoid bringing trouble upon themselves. All these 'selves' are what practice must strive to eliminate. The physical 'self' is the most troublesome; aging, sickness, and death are all caused by this body.

The Illusion of the Physical Self

Birth, having this body; aging, the aging of the body; sickness, the body falling ill; death, the separation of the four elements—all are caused by this physical 'self.' Thus, a person spends their whole life living within this 'self' of the body. Yet, this 'self' is so important; the existence of this false physical 'self' is necessary for practice to recover the original 'self,' to recover the true nature, to recover the true reality. These terms actually mean the same thing; they are just different words used under different circumstances or by different schools of Buddhism. But the meaning is the same. This is also a form of discrimination among people, but learning from the Buddha requires using this method to lead everyone into the Buddha’s gate. It cannot be done without it. However, once you have entered, you must know to let go of the names and forms, and to let go of the limitations brought by this 'self,' so that you can further recognise and clarify deeper truths. If you are attached and grasp tightly—whether it is the body, feelings, or these Buddhist terms and common knowledge—you may be able to talk eloquently, but what you can learn and know is only the literal meaning; you will not be able to learn the meaning beyond the words.

The Role of the Teacher

I, Chin Kung, knew this principle. That is why, during my sixty years of giving lectures, in order to lead beings to learn the Pure Land path, I had to constantly repeat the words and terms commonly used in the Pure Land school so that everyone could hear them. If you don't remember after hearing it once, you have a slight impression after hearing it twice. After hearing it three times, the impression deepens, and by the fourth time, you remember it. By the fifth time, it becomes a part of your own understanding and cognition. With this cognition as a foundation, you can naturally proceed to understand deeper principles. This is all I, Chin Kung, can teach; the rest depends on everyone’s own realisation, asking questions, and knowing where you need to improve. This is the saying: 'The master leads you through the door, but the practice is up to the individual.'

The True Nature Within

I just mentioned that the goal of practice is to 'let go of the self.' 'If I let go of the self, I have nothing left; what is left of me?' That is correct. The one who has let go of the 'self' has nothing, and that is our original face—that is the true nature, the Buddha-nature that every being possesses! When the time comes, you will know the truth: I have nothing, yet I have everything. You know whatever you want to know, and you don't have to know what you don't want to know. So, to know nothing is also to know everything; this is a state of such purity and freedom. It is not like in the world where, if you want to know something, you say, 'Sigh, let me go look up some data and then I'll tell you.' That is fine; it is one way of seeking knowledge. There is always a problem that needs an answer, but your answer is obtained from data and literature. Perhaps there are different answers, and the scope is wider; they are not recorded in literature, but they truly exist. This might be your personal experience, or most precious of all, the guidance given to you by those who have realised their true nature. Such answers are truly flexible, truly flowing from the true nature, without any pollution; they are extremely precious. After doing this, or if you have listened and absorbed it, the benefits you receive will absolutely surpass what data and literature can tell you. These benefits cannot be researched by them, because if one has not personally experienced and verified it, one cannot say it, nor can one do it. You see, under these two conditions, the breadth of what is developed in you is naturally different.

The Fear of Letting Go

However, the hearts of many people are always restless. They believe in science and research, but they do not believe in the teachings of those who have realised their true nature or the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. They feel that if they let go of the 'self,' they will have nothing left, and that is too terrifying! 'Let go of wealth? How will I live without money?' 'Let go of the body, let go of material things? That is even worse! I must take good care of this body; without this body, how can I live in the human world?' Everyone has material needs, and they are used to living this way. To ask me to be pure-hearted and have few desires, to reduce my desires—I don't know if I can do it or not. It feels like this is not allowed, that is not allowed; it is so painful!

As for letting go of fame, status, and position—although these are external things, having them is not bad. They can bring more connections, more prestige, more wealth, and more convenience. These are necessary in the world. You want me to let go of these? If there is no fame, one can still live, just a bit more arduously.

The Trap of Greed

And as for food, one must eat to nourish this physical body so it can survive; this is necessary. But if it is excessive and wasteful, then one consumes one's blessings. 'Sigh! But I have so much money; I spend a little more on enjoying gourmet food, I haven't committed a fault, I haven't created karma.' How could you not have created karma? If you eat non-vegetarian food, haven't you formed grudges with those meat-based beings? As for those expenses, if the money you earned is from a legitimate source, that is your blessing, and you can indeed enjoy it. But it is easy to generate greed, and satisfying your body's needs easily makes your greed grow fat; this is also suffering! At this time, if you want to eliminate greed, it is very difficult. Therefore, the starting point is very important; you must stop it. If the wealth you obtained is ill-gotten—wealth earned through illegal means or by cutting corners—then you are adding karma upon karma. Wealth obtained through illegal means should not be used to satisfy your body's needs; isn't that 'adding fuel to the fire'?

