The Journey to Awakening: A Testimony from Venerable Kailin

On June 1, 2017, the practitioner Shi Faxi performed ten prostrations with the utmost sincerity to invite the spirit of Venerable Kailin. This interview was conducted to explore the spiritual journey and the experience of rebirth in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. It is our hope that by sharing these insights, we may repay the kindness of the Buddha and provide essential guidance to all monastics and practitioners currently walking the path. Namo Amituofo.

The Weight of Unpaid Gratitude

With deep reverence and three prostrations, I, Kailin, offer my humble respects. Namo Amituofo. To my venerable teacher, I acknowledge that there is a debt of gratitude I failed to repay during my lifetime. Now, as I look back from this perspective, I understand that regardless of the circumstances of one's life, one must always maintain a heart of profound respect. The kindness of a teacher is a grace that one can never fully repay in a single lifetime.

My life was cut short by illness. It was only through the great compassion of my teacher that I was brought into the Buddha’s gate. I spent time alongside the other disciples, yet in the coming and going of daily life, I failed to engage in deep, pure practice. We all carried remnants of our old habits and tendencies, and the friction between us became a series of tests that I was not prepared to face. As a foolish monk, I did not understand how to advance or retreat with wisdom. I became trapped in my own thoughts, which eventually manifested as physical illness. Even my teacher, I observed, had little time to focus on personal cultivation due to the demands of the community.

The Hidden Dangers of the Mind

Later, I was sent to Inner Mongolia. Although the environment was structured for monastic practice, I lacked the inner foundation required to reach the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. Some may have believed I had attained it, but the truth is that I only reached the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss because of the compassionate intervention of Practitioner Su.

During my time in the world, I had the opportunity to practise alongside Practitioner Su. At that time, she was a highly respected figure beside our teacher. Our teacher had instructed both me and Practitioner Kaiji to learn from her for a short period. Those days were the most spiritually joyful of my entire life. Without that direct contact with Practitioner Su, I could never have understood how a lay practitioner could reach such a high level of attainment. She repeatedly corrected my behaviour and guided me in understanding the proper relationship I should have had with our teacher. I did not achieve success in my practice; I simply lived each day, listening to the teacher and chanting Namo Amituofo. Yet, it was only after I passed away that I truly realised how far I still was from the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

The Compassionate Guidance of Practitioner Su

I was proficient in the rituals of the temple and the practice of chanting. However, I now realise that these were merely empty shells. No one had ever told me that I should not allow my mind to wander into endless conceptualisation. I did not understand that the first point of attack for my karmic creditors was my head. By the time I was thirty, these karmic creditors had already found me. I was constantly thinking, obsessing over countless matters. I was cautious, yes, but my mind was filled with so much internal chatter that I rarely experienced a state of true purity.

It is a fact that I did not achieve success in my practice. However, since I have been given this opportunity to appear and share my story, I will uphold this duty and speak with the clarity that only the experience of death can provide. I am not dead; I live forever in the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss. Yet, when I was alive, I never felt truly at ease because my heart was bound by attachments. My death was not without warning, but I was too lost in my own mental space to notice. Now I know that thinking too much causes the soul—the three hun souls and seven po souls—to scatter. It is a terrifying reality.

An Invitation to the Pure Land Path

At the final moment of my life, I remember vividly that my soul felt as though it were being suspended, unable to find its way. How could I have possibly reached the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss on my own? I placed my deep faith in Practitioner Su, and after my passing, I naturally turned to her for help. It was truly Practitioner Su who guided me to the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.

I am a man of few words, and I do not wish to speak at length here. My only hope is to assist in the development of the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. If you believe in the words I have spoken, I invite you to seek me out. I can descend from the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss at any time to converse with you, right here at the Hsiang Kuang Pure Land Buddhist Centre. Of course, I earnestly hope that our venerable teacher will also visit. I wish for everyone to believe that the Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss is not far away. Please allow me the opportunity to introduce this path to you. Namo Amituofo.

The foolish monk, Kailin, bows in repentance.

Recorded by the Buddha's disciple, Shi Faxi.