Then there is sleep; this is a need of the body, to let the internal organs rest so they don't have to work so hard, and then to start a new day. It should be in moderation; do not be greedy for sleep. The extra sleep will only bring you afflictions and difficulties.

The Caution of a Practitioner

In this regard, I, Chin Kung, have been very cautious. Why be so cautious? I fear creating karma. 'Bodhisattvas fear the cause, while beings fear the result.' It is best not to create a negative cause in the first place; otherwise, if you have to stop it later, you must put in a great deal of effort! I have briefly described 'wealth, lust, fame, food, and sleep.' In fact, many people know this; after listening to sutras for a long time, they understand it. The question is whether they can do it, and how much they have done. In terms of practice, one must do it completely, absolutely; otherwise, it is pollution, and once polluted, it must be purified. If you do not know that your problems in this area are manifesting and you commit the fault again and again, you are moving further and further away from purification, and further and further away from realising your true nature. Therefore, I, Chin Kung, am very cautious and careful. When I see it, I bring it up during lectures to serve as a warning to everyone. But whether the listener can have an awakening after hearing it, whether they have the awareness to realise that this is their own problem and to improve, depends on the individual. If they are by my side, I occasionally mention it, but the other party may not always be happy about it; some even grumble in their hearts, so I stop mentioning it.

The Courage to Face the Truth

Of course, my understanding, Chin Kung’s understanding, is not necessarily correct. It is indeed not necessarily correct. Although I am so cautious and careful, once I commit a fault, I still have to face the consequences. If one truly, thoroughly removes the worldly 'self,' the physical 'self,' the 'self' of various desires, and the 'self' of sensory perceptions, and realises one's true nature, that 'self' of the true nature is the real 'self.' That is the 'self' that practice seeks to recover. Many practitioners in ancient times trekked through thousands of mountains and rivers, seeking famous teachers for guidance, all hoping to find this true 'self.' Even at the end of their lives, they might not have found it. They spent a lifetime looking and still couldn't find it. The lucky ones, or those who manifest as 'come-again' beings, might manifest the appearance of the true 'self.' That is everyone’s blessing, and if there is an opportunity to learn, there is a chance to find the 'self' of the true nature.

I, Chin Kung, have been lecturing for sixty years, and at the same time, I have been learning. I also hope to recover this 'self' of the true nature. But I am very ashamed; until the moment before my death, I had to admit that I had not yet found my true nature. Perhaps I was purified, but to reach one hundred percent purification—pure and good—so that the true nature can manifest, I, Chin Kung, did not reach one hundred percent. I had some purification, more or less. How much you are purified is how much your true ability manifests. This is how it is; not a single bit can be covered up or faked. One knows it in one's own heart. To face the real 'self' truly requires courage, and you cannot even grasp the problem. Just like the 'sincere heart'—if this heart represents the 'self,' the sincere heart is the 'self' of the true nature. But everyone—let's not say everyone, let's say I, Chin Kung, myself—must examine whether I am treating everyone and everything around me with a sincere heart. Sometimes there is selectivity; I am very sincere about this matter or this person. Generally speaking, towards one's parents, children, or spouse in the family, if it comes from a good karmic condition, one can treat them with a sincere heart, giving entirely without asking for a return; this is relatively common. But towards other people, such as work partners, there is always some degree of defense, self-protection, and caution against the other party. As long as there is a little bit of a self-protective mentality—'I cannot suffer a loss,' 'It's not worth it if I suffer a loss,' 'I cannot suffer even a little bit of loss'—how can this be a sincere heart? This is not a sincere heart; this is a selfish heart.

The Hidden Stone

But often, people who are like this do not even realise it. Only when they step on a stone, twist their foot, and feel the pain do they suddenly realise, 'Oh! So that stone has been there all along!' There was a day when the stone was clearly in front of their eyes, but their eyes didn't see it, and they stepped on it. Because they fell and twisted their foot, and felt the pain of the retribution, they knew to move it away quickly; then there is still hope. But it is not easy! Because this stone is hidden in a very, very deep corner of the heart, one cannot see it clearly; one cannot see one's own hypocritical heart. If there is no opportunity, you might never discover it in your whole life. This part will also hinder you and prevent you from finding your true nature. For worldly people, self-protection is a very natural thing, but for a practitioner, it is a great destructive force. Fortunately, in the Buddha’s gate, after purification, it is still possible to discover it; otherwise, not only will you be unable to gain the benefits of realising your true nature, but in your selfishness and hypocrisy, you are already polluted at that very moment. Especially when making decisions, you will naturally choose the method that does not harm yourself. Of course, if it also does not harm the other party, that is best. If the other party is hurt, this is not a sincere treatment. If he suffers a loss, he has earned it; you think you have earned it, but you are wrong! In terms of karma, he has paid off a debt, and you might be even. If you take more from others, calculate against others for a few pounds or ounces, it is all recorded clearly in the laws of karma and cause and effect. You have suffered a loss, and you will have to pay it back another day. It is not that it is over just like that; it is not worth it. Therefore, learning from the Buddha must be thorough. Only after understanding everything can you know your own inadequacies. If one is an arrogant person, one can only reach a certain stage and cannot continue to advance. I, Chin Kung, have also been avoiding such things from happening.

The Path to Peace

In fact, my heart, Chin Kung’s heart—to have a heart is to have a 'self'; to have no heart is to have no 'self.' The 'self' beneath 'no-self' is the true 'self.' Before the true 'self' manifests, purification is very important. The more purified, the clearer one becomes; the more one can avoid committing faults, and the more clearly one can see the truth of the facts. Your wisdom opens up, and you can avoid creating karma. If you hinder yourself and the retribution manifests, only then do you know suffering, and only then do you know to change; then there is still hope. Sometimes it is already too late, and the damage is too great. At this time, do you want to take responsibility? You must! Not only must you take responsibility, but you must also pay the price. Such a negative cause has already been created, and when the negative result, the causal conditions, mature, you will receive the retribution yourself. As long as there is a 'self' that commits faults, unless it is manifesting as a Buddha or Bodhisattva teaching beings, it is not a part of the true nature. Therefore, when you are with someone who has realised their true nature, you will feel at ease; that is, they will not commit faults, they will not create karma. What can be done, they will do; what cannot be done, they will also understand and stop in time. Of course, they will never lead you to do things that cannot be done. In this way, you can be at ease. Such a Buddhist practitioner is successful. If you cannot even take care of yourself and say you want to teach others, how much will others believe you? Perhaps they can listen on the surface, but to truly follow the teachings, there is a distance.

A Regretful Admission

I have already mentioned many times in interviews why I say I have not yet realised my true nature. One can know this from the fact that I made the wrong decision to block Practitioner Su, Su Fo, from the Pure Land system. Oh my, if it were someone who had realised their true nature, we would be begging for them to come; how could we possibly turn them away? Namo Amituofo is in the human world; it is already too late to get close and learn, how could we possibly keep our distance and reject them from thousands of miles away? This is because I had not realised my true nature. How could someone who has realised their true nature be like this? I did not see the truth of the facts clearly, nor did I come to verify it, and I made such a decision. It is indeed true that 'the retribution is received by oneself.' When I reached the end of my life, the karma of hell manifested.

That will catch you unprepared. When that time comes, you know you were wrong. Is it too late? I have already suffered so much. Fortunately, I was saved by Namo Amituofo and Practitioner Su, who stopped my suffering. Otherwise, it seems I had some achievements in the world, but after the end of my life, I had to truly face what my spirit had done while in the world. You have to admit your own faults. However, this admission is only possible because I am being interviewed now, Chin Kung, and have the opportunity to confess. When I was alive, that 'self' was still self-protecting, protecting itself, thinking it was protecting the association and the academy. As it turns out now, it hurt myself and also harmed everyone. Why say harm? Because I cut off the great opportunity for everyone to get close to Namo Amituofo, to get close to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre, to be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, and the unprecedented matter of Namo Amituofo helping everyone heal. This is indeed very serious.

A Final Appeal

However, for some time now, I, Chin Kung, have been calling for the removal of the previous practices towards Practitioner Su, Su Fo, but everyone seems to be unmoved. Listening, but not hearing, or not even listening at all? If so, how can this karma of mine, Chin Kung, be eliminated? It still has to be paid back. If they listen and can come to find Namo Amituofo, I, Chin Kung, will have eliminated a little karma, and there will be a few who can be saved. Saving a few is better than saving none at all. What is called 'saving' is being able to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. Such an important matter—Namo Amituofo is here, of course, He can help you, and for those who want to realise their true nature, this place can also help you. When you are alive, this heart and conduct can be purified, moving towards the righteous path of realising the true nature, and it can also allow the body to receive appropriate protection. After all, the body is still very important; without a body, one cannot realise the true nature. If the suffering of old age and sickness manifests, come to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. The compassionate Namo Amituofo can help you invite spirits and resolve conflicts, leading beings to the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss or the Western Dharma-Nature Land to listen to the sutras and hear the Dharma. There will be a day when you can reach the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. So, all in all, I, Chin Kung, still have to thank Practitioner Su, Su Fo, for giving me the opportunity, within the topic given by Namo Amituofo, to express my own faults. I hope all of this is not too late.

Practitioner Su, Su Fo, once said that those who were led to the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss in the past are now in the West. This is true and not false, and they can be interviewed. In the ninety-six years of my life, Chin Kung, sixty years of lecturing, I still could not find the true 'self' or the true nature. Of course, looking at the many, many believers who listened to my lectures, if everyone could really believe these words of mine, Chin Kung, they would have taken action long ago. It is precisely because there are still obstacles in their hearts and self-protection that they are unwilling to accept it. No matter how many times I am interviewed, if the association and the academy do not open the knot in their hearts and still do not believe, then everything I, Chin Kung, have said is useless; it is all in vain. At this time, one must be a little more open-minded. Regardless of whether they believe it or not, I, Chin Kung, am confessing sincerely. Moreover, I heard that there are still people reading the interviews from these days. If a few of these people can believe my words, Chin Kung, and come to the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre to learn and seek the Dharma, then it is worth it. If I cannot save them, I can at least save these. How much benefit each receives depends on their own fortune. I, Chin Kung, have also done my best. To this day, there is no news. What I should say, I will still say; what I should repeat or re-lecture, I will still repeat. I will speak until the day when someone among you suddenly wakes up; then you will be saved. If no one comes, I will not speak, and I, Chin Kung, will be derelict in my duty. Saving one is saving one; saving two is saving two. Some words cannot be said too heavily. Think about it carefully. In these sixty years of following me, Chin Kung, how much have you learned? You have learned many Buddhist terms of the Pure Land, and you have done a lot. Everyone has done a lot; besides the monastics, many lay practitioners and volunteers have worked very diligently.

The Ultimate Goal

The monastics have all been very dedicated to supporting me, Chin Kung, so I, Chin Kung, have also done my best to take care of everyone. But once it comes to the matter of being reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss—this is the most important goal for everyone’s practice, as lay practitioners and volunteers, isn't it? Whether this goal can be achieved—looking at the current situation, how should I say it? If I say, I am afraid that not many people can be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss, then I am really slapping my own face and cannot get off the stage, because isn't everyone learning from me, Chin Kung? From another perspective, that Chin Kung is also too arrogant. Whether one can be reborn or not is one's own business. That is also true, but I, Chin Kung, cannot escape the blame. I am now making amends, but time waits for no one; it is no longer as effective as when I was alive.

Some people will be unconvinced: 'I have practiced so well, I have practiced so diligently, why does the old master, the teacher, have to say that, and ask, "How many people can be reborn in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss?" You cannot just think that because you yourself were not reborn in the West, we cannot be reborn either, right? That is not necessarily true; perhaps I feel I have a chance!' If you can be reborn, then good. I, Chin Kung, praise you, and I, Chin Kung, also hope that you can all be reborn.

But is there a second chance for this kind of thing? You cannot say, 'I was not reborn this time, I will do it again. I made a mistake just now, please Buddha, come and take me again. I want to go to the West, I will change.' It is too late; at that time, it is already too late! Just like me, Chin Kung, I had a moment of blankness, and I didn't connect the Buddha-name, so I went to hell. Who would save you? Not everyone is as lucky as I, Chin Kung, to have Namo Amituofo and Practitioner Su, Su Fo, to save them. Now you don't even believe in Practitioner Su, Su Fo, so how can you let people come to save you?

In short, it is never wrong to accumulate more provisions for yourself to be reborn in the West while you are alive. Store up a little more; perhaps some part of it will allow you to be reborn in the West.

Alright, this heavy talk is for the end. Whether you can see it or not depends on the individual. I, Chin Kung, will stop here today. Namo Amituofo.

Shi Chin Kung, with palms joined.

At the Western Dharma-Nature Land of the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre, Australia.